Dentist speak

October 25, 2024 Ian Hunter1 Comment

I went to the dentist yesterday

Not to fix a dental problem

Routine planned maintenance with the hygienist

Stacey is a very pleasant young lady

We started by chatting about our respective families

As she positioned me horizontal in the chair

I lost all sight of her pretty face

When she switched on her miner’s cyclopes bright light

I closed my eyes and surrendered

My mouth was soon filled with suction tubes, mirrors on sticks and a super strong power washer

The equipment made a lot of noise

Far too much to hold a conversation

But we had one anyway, throughout the whole procedure:

Stacey: did you have family visiting over the summer?

Me: ug ger ga ga ker grah

Stacey: where did you take them?

Me: ugh gee ent to gag goo ged gra gee gan gace

Stacey: their pita bread is delicious, we love the mezza there

Me: gee guv kit coo

Stacey: how old is your grandson?

Me: gee gill ge gelve goon

Stacey: oh twelve is that funny age where they start to change into a teenager

Me: ges gee gi ga git goody

Stacey: where did you go on vacation this year?

Me: ge gen koo ahh gan gan goo geng gan

Stacey: did you see the northern lights in Iceland?

Me: go gi gas goo gla gee gut ge gaw got gata gawl

Stacey: oh those beautiful waterfalls, I saw your the photos on FaceBook

Me: ugh goan goo ga guc, ga gaw guh gy ge gife

Stacey: oh yes she is your social media queen, I am almost finished now, just one last rinse

I felt ice cold water gushing into my mouth like a fire house

My teeth don’t like extreme temperatures

The pain was instant

I closed my eyes tighter

Praying it would end soon

Stacey: how are you doing?

Me: ga gow gawgu gake gy gee gaw

Stacey: thats normal but it will all be done soon

The fire hose was turned off

The suction tube drained my mouth and half my internal organs

My teeth stopped screaming at me

She finished off with a rotating brush and gritty toothpaste

Then it was all over

A final mouthwash rinse and I was able to talk human again

Stacey: see you in six months, have a great winter

Me: you too, it was good to catch up

Soon I was back outside and walking towards my car

Making resolutions to floss daily

So that Stacey has less need to power wash my molars

I decided to weigh myself when I got home

I must surely have lost pounds in plaque

Abi and friends make rain memories

September 27, 2024 Ian HunterLeave a comment

The day began with a heavy gray sky promising rain that would nourish the earth

The first droplets tapped gently on the window playing a soft symphony of nature

Abi pressed her face against the glass as she was eager to feel the cool drops on her skin

She was a curious little girl who loved to play and explore

She ran outside embracing the refreshing shower that kissed her cheeks

The scent of wet earth filled the air in an aromatic signal of awakening life

Puddles in the street formed mirrors reflecting the world above

Abi studied the images before splashing through them

Her laughter mingling with the sound of falling rain as she shattered the wet images

A group of children spotted Abi and quickly joined in

Their joyful shouts echoing through the neighborhood

They raced each other as they splashed in every puddle along the way

Each splash sent water flying in the air like tiny sparkling diamonds

The rain joined in the outdoor revelry and danced around them

A nearby old oak tree stood tall with its leaves rustling softly in the breeze

Abi ran to its sturdy trunk seeking shelter for a moment to catch her breath

She watched as the rain created a curtain of droplets at the edge of the canopy

A ladybug landed on her finger seeking refuge from the storm

Abi smiled as she marveled at its tiny red shell

Heavy rain was drumming against the roof of the old barn nearby

She and her friends scurried inside to escape form the downpour

They were all laughing and shaking off the water like wet puppies

The barn was a treasure trove of forgotten memories and dusty hay

They built a fort out of bales as they settled in for a rain-soaked adventure

The storm raged on but they felt safe and warm inside

They played games and told stories of magical creatures that danced in the rain

The energy of the storm fed their imaginations and the tales got wilder

Eventually the rain began to lighten into a gentle patter

The sun peeked through the clouds casting a golden glow

They ventured outside once more to be greeted by vibrant rainbows arching across the sky

