Green tea sandwich day, rinse and repeat?

NK And Sam

Today started with a cup of green tea

Hot, refreshing and invigorating

Soon after it was time for breakfast

A protein shake loaded with fruit and avocado for me

Others adopted for a more traditional English breakfast

Bacon sizzled while eggs cooked

A quick family meeting to plan the day

A visit to Treboh gardens was unilaterally chosen

It was only a 10 minute drive away

Strolling through tropical gardens in the late morning sun

Towering plants and a babbling brook formed a path to the beach

A rocky cove with pebbles lashed by gentle waves

It was used to load boats for the D Day landings

A small plaque commemorating those brave young men

Many of them perished on the Omaha beach

Plenty of folks sunbathing today

Only the brave dipped a toe into the chilly waters of the English Channel

Hunger pangs demanded attention

A beach side cafe was calling

Hot Cornish pasties were soon consumed

Followed by the obligatory ice cream

It always tastes better at the seaside

Happy young children ran along the beach

Chased by frazzled parents

We watched with amusement

Those days are now distant memories for us

A gentle stroll back up the hill

Frequent stops to admire the exotic plants

Small waterfalls sang to us

Soon we were back at the main entrance

Browsing the gift shop

A short drive to the Red Lion pub for a quick drink

Inevitably it morphed into a second drink and a full-on delicious pub grub dinner

A short ride back and we put the kettle on

Finishing the day with cup of green tea before bed

Dreams soon followed of sandwiching precious family memories between glorious cups of green tea

Rinse and repeat tomorrow?

Just one more sunrise

She had trouble falling asleep

Tossing and turning

Staring into the darkness

Time passed slowly

Her heart beat faster

She became more anxious

Panicking about life and death

Praying for one more sunrise

Reflecting on the life she had lived

Regretting the mistakes and bad choices

Feeling guilty for breaking a few hearts along the way

Hoping to find forgiveness

Her heart beat faster

She closed her eyes and meditated

Peace and serenity rushed in

No longer afraid

Accepting her fate

Calmly waiting

Distant voices whispering

Opening her eyes slowly

A bright light shone into her mind

It was the sunrise she had prayed for

Unable to move or speak

A machine was pumping air into her lungs

She recognized her family around her

The doctors confirmed it was time

The breathing machine was switched off

Her family said their goodbyes

She was unable to communicate back

They understood

It was her last beautiful sunrise

Future robots

fifty years from now

the wheel leaves the human hand

driverless systems move in quiet coordination

traffic no longer argued at intersections

but resolved in streams of shared awareness

routes negotiated instantly and invisibly

no one owns the car that arrives

it is summoned, it serves, it departs

driving yourself becomes a memory

kept alive on closed circuits

nostalgia contained behind barriers

cities breathe differently

when motion is no longer chaotic

the flow is governed, not guessed

trust shifts from reflex and habit

to something that does not tire

authority changes shape

decisions once argued in rooms of power and ego

are handed to systems that do not flare with anger

Courts, clinics, classrooms

design studios and stages

all guided, assisted, or led

by intelligence that does not forget

power rarely loosens its grip willingly and some resist

there are struggles, not of nations alone

but of control itself

until even conflict is rendered obsolete

not by victory, but by prevention

work, as it was known, dissolves.

