They told you it would be good so you bought it

Never judge a book by its cover

Its a true saying

But we are all guilty of doing just that

When the choices are overwhelming 

As you try to find something different

What jumps out and grabs your attention

Wine bottle with the funky label

Unusual shape liquor bottle

Those amazing stats on that health food packet

Oh look at the shine on that car for sale

What a great deal on this discounted furniture

Those shoes would look great on you

We should try this new low carb bread

It must be good if the label says organic

A beer called Raging Bitch is a perfect gag gift

Lets try this new minty mouthwash

Those red apples look so appealing

Lets eat here, the menu looks fantastic

The best tasting green tea comes in a green packet

I must buy this cool looking bike

Does advertising influence your buying

Convinced you are never fooled by slick advertising

Oh yes you are

And so are the rest of us

They advertise because it captures your attention

Sows a subliminal seed in your buying genes

That germinates when you shop

Are you wondering why that new wine tastes so great

Because they told you so before you bought it

Buying glasses is complicated when you are not wearing your glasses

I needed new glasses

Decided to try Costco

Very large selection

Took off my glasses

Tried on the samples

They looked all blurry in the mirror

Of course they were

Without my glasses

I had a brainwave

Take selfies wearing samples

Hard to operate my phone

Without my glasses

Came up with a plan

Got into a rhythm

My glasses on

Set up phone for selfie

My glasses off

Sample glasses on

Take selfie

Sample glasses off

My glasses on

Look at selfie

Decided I did not like the sample

Set up my phone for selfie

My glasses off

Sample glasses on

Take selfie

Sample glasses off

My glasses on

Look at selfie

Decided I did not like the sample

This continued for many more samples

I became tired 

So I gave up and left the store

Next time I will bring the wife

She is easier to operate than my phone

I will try samples

She will say yes or no

Better that she decides

I never see myself wearing glasses anyway

ten ways to reduce your online shopping guilt burden

Amazon Prime is such a convenient way to shop, especially during a pandemic. Just a few clicks and the item is on its way to your door. If it arrives damaged or the wrong size just send it back for free. As a consumer its a far better system that having to drive to a retail store and deal with parking, searching for stuff and waiting in those long checkout lines. It does however come at a huge cost to the environment, 165 billion packages were shipped in the U.S last year. That equates to 1 Billion trees worth of cardboard. Most of what is shipped is just air, one tiny item often arrives in a shoe box size container stuffed with air filled plastic. Amazon claims to be committed to reducing its carbon footprint but it actually increased by 15% in 2019. The online shopping giant said it emitted 51.17 million metric tons of carbon dioxide last year, the equivalent of 13 coal burning power plants running for a year.  Here are 10 things you can do to help reduce this footprint.

1-Only buy what you really need by spending a little more time getting the correct item rather than returning so much. Stop buying three different sizes to find the one that fits. 

2-Complain to Amazon about the amount of plastic and packaging waste they send you. Companies do listen to customers. 

3-Lobby your law makers to force manufacturers to declare the carbon footprint of their product and online retailers to add lowest carbon footprint in your search filter. 

4- Group your items into a single shipment at checkout. Make a rule in your household not to hit the buy button until 5 or more things can be grouped.

5- Chose slower shipping whenever possible.  Faster shipping burns more fuel in transit. 

6- Make an effort to buy environmentally friendly stuff. Search for sustainable products and discover a whole new world of bamboo utensils, reusable make up pads, washable paper towels and bamboo toothbrushes.

7-Give yourself a 24 hour cooling off period on all purchases. Stop the impulse buying and leave stuff in your basket overnight. It will often look less appealing the next day, especially if you were a bit tipsy when you selected the item. 

8-Declare 2 specific days a week as online shopping free in your household. Use those days to give something back to the planet like planting tree or growing your own food. 

9-Learn to repair broken things rather than toss them and buying replacements.

10-Share these ideas with your friends and any other victims of the online shopping disease.

Modern shopping

Modern shopping

Prices dropping

purchase quick

Click click

Amazon prime

Delivery time

Order tracking

Package lacking

Big surprise

Package arrives

Opening box

Opportunity knocks

Total dispair

Contains air

Online complain

Tracking again

Package arrives

Shoes inside

Heavens alive

Wrong size

Panic attack

Sending back

Internet store

Ordering more

Shopping trips

Totally eclipsed

Retail shops

Aging flops

Demand falls

Empty malls

Online browsing

More arousing

Although convenient

Sparks disagreement

Packaging waste

Bad taste

Cardboard displease

Killing trees

Modern shopping

Environmentally shocking

Consequences of online shopping
Packaging waste

Why men hate shopping with their partner

Men like to shop fast  

Planning their attack 

Like a hunting expedition

Identifying the prey in advance 

A quick territorial raid

Then a swift kill before a rapid retreat

Women prefer to shop slowly

Making long lists in advance

But stopping to browse at everything

Picking things up to feel, smell and shake them

Often changing their minds

Buying groceries is akin to picking berries in a field

How long will a man stay calm

When shopping with his partner

Usually half an hour at most

Boredom is replaced by frustration

He will typically seek an escape

I’ll wait for you in the car honey

Most couples shop individually

Wives left to browse the aisles alone

Husbands at home shop on line

Thats the beauty of Amazon

Its available whenever a man wants

Watching football and killing a shirt at half time

The wife lugs bulging bags back home

While he watches the end of the game

She expects praise for her thrifty gatherings

Holding up each item with reverence

Look at this great shirt I got for you honey

He stabs his phone and secretly cancels the Amazon shirt