Just before she left for the day

My wife gave me some advice

Try to be more romantic

So after a lot of reflection

I decided my life did indeed need more romance

I put a plan in action

I lovingly washed our bed linen

I caressed each dish from the dishwasher

I took the trash for a long romantic walk

I whispered sweet nothings to my laptop

I read a poem to my breakfast porridge 

I told my cup of tea she was really hot

I bought an expensive gift for my bicycle

I treated myself to delicious chocolates

I wrote the shopping list with red lipstick

I blew kisses into the mirror while shaving

I took an extra long shower

I made my underwear beg to be worn

I drove my sexy car to the store

I held the wheel really tight

I smiled at other drivers in traffic

I paused to look at every item in the store

I filled my shopping cart with love

I gently placed my groceries on the checkout belt

I thanked my car for waiting for me

I listened to  slow music all the way home

I carried the grocery bags over the threshold 

I sensually spread the tuna salad on my bread

I ate lunch very very  slowly

I listened attentively to every word spoken by the radio

My wife burst in and told me her day was a total disaster

She asked my how my day had been

I paused before saying “uneventful”