They splashed through puddles while squealing with delight

Abi twirled under the sky embracing the magic that had unfolded

The rain had brought them together to create a day filled with laughter and joy

The setting sun made everything glisten to heighten their awareness of the moment

They knew the memory of today would stay with them forever

Setting intentions

September 3, 2024September 2, 2024 Ian Hunter1 Comment

its early morning

the sun is just about to rise

everything is quiet

a great time to sit and think

I start with an empty mind

setting my intentions for the day

trying to avoid my mistakes of yesterday

its not easy to keep everybody around you happy

sometimes those you love don’t meet your expectations

sometimes you don’t meet their expectations

disappointment can lead to frustration

all you can do is try to be better yourself

and hope the ones you love be more forgiving

people often forget that life is just a transient thing

these times together will not last forever

they should be treasured

I will try harder today

sunrise brings hope

how was your day

July 15, 2024July 14, 2024 Ian HunterLeave a comment

Just before she left for the day

My wife gave me some advice

Try to be more romantic

So after a lot of reflection

I decided my life did indeed need more romance

I put a plan in action

I lovingly washed our bed linen

I caressed each dish from the dishwasher

I took the trash for a long romantic walk

I whispered sweet nothings to my laptop

I read a poem to my breakfast porridge

I told my cup of tea she was really hot

I bought an expensive gift for my bicycle

I treated myself to delicious chocolates

I wrote the shopping list with red lipstick

I blew kisses into the mirror while shaving

I took an extra long shower

I made my underwear beg to be worn

I drove my sexy car to the store

I held the wheel really tight

I smiled at other drivers in traffic

I paused to look at every item in the store

I filled my shopping cart with love

I gently placed my groceries on the checkout belt

I thanked my car for waiting for me

I listened to slow music all the way home

I carried the grocery bags over the threshold

I sensually spread the tuna salad on my bread

I ate lunch very very slowly

I listened attentively to every word spoken by the radio

My wife burst in and told me her day was a total disaster

She asked my how my day had been

I paused before saying “uneventful”

Therefore I am(maybe?)

