I went to the dentist yesterday for a cleaning and checkup

always a nervous experience

will they find something wrong with my teeth

could it be a long and uncomfortable procedure

it was even scarier during Covid

having to wait outside in the car

being summoned by phone and shuffling in masked up

all the staff in spacesuits and helmets back then

they looked like aliens

but yesterday was a pleasant surprise

Covid restrictions were lifted so no masking for me

the staff we no longer in spacesuits 

my hygienist, Stacy came out to fetch me from the waiting area

it was nice to see her pretty face again

well most of it because she wore a surgical mask

she made me at ease and I was soon staring at the ceiling

she chatted away during the cleaning

I grunted back with my mouth full of dental tools and suction hoses

the chair was almost horizontal and my gaze fixed on the ceiling

something was not right

the drop ceiling had a panel open for lighting 

2 rows of fluorescent tubes behind a grill

they had been installed at a slight angle, not parallel to the ceiling tiles

it started to annoy me intensely, I could not stop staring at it

what kind of contractor would put in crooked lighting

in an office full of high tech Xray machines and expensive monitors

Stacy finished my cleaning and the dentist came in to examine me

everything looks fine he said, do you have any issues

just one I replied, those lights above are not installed properly

Stacy started to laugh, all my male patients point that out

then it hit me, this was no contractor error

dental psychologists ordered those wonky lights as a distraction

to keep your mind off thoughts of discomfort during procedures

it certainly worked for me so well done Mr dental psychologist 

but this now begs the question, why does it only bother the male patients

I wonder what women think of while staring at the ceiling