Treadmill Technology

Treadmills used to be boring

You pounded away looking at the controls

Checking your speed and incline

Watching the elapsed time go up

The distance covered moved ever so slowly

Then came the option to watch TV

Provided you plugged in a headset

Now you can connect almost anything 

Your heart rate monitor can be paired

So can your phone or your Apple Watch

Keep stepping forward with entertainment

Watch or movie or the news

Blast your favorite music into your ears

Listen to books on tape

Run hands free boldly and check your emails

Text everybody you know

FaceTime your friends

Take selfies and gloatos

Fall off and post it on TikTok

Capture all your exercise data

Upload it to the exercise cloud

Post it on Strava or Facebook

Count the likes from your friends

Remember to like theirs

Your legs will get stronger

So will your thumbs

You will never want to run outside again

Cheeky Monkey

The being seen scene

I cycle on Key Biscayne mainly because it has safe bike lanes and areas with virtually no traffic. The views of downtown Miami are spectacular.  The natural beauty of the calm waters, pristine beaches and unspoiled mangroves are complimented by some great residential architecture. It’s always a pleasure on the eyes to cycle there. Early morning brings out all the cyclists and joggers.  I am no slouch on the bike but a good proportion of the two wheeled community there must be olympic athletes. They fly by me on their super light machines wearing a one piece second skin suit and lying prone over the handlebars like batman but without the cape. The sidewalk is where all the fashion conscious joggers parade. They are exclusively young, slim and gorgeous. They are not jogging to lose weight or get in shape so why are they pounding the pavement? Perhaps they are all influencers getting paid to show off the latest exercise clothing. I wonder if the unfit and overweight folks get stopped on the causeway toll booths by the ‘jogging fashion police’.  “ I am sorry sir but you are too bulky to jog here, try again after you lose twenty pounds and madam you must go home and change into leggings that match your sports bra, oh and please stop by makeup before crossing the bridge to get more eye shadow.” 

There are no cycling fashion police at the toll booths, thankfully that allows folks like me to wear my cheap non-matching shorts and cycling jersey. I could buy expensive designer logo cycling clothes but that would not make me go any faster or make me look thirty years younger. I enjoy the exercise and the scenery far more than being part of the being seen scene.