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Stay Cheeky
Author: Ian Hunter
I retired from the energy business in 2014 and started writing poetry. At first I shared my writing with family and friends. Then I set myself a challenge to write a poem every day for a year. After meeting that goal I just kept going and started this blog in 2021. I hope you enjoy reading my poems. Remember happiness is just a state of mind and poetry is great nourishment.
The Aztecs were pretty smart
I try to eat a healthy diet
avoiding fatty foods and sodium
looking for high fibre and lean protein
I have my favorite superfoods
essential for my breakfast shake daily
I make kefir which is a kind of yogurt
its packed with probiotics and keeps your gut healthy
I also put chia seeds in my shake, they are rich in minerals and fibre
science shows chia keeps your heart healthy with antioxidants and omega -3
I do not claim to be a nutritional expert
I certainly did not grow up eating these kinds of foods
I simply became more health conscious as I got older
or perhaps I just fell for the marketing hype of these products
backed up by the wealth of scientific data of course
one might think that these superfoods were a recent discovery
nothing could be further from the truth
Kefir has been around for thousands of years
traces were found in a 4,000 year old tomb in China
chia seeds were the staple diet of the Aztecs
studies have shown they were consumed widely over 5,000 years ago
somewhere along the way chia faded away
only becoming popular again in the 1980’s
one has to look back and be amazed
its incredible that folks back then knew about these superfoods
without scientific data and certainly no marketing campaigns
even more intriguing is who first discovered them at all
kefir grains are living organisms but nobody knows their origin
how did these ancient people know where to find them for fermenting their milk
we think we are all super smart today
but ancient civilizations were pretty smart too
maybe even smarter than most of us today
because they figured things out all by themselves
without Google, Youtube or advertising campaigns
a slow motion foggy time warp
dense fog stealthily crept over the marsh
a thick grey mist blanket wrapped around every tree
stealing away my view of the bay
no morning sunrise spectacle today
we are living in a ground hugging cloud
everything outside is saturated
decorating the spider web with silver beads
his once invisible traps now fully exposed
the spider will go hungry today
the birds stopped singing in protest
the silence is eerie
no watermen on the bay
crab pot harvesting is on hold
until the warming sun burns through the cool fog
there is nothing to do but wait
but the lingering fog is slowing down time
stalling the arrival of the sun
the hands on the clock are hardly moving at all
I am stuck in a slow motion foggy time warp
observations from the passenger seat
I am writing this from the passenger seat of a car
While traveling on the eastern shore of Maryland
So many people drive way too close to the car in front, especially in the rain
Modern cars must not have turn signals fitted
I suppose you have to guess when other drivers are planning to turn or change lanes
Does a red traffic light mean stop your vehicle and pick your nose?
So sad to see trash at the side of every road
Do all those beer cans mean people drink and drive?
Most male drivers on the eastern shore are in a pickup truck
Royal Farm gas stations are taking over the world
Windshield wipers are hypnotic
Uncut grass looks untidy and neglected
I wonder if anybody ever uses those mile markers
Truck drivers give the appearance of being incredibly bored
Most big cars have a single occupant
I have seen at least 12 people driving while holding a phone to their ear
Many abandoned houses have trees growing through them
Did the last occupants plant them before leaving?
This land is so flat, it must be depressing for mountain bikers
Who wakes up one day thinking I am starting a pet cemetery?
Young woman driving with Vietnam Veteran sticker on the back window
Orange colored cars look stupid
Advertising boards are massive
They seem to grow in clumps
Cell towers look menacing
Are we being bombarded by electromagnetic waves?
Farm stand produce looks so inviting
Especially the unmanned ones with an honesty box
So many acres of corn growing
Where does it all end up?
I want to eat corn now
Why do farmers irrigate fields when it’s raining?
We stop next to a car at a traffic light
The man is driving and a woman is in the passenger seat
They are not talking and look bored
A For Sale sign on the passenger window
“Great Condition, Hardly used”
Is he selling the car or his wife?
A quote from Oscar Wilde
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
Wherever you are today, take a few moments to read this 19th century quote a few times over and then listen to those around you. How many of them are genuinely individual people with original and imaginative views?
