Phobias

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Fear is a basic human emotion. It can be instinctive like not wanting to be part of the food chain in the jungle or more societal as in the fear of being rejected by a group or an individual.  We love to put labels on everything which has led to a wide range of fears being called phobias.  Here are the most common phobias:

Arachnophobia – Fear of spiders

Ophidiophopbia –  Fear of snakes

Acrophobia – Fear of heights

Some unusual ones:

Xanthophobia –   Fear of the color yellow

Turophobia – Fear of cheese

Coulrophobia –  Fear of clowns

Does this mean that people who are afraid of yellow dressed clowns eating cheese are suffering from Xanthoturocoulrophobia?

Let’s assume you have a very unusual phobia like the fear of being given the wrong change in a store on Thursdays when its raining. Your Doctor tells you that there is no name for your phobia but to come back in two weeks while he applies for phobia registration.  

However, you really  want to share your phobia with friends or new people you meet at a cocktail party. It’s pretty cool to say you have changowetthursphobia but less exciting to say there is no name for it.   You are probably wise to avoid meeting anybody until you get your phobia name from your doctor.

It could start a whole new way of finding your ideal partner- 

speedphobia dating, matchphobia.com and newphobiabeginnings.  

If it’s raining on a wet Thursday, just remember to give the exact amount of money for your in-store purchases.

temporary custodians

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Kids are very perceptive

They pick up on things

Even when you try and shield them from harm

I remember being in New York on 9/11

My kids were at school in Manhattan 

They were teenagers and well informed

It was easy to tell them what was happening

They saw TV images of the towers collapsing

After multiple showings I unplugged the TV

There was no need for them to see it over and over

We discussed what was going on

That was the easy part of parenting

But then came the difficult questions

Why did people deliberately crash planes into buildings

Its hard to answer the why when you do not know yourself

I feel for those with young children today

Trying to make them feel safe

After seeing such graphic violent scenes

From the Capital on Jan 6th

They will naturally want to know why

Any well thought out but slightly lame answer 

Will prompt them to ask why again

After three or four whys from them

You will run out of facts to share

Opinions will start to come out

Sharing your opinions shapes the way your kids see the world

They are the citizens of the future

We are simply temporary custodians

Our job is to not to screw it all up for them

the ultimate snowbird

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summer has peaked

mornings are crisp

heavy dew lingers

waiting to be burned off

but the sun is hungover

from intense summer partying

he sleeps in longer now

rising late from the ocean with a weary yawn

creeping further south each day

making a smaller arc across the sky

depositing less daily energy on these lands

than he did the day before

he is the ultimate snowbird

heading south for the winter

in a few short months

we shall follow him 

another wave crashed in

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she watched the wave crash onto the beach

the rolling surf pounded the wet sand

exploding in a spray of white foam

energized water from the wave surged forward

running up the sloping beach

defying gravity until it ran out of steam

reluctantly sliding back down

swallowed up by the angry sea

the beach barely had time to take a breath

before the next wave crashed in

she let her thoughts wander between waves

thinking back to all the bad things she had done

another wave crashed in

regrets for all the poor decisions she had made

another wave crashed in

remorse for all the heartbreaking she had caused

another wave crashed in

wishing she had never rejected the one who really loved her

another wave crashed in

realizing that the affair was the biggest mistake of her life

another wave crashed in

her illicit lover had dumped her

another wave crashed in

she was totally alone now

another wave crashed in

she accepted her punishment

another wave crashed in

sentenced to eternal waves of sorrow

another wave crashed in

A guide to being honorable in the chaos of today’s world

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Have a strong sense of values

stand up for what is right and clearly identify when something is wrong

be authentic and lead by example

don’t get involved in unscrupulous activities

Help other people

if you feel safe, stop for those in need at the side of the road, don’t wait to be asked

