Early morning silence shrouded in darkness
She lays in bed after a short unsettling sleep
Her mind acutely aware of the pains of old age
Limbs ache and stiff joints resist motion
Her mind tells her to ignore the pain
She tries to remain totally still and avoid any muscle movement
Shunning her medication as it slows down her thoughts
Its an ongoing war with daily battles
Sometimes those battles are lost and she swallows the pills
Today the pillbox sits untouched on the nightstand
She reaches out to the left side in the bed
Feeling the empty space once occupied by her recently departed husband
Her heart aches at the memory of his loss
There is no medication prescribed for such pain
She lingers a while conjuring up images of their life together
Long walks holding hands
Romantic dinners together
Bringing up a family
Smiling faces on vacations
Playing with their grandchildren
Before he was suddenly taken away after a short illness
Her hands scream in pain as she clutches the empty bedsheets
A long glance at the pills starts a fierce debate
Another day of pain or medically induced numbness
Why not take the whole box of pills she pondered
It would put and end to these constant battles
She reached out to grab he pill bottle
Recoiling sharply as she heard a voice yell no don’t do it
It was her husband no mistake
She put the light on replied where are you?
There was nobody else in the room
She sighed and reached again for the pill bottle
Please don’t take the pills he screamed
OK honey she answered knowing he was watching over her
Reaching out to smooth the wrinkled sheets on her husband’s side of the bed
Her arthritic fingers resisted but she overcame the pain
I promise not to swallow the whole bottle of pills she said softly
She never went near the pill bottle for the rest of that day
One day of battle won
Pulling back the sheets at bedtime
Her husband’s side of the bed was already wrinkled