
50 million light fairies are dancing
Miniature ballerinas prancing
Spinning and skimming over the bay
Bringing joy and happiness on this day
I can see it so it must be true
Sending a message “many blessings to you”

50 million light fairies are dancing
Miniature ballerinas prancing
Spinning and skimming over the bay
Bringing joy and happiness on this day
I can see it so it must be true
Sending a message “many blessings to you”

Fear is a basic human emotion. It can be instinctive like not wanting to be part of the food chain in the jungle or more societal as in the fear of being rejected by a group or an individual. We love to put labels on everything which has led to a wide range of fears being called phobias. Here are the most common phobias:
Arachnophobia – Fear of spiders
Ophidiophopbia – Fear of snakes
Acrophobia – Fear of heights
Some unusual ones:
Xanthophobia – Fear of the color yellow
Turophobia – Fear of cheese
Coulrophobia – Fear of clowns
Does this mean that people who are afraid of yellow dressed clowns eating cheese are suffering from Xanthoturocoulrophobia?
Let’s assume you have a very unusual phobia like the fear of being given the wrong change in a store on Thursdays when its raining. Your Doctor tells you that there is no name for your phobia but to come back in two weeks while he applies for phobia registration.
However, you really want to share your phobia with friends or new people you meet at a cocktail party. It’s pretty cool to say you have changowetthursphobia but less exciting to say there is no name for it. You are probably wise to avoid meeting anybody until you get your phobia name from your doctor.
It could start a whole new way of finding your ideal partner-
speedphobia dating, matchphobia.com and newphobiabeginnings.
If it’s raining on a wet Thursday, just remember to give the exact amount of money for your in-store purchases.

Kids are very perceptive
They pick up on things
Even when you try and shield them from harm
I remember being in New York on 9/11
My kids were at school in Manhattan
They were teenagers and well informed
It was easy to tell them what was happening
They saw TV images of the towers collapsing
After multiple showings I unplugged the TV
There was no need for them to see it over and over
We discussed what was going on
That was the easy part of parenting
But then came the difficult questions
Why did people deliberately crash planes into buildings
Its hard to answer the why when you do not know yourself
I feel for those with young children today
Trying to make them feel safe
After seeing such graphic violent scenes
From the Capital on Jan 6th
They will naturally want to know why
Any well thought out but slightly lame answer
Will prompt them to ask why again
After three or four whys from them
You will run out of facts to share
Opinions will start to come out
Sharing your opinions shapes the way your kids see the world
They are the citizens of the future
We are simply temporary custodians
Our job is to not to screw it all up for them

summer has peaked
mornings are crisp
heavy dew lingers
waiting to be burned off
but the sun is hungover
from intense summer partying
he sleeps in longer now
rising late from the ocean with a weary yawn
creeping further south each day
making a smaller arc across the sky
depositing less daily energy on these lands
than he did the day before
he is the ultimate snowbird
heading south for the winter
in a few short months
we shall follow him

she watched the wave crash onto the beach
the rolling surf pounded the wet sand
exploding in a spray of white foam
energized water from the wave surged forward
running up the sloping beach
defying gravity until it ran out of steam
reluctantly sliding back down
swallowed up by the angry sea
the beach barely had time to take a breath
before the next wave crashed in
she let her thoughts wander between waves
thinking back to all the bad things she had done
another wave crashed in
regrets for all the poor decisions she had made
another wave crashed in
remorse for all the heartbreaking she had caused
another wave crashed in
wishing she had never rejected the one who really loved her
another wave crashed in
realizing that the affair was the biggest mistake of her life
another wave crashed in
her illicit lover had dumped her
another wave crashed in
she was totally alone now
another wave crashed in
she accepted her punishment
another wave crashed in
sentenced to eternal waves of sorrow
another wave crashed in

Have a strong sense of values
stand up for what is right and clearly identify when something is wrong
be authentic and lead by example
don’t get involved in unscrupulous activities
Help other people
if you feel safe, stop for those in need at the side of the road, don’t wait to be asked
be compassionate to those who ask for help
volunteer for a cause
be a good listener
be charitable
don’t expect something in return
Keep your promises
always deliver and do it well
Earn it
work hard for your paycheck
don’t expect to get something for free
be respectful to others at ALL times
Be honest
always tell the truth when asked
be tactful when the truth will hurt others
Be a mentor
show others the right path to take
be available to answer their questions
give encouragement when due
Nobody is perfect
try to improve on your own flaws
don’t always point the finger at everybody else’s flaws
Do not humiliate others
resist the temptation to mock those who are embarrassed
Be a good loser
shake hands with the person who beats you at sport, in a sale or a competition
be sincere in your congratulations