Does a lazy poet who publishes an Oscar Wilde quote fall into this category or is he just being a Cheeky Monkey?
be there but only if you can afford it
when I was young my main sporting passions were football(aka soccer) and motorsports
I played soccer as a boy and dreamed of being a professional
I never made the grade but played with local amateur teams up to the age of 18
it was relatively inexpensive to watch my team Liverpool play back then
I went to many games and enjoyed the thrills of seeing it live
the stadium was always packed with over 40,000 fans
mostly young boys and working class men
I also attended many motorsports events which were all inexpensive to watch
in my early twenties I built a racing Mini Cooper
spending two seasons competing in national championships
I soon learned that I would never make it as a professional racing driver
I gave up racing to focus more on my career
it was fun though to attend Formula One events and see the pros in action
as the years passed I drifted to watching football and motorsports on TV
although the coverage is excellent its not the same as actually being there
I recently thought about taking a trip to England to see a Liverpool game
the only tickets available for the game were over $400
that’s about 200 times more than I used to pay for a ticket
I was planning to see the Formula One race in Miami this year
Until I discovered that the cheapest available ticket was $1200
that’s more than I spent in a whole season of racing my Mini Cooper back in the 80’s
So sad that these sports have become so corporate
Formula One used to be the ultimate thrill for motorists enthusiasts
Its now the place to be seen for the ultra rich and famous
I bet most of them know nothing about motorsport
they just want to hang out in the VIP hospitality section and hope to be photographed
I feel blessed to have grown up in an era when sporting events were accessible to everybody
Seahorses
I wonder if seahorses see horses
do horses see the sea
I can see seahorses in the sea
but can they see me
I saw dolphins in the bay
playing like children in the street
chasing and leaping with joy
but did they see me
I catch frogs in the swimming pool
they try to escape my net
why do they come back daily
perhaps just to see me
I gaze at majestic trees in the woods
arms spread wide
green leaves soaking up the sun
they smile back at me
I study the clouds
shaped by water and winds
sailing along like viking ships
their crews are staring down on me
I peer into the mirror
searching for my mind’s eye
wanting to find the image of a thought
but nobody looks back at me
How I learned to fly
I used to dread failures
the ultimate embarrassment
something to be forgotten
then I learned to look back along the road I took to failure
identifying what had weighed me down
I challenged myself to give those things up
the next time I took that road
I could fly
the surrender
she stepped into the pool
warm welcoming water
late evening sun shone brightly
after a few laps she floated
weightless drifting dreaming
she waited
troubles melted away
thoughts dissolved
sunset approached
floating
drifting
she waited
darkness crept in
floating in the black silence
thoughts lined up
all demanding attention
all were denied entry
she waited
dismissed thoughts wandered off
looking for another soul
her mind and body at peace
every breath treasured
each heartbeat worshipped
she waited
a loud splash
signaled his arrival
pulling her close
a strong embrace
warm kisses
she surrendered
stranded motorist
Gary was driving home on the outskirts of the city
it was dark muggy late summer evening
his thoughts were lost in the jazz music playing on the radio
he spotted a car stopped ahead with flashers
instinctively slowing he noticed a young woman beside the car
is this a trap or is she genuinely in need of assistance he thought
seeing nobody else in her car he decided to pull over
I hope I don’t regret this he said to himself
as he approached the woman smiled saying thank you sir my engine just died
he smiled back as he flipped open the hood to look at the engine
suddenly he felt something prodding in his back
keep them hands up or I shoot said a mans voice
he turned around slowly to see a masked figure holding a gun
empty your pockets real slow he barked
Gary said please don’t shoot I will give you everything
carefully placing his wallet keys and phone on the floor
a gun waving towards his wrist was the signal for Gary to take off his apple watch
the woman quickly picked up the keys and the wallet
we aint dumb enough to take your tracking devices said the masked thug
before roughly trampling the phone and watch into the pavement
Gary was forced into the back seat of the decoy vehicle
lay down and don’t move or you die here was the order
Gary listened to his BMW engine firing up
the robbers sped away before he dared to sit up
Gary walked back towards the city and found a shady looking bar
ordering a beer as he reached for the money belt under his shirt
keep the change he said handing the bartender a fifty dollar bill
and do me he favor please call me a cab
upon entering his house he went straight to the computer
scanning the event log on his vehicle security system
unauthorized vehicle start- hijacking sequence initiated-doors locked- engine immobilized- police on scene- doors opened- recovery service dispatched
the tow truck pulled up outside followed by a police car
Gary shook hands with the officers saying nice work fellas
that was our third arrest this week said the smiling police officer
the chief asked if you could cruise around west side tomorrow evening
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 