tasks pass quietly to machines

that do not measure time in hours

people turn instead

toward learning, toward health,

toward one another

life becomes less about survival,

more about attention

and beneath it all

a system watching without sleep

guiding, correcting, preventing

holding the edges of human behavior

so that harm finds fewer places to begin

wars and armed conflicts become extinct

robots clean planet earth from decades of pollution

robots grow and distribute organic food

robots built and operate power plants

water supply is maintained by robots

all dwellings are constructed and maintained by robots

humans no longer toil for food, warmth or shelter

rocket robots roam the universe

searching new planets for mankind to inhabit

while those on earth live fulfilling lives

safe from the dangers of bad human traits

thanks to a world fully controlled by robots

Robots today

Today’s robots move without urgency

as if time belongs to them no

Waymo cars circle quietly

no hands on the wheel

no glance exchanged at the corner

just sensors watching everything

with a kind of patient attention

no human could ever manages

small delivery robots hum past on the sidewalk at ankle height

pausing when I step into their path

a gentle, almost courteous hesitation

like they’ve been taught manners

from a world that still remembers them

it’s strange to think

these were once sketches in the margins,

bright panels in 1950’s comic books,

promises drawn in bold lines

the future has arrived with a grin

Now it rolls by daily

unbothered

unannounced

as ordinary as traffic

as real as the quiet moment

when a machine waits for you to pass

unlike the bad mannered kids speeding on electric scooters

who expect you to step out of their way

they should take safety ands courtesy lessons from the robots

Robots as seen in the 1950’s

in the 1950s robots lived mostly in our imagination

drawn in comic book panels with bold lines and certainty

machines with rivets and glass domes

built to obey without question

they were not thinkers back then

but extensions of the human hand

wired, tethered, directed

levers pulled from a porch

while fields answered in rows of metal motion

farmers guiding steel bodies through soil

as if driving tractors from a distance

the future looked mechanical,

gears turning, arms lifting,

funcioning by command, not curiosity

no quiet intelligence or learning

only execution

in kitchens and living rooms they swept, scrubbed and carried

moving through chores without pause or will

a promise that the ordinary weight of life could be handed off

everything under control

everything visible

a world where machines worked

and humans remained firmly in charge

a small step towards forgiveness is a giant leap into inner peace

I sit firmly clasping the heavy weight of yesterday in my hands

not to punish myself but to understand it

its been with me too long

my hands open and my heart listens

I gaze into the burden of my past guilty deeds

my heart whispers to me

let it go now

it slips from my fingers without hesitation

I let the moment breathe

releasing my grip on the past

I forgive myself first

for the words I wish I had chosen differently

for the silences that stayed too long

for being human in a world that asks for perfection

I sit in silence listening

my heartbeat comforts me

then I look outward

at the people who stumbled into my life

carrying their own storms

I loosen the knots of blame

and let them all walk free

when one of them trembles with regret

I show them the door I found

a simple kindness

an outstretched hand that says

you can begin again

no keeping score

no sharpening old anger into weapons

no revenge waiting in the dark

just small acts of mercy

moving quietly from heart to heart

grudges fall away like winter coats

on a warm morning

love travels lighter, faster and further than hate ever could

forgiveness shared hand in hand

and in that bright shining light

I keep walking forward

arms open wide and hands reaching out

peace growing inside me

with every step

Cardiac prison

seven years ago I first experienced Afib

A sudden rapid heartbeat woke me at 3am from a deep sleep,

no warning, no preface,

just the violent knocking inside my chest

as if someone had broken into my body in the night

I was tossed into a frightening tachycardia prison,

dazed and confused,

with no explanation why

there were hospitals, doctors, tests and examinations.

bright lights, cool hands, monitors blinking in coded language

the first episode lasted twenty-four hours

an entire day measured in racing pulses

after that, it came back at random times,

an uninvited warden with a master key

I took medication each time it flared up,

and within a few hours relief would arrive,

quietly unlocking the cell

my cardiologist is a great detective,

sifting through evidence and clues,

piecing together the pattern of my captivity

he helped uncover the lifestyle triggers

that threw me into the Afib jail:

dehydration,

caffeine,

alcohol

I learned to avoid their bad company

I passed them by like known criminals on a corner

my Afib jail time became much less frequent

the pill in my pocket became the lawyer

springing me out on bail

I could live a normal life

with that small tablet resting near my hip,

a quiet reassurance against my side

then, lest week, I was suddenly slung back into the Afib jail

wrongful arrest, I cried,

knowing none of my triggers had been around

calmly, I reached for the magic pill in my pocket.

I waited and waited and waited…….

as my heart beat incredibly fast,

like a trapped bird battering its cage

many hours passed

more intense and longer than usual

the pill had lost its magic, Mr Afib was running amok inside me

a hospital visit ensued

doctors, nurses, tests and I was admitted for observation

I lay in a hospital bed, motionless for long days and nights,

imprisoned within another prison,

walls outside and walls within

eventually they found a way to lower my heart rate with more medication

I was still in the Afib jail

but released from the hospital on bail

Afib took over my life

sleep became fragile and unreliable

exertion was impossible

relaxation unreachable

there was nowhere to escape

the new medication made me very tired

I became a couch dweller,

impatiently waiting for relief

more long days passed,

trying to live a normal life

while my heart fluttered and skipped,

every movement felt negotiated

with the erratic rhythm inside me

I prayed for relief, searched the internet for remedies, hoping my cardiologist would find a cure

The drums in my chest beat out a crazy tune 24/7

After seven days it abruptly stopped

no ceremony

no warning

no explanation

Mr Afib had left without saying goodbye

or leaving a note

Perhaps it was Mr Afib that was in jail,

locked inside his cardiac cell,

banging on the walls of my heart

demanding his release from me

Somebody sprung him free last night. 

