I was very shy when I was young
I dreaded the annual school play
praying I would not be selected for an acting part
I think I was around ten years old
the teachers picked up on my shyness
putting all the other kids into performing roles
one by one everybody had a part to play
there was just me and another shy boy left
we got the part of the pantomime horse
the teacher asked me which end I wanted
I chose the back end
the other boy would be standing and wearing the head
which meant he had to be in control
all I had to do was bend over and grab his waist
no lines to memorize and speak
no place on the stage to walk by or stand
all I had to do was follow his lead
I would not even be seen by the audience
and I would not have to look at them either
it was exactly what I wanted
anonymity with no special role to play
rehearsals were easy for me too
just put my feet into the back legs
bring the costume up over my head
bend over and hold my partners waist
walk when he moved
stop walking when he stopped
I had no nerves on the night of the performance
watching most of the play from back stage
until it was time for us to walk on
we got into the costume with ease
took up our positions like real professionals
got the cue to walk on stage
I grabbed his waist and followed
after a few steps he farted right in my face
it was of those evil smelling farts
I wanted to escape the pungent odor
but that would involve letting go of him
the front half of the horse would walk away
and my face would be exposed to the public
I chose to be gassed rather than show my face on stage
the performance seemed to last an eternity
my partner never owned up to farting in my face
I was too embarrassed to tell anybody
I has taken me over fifty years to reveal this story
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 