July 10, 2024July 9, 2024 Ian HunterLeave a comment

I write

therefore

I am

I think

therefore

I am

I think I write

therefore

I am a thinking writer

I write about lots of things

Therefore

I think a lot

Sometimes

I think too much

Leaving little time for writing

I think I should try writing without thinking

What would people think about my thoughtless writing

No reason to live if I don’t think and write

I will stop thinking when I die

But I might schedule posts on Cheeky Monkey well into the future

So that you can read my posthumous writings

I think that’s a great idea

Therefore I am not

Lets play ball in the park

June 19, 2024 Ian HunterLeave a comment

a boy walked down a busy city street

staying very close to his mother

clutching the ball tightly

on their way to play in the park

cars buses and trucks noisily sped by

the boy was oblivious to the traffic

his mind was fixed on playing ball in the park

his mother took a call on her cell phone

the ball slipped from the boys hands

he stopped walking as the ball went down

it struck his foot and bounced up in an ark

the ball was heading for the road

everything went into slow motion

the boy reached out towards the ball

he was stepping towards the road

his eyes focused solely on the ball

his mother was talking on the phone

but for some reason her instincts kicked in

she spun round and saw the ball in the air

and her son following it towards the road

she lurched towards the boy

grabbing the hood of his coat

pulling him back away from the road

they both spun round and fell in a heap

as they sat on the sidewalk

they both watched the ball in slow motion

it bounced once in the road

then landed under the wheel of a passing truck

a loud bang signaled its total destruction

the shredded remains smashed into the road

the boy looked deep into his mothers eyes

they went shopping for a new ball

the ultimate journey

April 29, 2024April 28, 2024 Ian HunterLeave a comment

There are many paths to chose from in life

but very few markers or or maps to consult

parents and mentors can give you guidance

ultimately its up to you to navigate on your own

there will be dangerous obstacles to overcome

temptations abound for taking wrong turns

sometimes you will make mistakes

making U turns to get back on the right track

excuse me am I on the path to success

will you show me the way to utopia

can I follow you on the road to happiness

how do I get on that gravy train

education is a great navigation tool

not just learning facts and figures

for when you are at a dangerous crossroads

ethics and moral values will be your guides

sometimes the path gets steep and rocky

littered with failures and those who cling to you

pulling you in all directions and jumping on your back

offering you hedonistic rides to a non-existent paradise

does that sign say this way to riches without hard work

will I be seen as a failure if I give up now

this place has an evil smell

oh no I have been down this bad road before

the road seems never ending

indeed it will continue as a lifelong journey

the sweetest moments are the unplanned pauses

to smell the roses and bathe in the glorious scenery

when you have taken the right path and reached your goals

you can look back and figure out how you got there

I have lived inside two stars

April 15, 2024April 15, 2024 Ian HunterLeave a comment

I remember so well our first date

There was a twinkle in your eye

Sparks crackled with our first kiss

One of them set my heart alight

A warm steady glow at first

Flames began to flicker

Soon my heart was an inferno

An everlasting burning deep love

Fueled by your happy smile

Your touch caused those flames to explode

You told me your heart was ablaze too

Together we formed two bright celestial binary stars

We rode that energy with abandon

Nothing else really mattered

Our love was powered by nuclear fusion

It was going to last forever

It did so for decades

Suddenly your fire for me was extinguished

It was glowing for somebody else

My flames kept burning

Resisting all your attempts to snuff them out

Burning bright even after you left

Fueled by hope that you would someday return

When I ran out of hope fuel

I poured gallons of desperation on my glowing heart

Unfortunately desperation is not combustable

The glow went dimmer and dimmer

My burning star joy replaced by intense agonizing pain

It was unbearable when my fire went completely cold

I feared it would never burn again

Slowly my pain became almost tolerable

Subsiding to dull ache for most of the time

Memories would cause that pain to intensify like a stabbing knife wound

Reminding me of what my life used to be

Punishing me for something that was not of my doing

Eventually I found a cure for my pain and suffering

I had to let go of you completely

Sever the ties of our dead binary stars

Then suddenly all the pain was gone

Replaced by a calming emptiness

It was my way of grieving for a death

Although you were still alive and walking around

You were not the same person who once stoked my flames

That was a different you back then

I grieved for a while as I gazed at other galaxies

I was finally in control of my life again

Knowing that you could no longer trick my wounded heart

Your fake smile emitted no sparks for me

You last parting limp hug felt stone cold

I looked into the night sky checking out the constellations

Just a black hole were our stars once burned bright

It was time for me to take a journey through the universe

A bumpy ride fighting off many alien invaders

Then I spotted an interesting star in the distance

Glowing brighter when I approached

I wasted no time flying right into her heart

Mine was on fire the first time I kissed her

This binary star will burn bright eternally

work work work work fishing work work fishing work fishing work fishing fishing work fishing fishing work fishing

December 25, 2023 Ian HunterLeave a comment

In the early days of my career

I was very ambitious and worked hard

Long hours and weekends were consumed

By my relentless drive to reach every working goal

As soon as I achieved a promotion

I set myself a new target for the next one

It was like running on a treadmill

That went faster and higher without a break

One day a good friend said he was concerned

That my work-life balance was all wrong

He said we were going on a fishing trip

To take my mind off work for one day

I thought it was a waste of time but agreed

We caught no fish the first day

Vowing to try again the following weekend

And so started a new passion outside my job

My fishing knowledge improved through focused learning

Progressing from pure leisure to competitions

Pitching my fishing skills against others

Winning lots of trophies and prizes

My performance at work also improved

I no longer worked weekends

Enjoying more time with my family

Fishing was my weekly stress relief

My work-life balance was restored

It took me a long time to realize

That fishing is a form of meditation

Clearing your mind of all random thoughts

As you focus on a single thing

If you practice meditation you can find the answers

To problems that had seemed unsolvable

Retirement put an end to working goals

Replaced by goals for learning, lifestyle, family and friendships

I rarely go fishing now but I do find time to meditate daily

Namaste

Until her angel flew down to kiss her

May 23, 2023May 22, 2023 Ian HunterLeave a comment