The very first ‘ology’ I recall was in my school days in biology classes

We dissected frogs and studied anatomy

Those classes had a profound effect on me

Whenever I saw a frog in nature, it conjured up images of it being pinned spreadeagled on a board and poked with a very sharp scalpel

Many years passed before my next ‘ology’ encounter when a severe intestinal issue required a meeting with a gastroenterology specialist

Fortunately he did not pin me to a board to treat me and I soon got better

Although I am not truly aware of exactly what they do to me while sleeping through all the colonoscopies I have endured

Vision problems added yet another ‘ology’ into my life as I attempted to read very minute letters on a distant screen

There were lots of certificates on the wall with the word ophthalmology in big bold letters

I could not make out the small print in those certificates

I imagined it said things like ‘if you can read this then you don’t need glasses’

I left his office wearing glasses

My next ‘ology’ encounter was necessary to investigate issues with my heart. My cardiologist did mostly blood work with occasional stress tests but I eventually succumbed to surgery to control my AFib

My gradual loss of hearing introduced me to another ‘ology’

The audiologist put me in a sound proof booth with headphones and very faint beeps

Thankfully the hearing aid fitting did not require a sharp scalpel

I recall the occasion when my regular doctor flagged my PSA blood results

I added the urologist to my list of ologies

He preferred the needle over the scalpel as he performed multiple prostate biopsies

This was certainly not my favorite ‘ology’

Moving on to strange markings on my skin which required me to see yet another ‘ology’

The dermatology doctor was for many years the most non-invasive of the gang

He simply looked at my skin and lectured me about sunscreen until one day he found a small bump on my forehead

His eyes lit up as he explained that this basal cell growth must be removed

And yes, he did it with a very sharp scalpel

My aging joints had me creaking across the room to see a rheumatology doctor who has so far also spared me from the scalpel

It seems like my general doctor is always looking for an excuse to add another ology into my life

Some deficiencies in my blood tests had me trotting off into the world of endocrinology

I was relived to see no signs of sharp cutting instruments in her office

I have now collected so many ‘ology’ doctors that my calendar is littered with ongoing ‘ology’ appointments

Its time the medical profession combined forces to create the ultimate multiologist

Then I would only have to see that person once a year for checks my skin, eyes, ears, bladder, prostate, hormones, joints, heart and colon in one sitting

It would certainly require an anesthesiology person to put me under for this mass probing

While unconscious, I will probably have strange dreams about a giant frog wearing a vest that says pathology

As he pins me to a board and sharpens his scalpel