Category: mental state

Self-prime on days that end in Y

Ian Hunter2 Comments

Early generation combustion engines would never start without priming

You had to push a button a few times

Or squeeze a rubber bulb to get some fuel flowing to the engine

Then it would start the first time and run perfectly

We can all do the same for ourselves

Your day will go so much better with self-priming

Start your morning with some positive thoughts

Focus on your known strengths

Reflect on your great achievements

Anticipate positive outcomes for the tasks of the day

Be optimistic that you can navigate any obstacles that come along

There is a good chance your day will go better with self-priming

It’s the same with your body

Athletes do not perform well without priming

They do stretches and warm-ups before taxing their muscles

So why not prime your mind before entering the world

It’s also good to prime yourself throughout the day

Before an important meeting

Give yourself a few minutes alone

Think about the character strengths of those you are meeting

The outcome will probably be much better

Than if you entered with negative thoughts

When it comes to making an important decision

Take a few moments to decompress

Relieve the tension and anxiety surrounding the outcome

Think about a really good decision you have made in the past

One that had a very positive result

The chances are you will probably get it right this time

But if you do make a wrong decision

Be honest about it and forgive yourself

Prime yourself by treating it as a learning experience

I just checked and Today does end in Y

When I take a breath

Ian Hunter1 Comment

When I take a breath

In moments of reflection

I do so consciously

Its my moment

When I take a breath

I am in control

I can hold on to it

Its my breath

When I take a breath

A full deep breath

I feel energy

Its my energy

When I take a breath

With deep focus

I can feel a heart beating

Its my heart beat

When I take a breath

I pause to give thanks

Trees made that oxygen

Its my oxygen

When I take a breath

I accept the gift of life

I am grateful

Its my life

When I take a breath

I feel something pure inside

To be shared

Its my love

Demons

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Depression consumes you

Eats away at your soul

There is no escaping it

Sleeping is no cure

Demons wait for you to wake up

Stomping all over you

Your body aches

Pills are not the answer

Your mind has been hijacked

Negative thoughts squat

Refusing to be evicted

You just want to be alone

No interest in working

Exercise is unappealing

Even eating is a chore

You have reached rock bottom

Time slows down

You stare into empty space

Nothing in focus

You take a deep breath

This is endless

You feel totally numb

What is that sound

Music is playing

Its your favorite song

Negative thoughts melt away

Happy memories float in

Bright ideas queue up

Patiently waiting for you

Your aches drain away

You feel energized again

Your next breath tastes so sweet

Color returns to your vision

That smell of cooking is so good

Tactile touches make your fingers dance

You just got your life back

Hold onto it tight

Do not let those demons back in

The escape

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He desperately wanted to feel better

Lose the hurt anger and hate

Go back to normal times

But his feelings were unshakable

Clinging to him with a vice like grip

They had taken over his body

An unwelcome invading army

Living inside him like a parasite

Dictating his thoughts

Leaving him powerless

He was just a passenger

On a runaway emotional train

Too dangerous to jump off

Equally afraid of the inevitable crash

He went into the bathroom

Splashing cool water on his face

It felt soothing

As he spread his fingers slightly apart

He caught sight of a reflected prisoner 

Peering through the bars of his hands

His desperate eyes begging for release

As the mocking guards jeered

He seized the opportunity

Punching the mirror hard with his right fist

It shattered instantly but stayed on the wall

He followed through with a second punch

His left hand aimed at the largest slivers

More punches followed

The mirror was destroyed

Replaced by blood stains on the wall 

The bars were no longer to be seen

The prisoner was long gone

The occupying emotional army drained from him

As his blood dripped from a thousand cuts

He quickly wrapped his hands in a towel

The price for freedom was high

He knew he would survive

His captors were no longer chasing him

My mental trash can burst out laughing

Ian Hunter2 Comments

It seems like everybody is on a diet

Or planning to be on a diet

Every other TV commercial is for a diet program or diet product

Supermarket shelves stacked with low cal this and low carb that

I was enjoying a nice dinner party

Until the dinner table conversations were hijacked by dieters

We fast for 16 hours every day

I never eat meat

I have been vegan for decades

Oh we stopped eating carbs years ago

They are so bad for you said the lady next to me

Pointing to the roast potato on my fork

I nodded but ate it anyway

It tasted so good

I could hear the potato whispering to me

Ignore that dumb potato hating woman next to you

Just eat me and enjoy

I ate more potatoes

I smiled at the potato hater

She looked way too thin and wrinkly

I bet her shelves are full of diet books

Nothing tasty ever comes out of her kitchen

She is on a crusade to get everyone to join her diet cult

Well I am sorry lady but I am not signing up

I enjoy eating and drinking a lot more than dieting

She keeps droning on and on about dieting so I stop listening

I let my mind wander

I decided to invent my own form of dieting

You can eat and drink anything you want

At any time of day or night as you please

But your mind is on a strict diet

You are only allowed to think nice thoughts

No negative thinking allowed whatsoever

Sure you can hear people say negative things

But their words are not allowed to stay in your head

Those words go straight into your mental trash can

You can certainly look at dieting commercials 

Knowing that it all goes into your mental trash can

With time your memory banks become exclusively positive

Even your imagination is consistently happy and playful

I must write a book about all this

It will be a best seller for sure

In the meantime I decide to go back to the dinner table conversation

The lady next to me is still jabbering away about her diet

I watch all her spoken words fall in my mental trash can

I decide to put more roast potatoes on my plate

There is still one left in the dish so I offer it to her with a cheeky monkey grin

