The haggis chicks made a dart for freedom towards the open door

Surprising the intruder who stepped back outside

Hamish and Dougle remained primed for attack inside

Their hearts beating faster and their palms sweating

A familiar voice yelled from outside

Are you in there Hamish and Dougle?

Hamish dropped his weapon and replied

Yes Billy its us as he rushed out to greet him

How did you find us out here?

Oh it was easy said Billy I just followed Vinny and his goons

Rumor on the street was that he had you holed up somewhere

When did you get out of Scotland? asked Dougle

Oh they just locked me up for a day to sober up

Then they put me on the next plane out

We are so thrilled to see you said Hamish

But Vinny will start looking for us again

That will not be a problem said Billy

My cousin Andy lives here on the eastern shore

Lets go pay him a visit and see what he can do

In the meantime the haggis chicks had found their freedom in the cornfields

A short drive later they pulled up at Andy’s house

It was on a creek and the yard was full of crab pots and old boats

Andy was very welcoming and listened to all their adventures as the beer flowed

It seems to me that Vinny and his gang have overstepped their mark said Andy

The eastern shore mafia control all the bootlegging in this area

Once I tell them that the NY boys have tried to move in

They will take care of it and Vinny and his gang will no longer bother you

What will they do to Vinny? enquired Hamish

Will they feed him to the animals on a farm here?

Not at all said Andy we shorebillies are much more sophisticated

The eastern shore mafia will produce a video of Vinny’s failed haggis and whisky operation 

It will include interviews from you both to show how he invested in a failed operation

When Vinny comes back next week the locals will be waiting for him

They will show him the video and then offer him a deal he cannot refuse

Either Vinny agrees to pay top price for our own eastern shore bootleg

Or we send the video to his NY crime boss showing how he messed up

Once he takes the deal he will also agree to leave you guys alone

So why don’t you guys hang around here for a couple of weeks 

Take a well deserved vacation and enjoy the eastern shore

While we take care of Vinny

I knew it would turn out OK said Hamish

They settled in for some good old fashioned eastern shore hospitality

Fishing trips and touring the local bars

Long sunny afternoons eating steamed blue crabs

Late nights drinking eastern shore moonshine whisky

Once Andy confirmed that Vinny had been taken care of

Billy decided it was safe now for Hamish and Dougle to return to New York

I have an idea said Hamish