I woke up this morning with plans to complete some DIY

having ordered the materials yesterday online it was going a short drive to the local store to pick them up

I pulled up my emails to look up the order number

shocked to find a cancellation email because the items were out of stock

I found replacements from another store 6 miles away

that might not seem a long drive but in Miami traffic it can take forever

I set off at 11am hoping to beat the morning rush hour

it was bumper to bumper all the way with aggressive impatient drivers all around me

Apparently every waking Miamian was on the road in these last few days before the Christmas holiday

eventually I reached the store but the parking lot was a total zoo

cars were circling to pounce on any opening spot to park

others parked in unmarked spaces making it almost impossible to maneuver round them

eventually I found a spot at the far end which left me a long walk to the store

I felt like a matador at the bullfight as cars charged towards me searching for their parking spots

I had to jump out of the way or be gored by a beat up pickup truck

no cheers from the crowds for my brisk matador moves

eventually I made my way inside only to find a huge line to pick up my order

it would have been quicker for me to pick it all off the shelves myself and do the self checkout

the line moved so slowly I felt much older by the time I got to the front

I decided to carry my stuff as opposed to pushing it in a cart

matadors do not take carts to the bullfight

the bulls seemed more intent on chasing me when they saw my arms full of packages

my nimble feet kept me away from instant death and I eventually got to my car unscathed

the ride home was even worse with accidents causing backups and long delays

slow crawling and flaring tempers led to a battle of the horn blowers

I wondered if the horn blowers were just letting off steam or did they really think it would speed up the car in front

it soon went viral with everybody honking so I just had to join in and honk away

all we missed was a conductor to direct who honks in sequence to produce Mozart’s Jagd Symphony

I eventually got home very tried, hungry and stone deaf

my DIY shelving project became totally shelved in place of lunch

my shelves were shelved again as I decided to take a walk in the park by the marina

it was odd to see people walking as opposed to being inside their wheeled boxes on the road

nobody honked or try to run me down and people actually smiled at me

a stark contrast to the events earlier in the day just a few miles away

I stopped by the place where the manatees hang out and sure enough a couple were there

I met two other manatee fans peering over the railings at these beautiful creatures

they seem to exude peace, calm and tranquility which is transferred to onlookers

my morning stress had evaporated into a distant memory

I fantasized about teaching manatees to drive cars

have them patrol the busiest streets to slow everybody down

motorists would calm down and smile at each other

everybody would wave to the manatees and feel totally relaxed

pedestrians would no longer feel like prey being hunted down by vehicles

conductors for car horn blowers classical music productions would become unemployed

I walked back home through the park with my faith in humanity restored

opting to tackle that DIY project with vigor as I tore open the boxes

only to find they had given me the wrong items

time to do battle again in the Miami traffic and return to the store

I stared at the empty passenger seat while waiting for the traffic to move

no passenger to keep me company and sadly no manatee to keep me sane on this mad journey