She is stunned into a jaw dropping silence

My mental trash can burst out laughing

I want to be

Ian Hunter2 Comments

I want to be the pop in your corn

I want to be the polish on your fingernails

I want to be the icing on your cake

I want to be the key to your front door 

I want to be the pillowcase on your bed

I want to be the lipstick in your purse

I want to be the man accompanying your hattan cocktail

I want to be the spice in your drawer

I want to be the knight in shining armor on your white horse

I want to be the talk of your town

I want to be the brightest flower in your garden

I want to be the snowy peak of your mountain climb

I want to be the music that you dance to

I want to be the keyboard on your computer

I want to be the olive in your dirty martini

I want to be the sand between your toes

I want to be the meat in your sandwich

I want to be the flame on your candle

I want to be the poached egg on your toast

I want to be the wind in your sail

I want to be the bubble in your bath

I want to be the raindrop falling on your face

I want to be the twinkle in your eye

I want to be your everything

Good health but short memory

Ian Hunter1 Comment

good health

most of us take it for granted

until you get sick or injured

then you realize how truly precious it is

you start praying for a speedy recovery

making promises that you will change your lifestyle 

if you get well its a real blessing

suddenly you feel reborn again

fleetingly toying with goals to exercise more and eat a healthier diet

you quickly go back to your old routine

you get busy and forget about your good health

bad lifestyle habits creep back in

until the next time your health deteriorates

break this cycle

before it breaks you

your poor lifestyle is not the problem

its your memory that needs fixing

first responders and nurses

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its 3.45am and my mind is racing

too early to get up

too hard to go back to sleep

nobody should be awake at this hour

except first responders and nurses

my eyes will not stay closed

I slowly get accustomed to the dark

normally my hearing is not that great

but the darkness amplifies all sounds

heartbeats are a welcome reminder that I am still living

my breathing sounds like a roaring wind

the clock ticks a slow jazz drummer rhythm 

now its too bright and too noisy for sleep

I creep downstairs and make tea

hot tea tastes good but my body is awake now

my mind has stopped racing, its just numb

I look outside at the dark night

blackness is the king of this hour

heavy cloud masks the moonlight and stars

my mind slowly empties of thoughts

allowing me to talk to myself

I question who I am

why am I me and not somebody else

who put me inside this body

where will I go after my body stops working

I do not have any answers for me

I decide to stop talking to myself

leaving space for my emotions to rush in

who wants to be first

Mr. Frustration perhaps or will Mr. Angry rush in

they both hang back surprisingly

Mr. Calm enters stage left and the spotlight is on him

I take a front row seat

he tells me everything is going to be fine

just wait a while and the dawn light will come

he smiles reassuringly and then exits stage right

the curtain comes down and it all goes black again

well that show was too short and not at all enlightening

nobody should be awake at this hour

except first responders and nurses

thankfully I do not need either of them right now

I decide to go back to bed

Mirror confessions

Ian Hunter3 Comments

what do you see when you look in a mirror

the same person you saw many years ago

but you looked so different back then

are you afraid to look in a mirror these days

do you just glance quickly at your appearance

avoiding eye contact

how come we all like talking selfies

sharing and saving them

but we try and avoid the mirror

of course you can alter your selfies

make your skin tone look good

but there is no post processing in a mirror

what you see is what you get

no flattery or lies, its all you just as you are

its easier for guys to avoid mirrors

well at least those who do not wear makeup

I only look in the mirror to shave in the morning

my gaze firmly fixed on my stubble

not wanting to bump into

that bleary eyed person called me

occasionally I will dare to look into my eyes

something strange always happens

I question if its really me

or just my minds version of reality

it always feels uncomfortable  

then I step aside and the image is gone

but thankfully I am still there

I do not need a mirror to prove I am still alive

or to remind me how I look

I prefer to reflect on who I am in my mind

I wonder if bearded men suffer from mirror shyness

The battle to control John’s thoughts

Ian Hunter2 Comments

John was something of a rebel in his youth, always challenging things

not blindly agreeing to everything he heard and he was constantly searching for answers

he made an effort to think for himself

holding strong views on many things but willing to listen and learn

as he got older he settled down raising a family and working hard at his job

thinking for himself became a tiring task

without realizing it, he allowed others to do his thinking for him

he only listened to one radio station and watched one TV channel

all his books went unread and he rarely listened to music anymore

John allowed others to inject their thoughts into him

broadcasting and social media became the dirty needles for his news addiction

social media closely tracked John’s browsing habits

adjusting his news feed like the pusher who mixes a cocktail of drugs for a junkie

john happily ate all the words prepared by the media dietitians

he would repeat the same digested words during conversations

his circle of friends dwindled to a few just like him

he only went to bars that had TVs tuned to his favorite channel

politicians who hijack people’s thoughts loved John and those like him

they could easily collect votes without having any real policies or credible manifestos

one day,  John collapsed at work and was rushed to the hospital

he had suffered a massive stroke and his recovery was long and slow

throughout rehab he was totally disconnected from all news media

therapy sessions slowly taught him to speak and walk again

his right side was partly paralyzed and he learned to type with his left hand

the therapist gave him writing tasks and he kept a journal of his recovery

it was exhausting to type even a short sentence at first but John persevered 

John’s mind slowly began to wake up again

he started reading books and magazines and progressed to writing short stories 

after a very long rehab period,  John went home but he did not turn on the TV

he stopped using social media but he read extensively and wrote every day 

his first book was an autobiography

John became a successful author

the politicians who hijack people’s thoughts don’t like John anymore