Kayak glides gracefully
Over still waters
Wandering and exploring
Blending into nature
Stealthy expert paddling
Making no sounds
Swan like grace
Ballerina on water
Still morning beauty
Birdsongs fill air
Kayaker pushes on
Perfect paddling rhythm
Animals are spellbound
Kayaker looks innocuous
Overgrown river bank
Deer cautiously drinking
Kayaker stops paddling
Lifts a bow
Arrow rapidly fired
Deer takes hit
Deer takes flight
Kayaker walks inland
Following blood trail
Drags deer back
Package from kayak
Inflated in seconds
Deer on raft
Towed behind kayak
Blood stains river
Hunter paddles home
Peaceful scenes over
Kayaking ballerina killer

I have never had to diet that much in my lifetime
up to the age of forty, my weight was constant
despite whatever I ate or drank
I developed a love for bread and potatoes
it was a lot of fun for a while
until my weight started to creep up slowly
I took up running to burn off some extra calories
and I briefly cut out bread and potatoes to get my weight back down
then it stayed constant for a long time
well more or less constant
I would always come back from vacations a few pounds heavier
a week of light eating got it back down to ‘normal’
my love affair with bread and potatoes resumed
around the age of fifty, I developed severe knee pain
my doctor told me to give up running completely
so I bought a bike and hit the road
I was soon cycling 100 miles a week
I was burning off a lot of calories from intense cycling
so much that I could eat and drink anything I wanted without weight gain
bread and potatoes became my lovers of choice
I sustained this lifestyle for more than a decade
my bread and potatoes love fair continued
until I got Covid with follow-on complications
never-ending cycles of colds, sinus infections, and bronchitis ensued
I had no energy and impaired breathing for over three months
I fell back on my comfort food of bread and potatoes
they told me not to worry and just eat more of them
it was so bad that I was unable to get on my bike
without regular exercising and my weight crept up
the bread and potatoes consoled me daily
eventually, I got well enough to start cycling again
it took a few months to get back into my cycling routine
I was not happy with my heavier weight
and my cycling performance was well below par
I had a long and serious chat with the bread and potatoes
they were not happy about breaking up our relationship
they cried and cried as I left them unconsumed on my plate
I got hooked on weight loss and my cycling performance improved
I set myself a goal to drop below my pre-covid weight
but my body refused to cooperate and I hit a plateau
the bread and potatoes kept calling me from the pantry
I was somehow able to resist their efforts to lure me back into their arms
it took a sustained effort of dieting and exercise to crawl off that weight plateau
the bread and potatoes keep winking at me
but the celery and peppers are my new lovers
I imagine they have fights over me in the pantry