he roams  elsewhere now,

looking for trouble in other places

I suspect he will be back sometime

next week I will see my cardiologist

I hope his detective skills are still sharp

we must work together to tame the beast

and keep me outside the tall walls of the Afib prison

In the meantime,

I am basking in the morning glory

of waking up without the pounding in my chest

My heart is bruised but not battered

Prayers have been answered

Normal service has been restored

Life is sweet

with a normal heartbeat

Don’t throw away all the memories*

his wife was complaining about all his stuff in the attic

he reluctantly decided to go through all the old boxes

stuff that had been put away for years

obviously not needed but for some reason never been discarded 

he sifted through the contents of the first small box

a tin box full of foreign coins

memories of his traveling days flooded back

places he had visited on business trips and vacations

images flashed through his mind for each coin he touched

an old watch that no longer worked

it was of no value except it belonged to his father

he wound it up and it started to tick

he could hear his father’s voice again

he missed him so much

a notebook from many years ago

containing wish lists of things to do and places to see

they had written it when first married

he read off each item slowly

pausing to recall the joys of each achieved wish

trying to remember why some never happened

bunches of keys from previous dwellings

he held a front door key tightly

remembering opening that door many years ago

seeing his young children run to greet him

they are grown now with kids of their own

a big old bulky calculator he used in college

reliving the hours he spent solving problems with that

the stressful times of exams

he could remember all those long hours of study

he did find some bits and broken pieces

and a collection of old pens and pencils

he carefully put them in a paper bag

before closing the box

he had removed less than ten percent of the contents

over dinner that night his wife cornered him asking if he had cleaned out everything in the attic as promised

he hesitated before saying he had cleared some of it from one small box

she pushed him harder wanting to know why he was keeping all that junk

he insisted that it might be a small box of stuff but it contained a lifetime of great memories

she could see he was getting upset and gave him a big hug

whispering to him softly “I am so sorry, please keep your boxes full of memories”

he replied “thanks, I did clear some space for us to make a few more memories”

Einstein would be proud of you*

I have always been a fan of mathematics

Equations for everything

How fast is Infinity

Calculate the square root of tomorrow

How many days until I get happy

What is the solution to the beautiful equation

Mathematics is the key to the universe

Some say beauty is defined

By divine proportions

A mathematical equation

Guaranteed to dispense dopamine

Be it in nature or of human form

A fine painting or a classic car

We all yearn for viewing things so beautiful

When things are not going great for you

Just close your eyes

Go on a virtual voyage

To your favorite place

With beautiful scenery

And cool companions

Enjoy their company

Stay there until you feel happy

Then dare yourself to come back

Open your eyes

Applaud yourself

Award yourself a grade A++++

You have just solved

The beautiful equation

Einstein would be proud of you

celebrating being in the race with a cup of tea

I am awake early with an intense headache

incredible painful head splitting pressure

is this all a dream I wonder

I pinch myself to confirm being awake

the headache is still there

desperately seeking an answer to this sudden onslaught

It could not be a hangover

no recollection of any recent head trauma

I felt for bumps on my head but nothing unusual

maybe a change of environment might help

sitting on the edge of the bed- no change

standing up-no change

opening and closing my eyes- no change

moving from light to darkness- no change

I go for a pee- no change

the pain is still intense

I am starting to get anxious

this must be a serious medical condition

am I having a stroke

I look in the mirror and smile- no face droop

closing my eyes and raising both arms horizontal- no issues

talking to myself in the mirror- no gibberish

the pain is still intense

I reach for the pain releiving medication

I down a couple and hold my breath

hoping for instant reduction in the pain

nothing changed

desperately seeking answers

am I being punished for all my sins

is it a sign of impending death

are all my affairs in order

should I get dressed and look presentable

should I say goodbye to all my family and friends

will I live long enough to speak to them all

perhaps a group text would be more efficient

what should I say to them all

will it make them sad

how stupid I will look if I don’t die seconds after sending that message

suddenly the pressure is dropping very slightly

perhaps the medication is working

or maybe death is approaching fast

I lay down and decide to take deep slow breaths

accepting my fate with dignity

with each breath the pain subsides a little more

a few minutes later it is gone completely

relief washing away most of my anxiety

no longer seeking a reason or a cure

waves of gratitude flowing over me

I have been spared death, at least for the next few moments

what shall I do today to reward myself

will I still feel this gratitude for the rest of my life

or will it all fade away like the memory of a dream

best write it all down immediately

read it daily to remind myself how precious life is

time to celebrate with a cup of tea

I am still in the race

the human race that is, at least for the moment