be compassionate to those who ask for help

volunteer for a cause 

be a good listener

be charitable

don’t expect something in return

Keep your promises

always deliver and do it well

Earn it

work hard for your paycheck

don’t expect to get something for free

be respectful to others at ALL times 

Be honest

always tell the truth when asked

be tactful when the truth will hurt others

Be a mentor

show others the right path to take

be available to answer their questions

    give encouragement when due

Nobody is perfect

try to improve on your own flaws 

don’t always point the finger at everybody else’s flaws

Do not humiliate others

resist the temptation to mock those who are embarrassed

Be a good loser

shake hands with the person who beats you at sport, in a sale or a competition

be sincere in your congratulations

kayaker with a purpose

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Kayak glides gracefully

Over still waters

Wandering and exploring

Blending into nature

Stealthy expert paddling 

Making no sounds

Swan like grace

Ballerina on water

Still morning beauty

Birdsongs fill air

Kayaker pushes on

Perfect paddling rhythm

Animals are spellbound

Kayaker looks innocuous

Overgrown river bank

Deer cautiously drinking

Kayaker stops paddling

Lifts a bow

Arrow rapidly fired

Deer takes hit

Deer takes flight 

Kayaker walks inland

Following blood trail

Drags deer back

Package from kayak

Inflated in seconds

Deer on raft

Towed behind kayak

Blood stains river

Hunter paddles home

Peaceful scenes over

Kayaking ballerina killer

Fights in the pantry over me

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I have never had to diet that much in my lifetime

up to the age of forty, my weight was constant

despite whatever I ate or drank

I developed a love for bread and potatoes

it was a lot of fun for a while

until my weight started to creep up slowly

I took up running to burn off some extra calories

and I briefly cut out bread and potatoes to get my weight back down

then it stayed constant for a long time

well more or less constant

I would always come back from vacations a few pounds heavier

a week of light eating got it back down to ‘normal’

my love affair with bread and potatoes resumed

around the age of fifty, I developed severe knee pain

my doctor told me to give up running completely

so I bought a bike and hit the road

I was soon cycling 100 miles a week

I was burning off a lot of calories from intense cycling

so much that I could eat and drink anything I wanted without weight gain

bread and potatoes became my lovers of choice

I sustained this lifestyle for more than a decade 

my bread and potatoes love fair continued 

until I got Covid with follow-on complications

never-ending cycles of colds, sinus infections, and bronchitis ensued

I had no energy and impaired breathing for over three months

I fell back on my comfort food of bread and potatoes

they told me not to worry and just eat more of them

it was so bad that I was unable to get on my bike

without regular exercising and my weight crept up 

the bread and potatoes consoled me daily

eventually, I got well enough to start cycling again

it took a few months to get back into my cycling routine

I was not happy with my heavier weight

and my cycling performance was well below par

I had a long and serious chat with the bread and potatoes

they were not happy about breaking up our relationship

they cried and cried as I left them unconsumed on my plate

I got hooked on weight loss and my cycling performance improved

I set myself a goal to drop below my pre-covid weight

but my body refused to cooperate and I hit a plateau

the bread and potatoes kept calling me from the pantry

I was somehow able to resist their efforts to lure me back into their arms

it took a sustained effort of dieting and exercise to crawl off that weight plateau

the bread and potatoes keep winking at me

but the celery and peppers are my new lovers

I imagine they have fights over me in the pantry

Diary of a first responder

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there is a lot to do at the firehouse between calls

equipment checks, cleaning apparatus, housekeeping and training

we had just finished washing the ambulance when the dispatch radio erupted

“Paramedic 16, chest pains……and the address”

I climb into the driver’s seat and fire up the engine

open the bay doors

flick on the emergency lights

check my partner is belted up before we start rolling, and hit the sirens to warn passing traffic

my partner wrestles with the onboard computer

she verifies the address and confirms the fastest route

I know where to go but there is always some anxiety when responding

will we hit traffic? will we find the location rapidly? where is the best entrance to the building?

my partner reads the dispatch notes on the computer

69-Year-old female, chest pains, breathing normally, sitting in her lounge

we have to cross the city through heavy traffic

sirens blazing, my partner keeps switching the tones to alert drivers that we are behind them

some cooperate and pull over, some don’t see us and block our path, others panic and swerve erratically in front of us

it’s a fine balance driving an emergency vehicle with lights and sirens

we want to avoid delays in getting to the patient but we don’t want to be in our own accident

