Category: British culture

Things I like about the places I have lived…

Ian HunterLeave a comment

UK: pubs, beer, football, pubs, walking paths, canals, pubs, Sunday roast dinners,  jokes about the weather, pubs, fish n Chips, football, single malt Scotch whiskey,  stiff upper lips, bangers and mash, fishing, village greens, cricket, English gardens, pubs, craft beer,  ploughman’s lunches, hiking in the rain, pubs, sports cars, Scottish mountains, Indian food, Ireland, Guinness, pubs, English breakfasts, football, Welsh valleys, pubs and warm beer

France: Architecture, language, cognac, culture, gourmet food, produce markets, vineyards, cafes, garlic, beautiful villages, snobby wine waiters, tiny cars, baguettes, Paris, lavender fields, cheese and wine

America: Open spaces, opportunities, freedom, cosmopolitan cities, diversity, great food, friendly people, long road trips, entertainment, big cars, big roads, big cities, big parks, big houses, big hearted people, technical innovation, cycling paths, volunteerism, sports, education, beautiful scenery and cold beer

Dave and John at the pub – Part 1

Ian HunterLeave a comment

John went to the pub last night, he met up with Dave for a few bevvies.

They always have a good chin wag at the pub. 

After five beers, Dave offered to buy John a whisky but he said “No.”  Dave kept insisting so eventually John said “Go on then.”

Lenny was at the bar having a skinful because of his newly arrived grandson and he was wetting the baby’s head. 

By the end of the evening Lenny was totally legless and everybody was taking the piss out of him. 

Dave was totally gutted after the Saturday football results, he said that his team’s manager had totally lost the plot during the game. 

John said he found the game so boring on the telly that he took a kip instead of watching the second half. 

When he woke up, his moggy was laying on his stomach purring. 

“You need to get rid of that moggy” said Dave “He is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard.”

John said his misses was cheesed off again because he had not decorated the bathroom over the weekend as he had promised. 

“You better pull your finger out soon” said Dave “Before she gets really pissed off at you.” 

John said “She wants us to go to Spain on Holiday this year, I am thinking of taking her camping in Wales instead and spend the rest of the holiday money on a new motorbike.” 

Dave laughed out loud, “That would certainly put a spanner in the works.” 

John laughed back “She is always whinging about something, I bet she will have the hump when I get home from the pub tonight.”

Dave said his misses was always chuffed to bits when he got home. 

“She gets my dinner and lets me fall asleep in front of the telly with a beer afterwards. 

“She probably nicks all your brass while you sleep” said John. 

After the pub closed they walked home together, stopping at the chippy for some takeaway. 

Vinny pulled up outside the chippy in his vintage Morris Minor.

Dave and John gave him a lot of stick for driving an old banger. 

“I have not seen one of those old rust buckets for donkeys years” said John.  

Vinny laughed at them saying ” I was going to give you both a lift but you have pissed me off now, I bet those chips will be soggy by the time you fat buggers stagger home in the rain.”

For the non-British readers, a list of English words and phrases from the above and their meanings will be in Part 2