there is a lot to do at the firehouse between calls
equipment checks, cleaning apparatus, housekeeping and training
we had just finished washing the ambulance when the dispatch radio erupted
“Paramedic 16, chest pains……and the address”
I climb into the driver’s seat and fire up the engine
open the bay doors
flick on the emergency lights
check my partner is belted up before we start rolling, and hit the sirens to warn passing traffic
my partner wrestles with the onboard computer
she verifies the address and confirms the fastest route
I know where to go but there is always some anxiety when responding
will we hit traffic? will we find the location rapidly? where is the best entrance to the building?
my partner reads the dispatch notes on the computer
69-Year-old female, chest pains, breathing normally, sitting in her lounge
we have to cross the city through heavy traffic
sirens blazing, my partner keeps switching the tones to alert drivers that we are behind them
some cooperate and pull over, some don’t see us and block our path, others panic and swerve erratically in front of us
it’s a fine balance driving an emergency vehicle with lights and sirens
we want to avoid delays in getting to the patient but we don’t want to be in our own accident
I stop at every red light and make sure drivers around me know I am creeping through
often drivers cross my path at intersections, oblivious to our presence
how can you not see a big red truck blazoned with flashing lights?
how can you not hear the loud sirens just a few feet away?
well you can miss them easily with modern cars being almost soundproofed
and drivers filling the interior with loud music or checking their cell phone
I weave through the scattering cars
squeezing through gaps just a tiny bit wider than my side mirrors
then we find a break in the traffic and speed on to our destination
my partner yells above the siren “next left and its the third house on the right”
I pull up, turn off the sirens
we always leave the engine running at a call
there are a lot of things to do and we must do them rapidly
fortunately, experience brings an orderly rhythm to what seems like total chaos from the outside
In neutral-check
parking brake on-check
hit “on Location” on the computer-check
zero the trip meter to measure the transport distance-cCheck
surgical gloves on -check
portable radio on -check
my partner has already climbed out and grabbed the monitor from the back
she turns round to yell “ airway bag” in my direction
I acknowledge her and grab the bag following her up the path and through the front door
I pause to scan the room for potential hazards, our personal safety is of prime importance
no sign of weapons, no sign of a struggle, we are cool
an elderly husband stands next to his wife, she is sitting on the couch looking distressed
my partner exudes calmness as she asks questions of both the husband and the wife
she quickly gathers a picture of what has been going on before we arrived
no cardiac history and she was not exerting herself, the pain in her chest is crushing
during the interrogation, I have been firing up the monitor and stuck leads on the patient
a few moments later we capture data on her oxygen levels, her blood pressure and can see her heart rhythm
my partner looks at me and says “stemi”
that is our code for a heart attack, we need to work fast
I run outside and bring the stretcher to the door while my partner helps her walk to the entrance
we quickly load her onto the stretcher, still attached to the monitor
the stretcher is fully automatic, raising and lowering with the touch of a button
I hook it to the arm extending out of the back of the ambulance and lock it in
the wheels lift up and I slide the stretcher inside
this is our office, we can work faster in this cramped space
my partner starts to get a line while I prep the saline flush
I hook up a 12 lead for a full heart monitor and my partner gives the lady aspirin and nitro
I check her blood sugar and give my partner the vials for blood sampling
while doing all this I start to visualize exactly where we are and determine the fastest route to the hospital
my partner glances over at me and her eyes flick toward the cab
this means its time for me to drive to the hospital
I step out the side door and notice the husband in his car behind me, his engine running
“sir, please don’t follow me to the hospital, I will be crossing red lights and I don’t want you to get into an accident”
I climb into the cab, updating the computer that we are en route to the hospital
light and sirens are on as I weave through traffic
I drive as smooth as possible so my partner can work safely in the back
no heavy braking, no fast turns, but a safe fast pace
I turn off the lights and sirens as we pull up at the hospital
update the computer to arrival status-check
read the trip meter to get the transport mileage for the report-check
parking brake on -check
radio on-check
in neutral-check
engine off-check
gloves on-check
portable radio on-check
I walk to the back, open the doors and pull out the stretcher
wheel the patient inside
my partner briefs the ER reception of our patient’s condition, and they assign a room for us
we wheel her down the corridor and transfer her into a bed
my partner gives a concise report to the doctor, he quickly acknowledges and takes over the treatment
we delivered a stabilized patient, our job is done, well almost
we have to sanitize everything and restock
a report must be written documenting everything we did and the patient’s condition
I clean the rig and get all the equipment and supplies ready for the next call
we cannot be short of vital equipment
my partner completes the report and uploads it to the hospital computer
we are ready for the next call and update our status on the computer
I start driving back to the station, no need to rush
we chat about the call, decompressing after forty-five minutes of intense action
we reflect on what went well and what we could have done better
before we reach the station, the radio crackles
we recognize our call tones, stop talking and listen hard
“Paramedic 16.. trouble breathing,… address”
we take the call and update the computer
lights and sirens on
check the location and best route
we are rolling through heavy traffic, and my partner interrogates the dispatch notes on the computer
adrenalin rushes through my veins, I breathe deep, staying calm and in control
we do all this nine times over in a 12-hour shift

Impregnated by aliens
My brother is a vampire
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
Freddie Star ate my hamster
The man with two heads
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
I lived inside a whale
The earth stopped spinning
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
Jesus is on FaceBook
Teach yourself to levitate
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
She ate her husband
Make wine from chicken poop
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
House built in fifteen minutes
Homicide victims speak out
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
Porn star got rear ended
I married a great dane
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
Golf course on a frozen lake
Homelessness eradicated
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
Salad dressing cures cancer
It rained frogs
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
Baby flies to moon and back
Postpone your death indefinitely
It must be true
It was on the BBC news
Pony wins lottery
Trees blamed for global warming
It must be true
It was on the BBC news