I stop at every red light and make sure drivers around me know I am creeping through

often drivers cross my path at intersections, oblivious to our presence

how can you not see a big red truck blazoned with flashing lights?

how can you not hear the loud sirens just a few feet away?

well you can miss them easily with modern cars being almost soundproofed

and drivers filling the interior with loud music or checking their cell phone

I weave through the scattering cars

squeezing through gaps just a tiny bit wider than my side mirrors

then we find a break in the traffic and speed on to our destination

my partner yells above the siren “next left and its the third house on the right”

I pull up, turn off the sirens

we always leave the engine running at a call

there are a lot of things to do and we must do them rapidly

fortunately, experience brings an orderly rhythm to what seems like total chaos from the outside

In neutral-check

parking brake on-check

hit “on Location” on the computer-check

zero the trip meter to measure the transport distance-cCheck

surgical gloves on -check

portable radio on -check

my partner has already climbed out and grabbed the monitor from the back

she turns round to yell “ airway bag” in my direction

I acknowledge her and grab the bag following her up the path and through the front door

I pause to scan the room for potential hazards, our personal safety is of prime importance

no sign of weapons, no sign of a struggle, we are cool

an elderly husband stands next to his wife, she is sitting on the couch looking distressed

my partner exudes calmness as she asks questions of both the husband and the wife

she quickly gathers a picture of what has been going on before we arrived

no cardiac history and she was not exerting herself, the pain in her chest is crushing

during the interrogation, I have been firing up the monitor and stuck leads on the patient

a few moments later we capture data on her oxygen levels, her blood pressure and can see her heart rhythm

my partner looks at me and says “stemi”

that is our code for a heart attack, we need to work fast

I run outside and bring the stretcher to the door while my partner helps her walk to the entrance

we quickly load her onto the stretcher, still attached to the monitor

the stretcher is fully automatic, raising and lowering with the touch of a button

I hook it to the arm extending out of the back of the ambulance and lock it in

the wheels lift up and I slide the stretcher inside

this is our office, we can work faster in this cramped space

my partner starts to get a line while I prep the saline flush

I hook up a 12 lead for a full heart monitor and my partner gives the lady aspirin and nitro

I check her blood sugar and give my partner the vials for blood sampling

while doing all this I start to visualize exactly where we are and determine the fastest route to the hospital

my partner glances over at me and her eyes flick toward the cab

this means its time for me to drive to the hospital

I step out the side door and notice the husband in his car behind me, his engine running

“sir, please don’t follow me to the hospital, I will be crossing red lights and I don’t want you to get into an accident”

I climb into the cab, updating the computer that we are en route to the hospital

light and sirens are on as I weave through traffic

I drive as smooth as possible so my partner can work safely in the back

no heavy braking, no fast turns, but a safe fast pace

I turn off the lights and sirens as we pull up at the hospital

update the computer to arrival status-check

read the trip meter to get the transport mileage for the report-check

parking brake on -check

radio on-check

in neutral-check

engine off-check

gloves on-check

portable radio on-check

I walk to the back, open the doors and pull out the stretcher

wheel the patient inside

my partner briefs the ER reception of our patient’s condition, and they assign a room for us

we wheel her down the corridor and transfer her into a bed

my partner gives a concise report to the doctor, he quickly acknowledges and takes over the treatment

we delivered a stabilized patient, our job is done, well almost

we have to sanitize everything and restock 

a report must be written documenting everything we did and the patient’s condition

I clean the rig and get all the equipment and supplies ready for the next call

we cannot be short of vital equipment 

my partner completes the report and uploads it to the hospital computer

we are ready for the next call and update our status on the computer

I start driving back to the station, no need to rush

we chat about the call, decompressing after forty-five minutes of intense action

we reflect on what went well and what we could have done better

before we reach the station, the radio crackles

we recognize our call tones, stop talking and listen hard

“Paramedic 16.. trouble breathing,… address”

we take the call and update the computer

lights and sirens on

check the location and best route

we are rolling through heavy traffic, and my partner interrogates the dispatch notes on the computer

adrenalin rushes through my veins, I breathe deep, staying calm and in control

we do all this nine times over in a 12-hour shift

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