It seems like everybody is on a diet
Or planning to be on a diet
Every other TV commercial is for a diet program or diet product
Supermarket shelves stacked with low cal this and low carb that
I was enjoying a nice dinner party
Until the dinner table conversations were hijacked by dieters
We fast for 16 hours every day
I never eat meat
I have been vegan for decades
Oh we stopped eating carbs years ago
They are so bad for you said the lady next to me
Pointing to the roast potato on my fork
I nodded but ate it anyway
It tasted so good
I could hear the potato whispering to me
Ignore that dumb potato hating woman next to you
Just eat me and enjoy
I ate more potatoes
I smiled at the potato hater
She looked way too thin and wrinkly
I bet her shelves are full of diet books
Nothing tasty ever comes out of her kitchen
She is on a crusade to get everyone to join her diet cult
Well I am sorry lady but I am not signing up
I enjoy eating and drinking a lot more than dieting
She keeps droning on and on about dieting so I stop listening
I let my mind wander
I decided to invent my own form of dieting
You can eat and drink anything you want
At any time of day or night as you please
But your mind is on a strict diet
You are only allowed to think nice thoughts
No negative thinking allowed whatsoever
Sure you can hear people say negative things
But their words are not allowed to stay in your head
Those words go straight into your mental trash can
You can certainly look at dieting commercials
Knowing that it all goes into your mental trash can
With time your memory banks become exclusively positive
Even your imagination is consistently happy and playful
I must write a book about all this
It will be a best seller for sure
In the meantime I decide to go back to the dinner table conversation
The lady next to me is still jabbering away about her diet
I watch all her spoken words fall in my mental trash can
I decide to put more roast potatoes on my plate
There is still one left in the dish so I offer it to her with a cheeky monkey grin
She is stunned into a jaw dropping silence
My mental trash can burst out laughing