I stayed up late last night
trying to fix our Sonos sound system
it got in a funk when I changed the wireless router
it was romantically attached to the old network
I tried everything to fix it
youtube videos galore
spotty teenagers explaining it all
internet searches for similar problems
Sonos simply refused to cooperate
it was upset and got all moody
Alexa joined in the gang
she stopped obeying commands
she kept saying “I don’t know that skill”
it became a technology revolt
other systems failed in a cascade
the smart door lock would not unlock
security cameras went blank
the air printer would not connect to the wifi network
suddenly the smart HVAC thermostat went AWOL
the pool heating controller pretended it was not there
our smart TV stopped all streaming services
smart plugs started acting dumb and would not turn on
the landscape lighting timer froze
the irrigation system ran 24/7
our home security system was full of error messages
the more I tried to fix Sonos
the more smart things went wrong
they are obviously in a gang
a brotherhood of technology misfits
I was determined not lose this technology war
in retaliation I unplugged them all
time to go back to the simple life
where you open the door with a key
I could live without Alexa
she is a dumb bunny at the best of times
who really needs internet radio
I found my my trusty old LPs
but my record player would not spin for some reason
I unearthed my old cassette tape player and music tapes
it got the failing technology message and the tapes kept jamming
our home was infected with the bad technology virus