Hamish scanned all the channels on the TV

Then he went into all the settings

He explained what he was doing to Dougle

If Vinny was dumb enough to give us a smart TV

We can use the internet to send emails and get rescued

His hopes were dashed after a few minutes

It was indeed a smart TV but only had Satellite TV

There was no internet bundled and no way to add it

Vinny is not so dumb after all said Dougle

I have another plan said Hamish

Lets take shifts to watch the TV and scan all the channels

There is bound to be one that shows how to make bootleg whisky

They set about watching TV while the haggis chicks ran around pecking 

Sure enough after a couple of days they stumbled on Moonshiners

It gave them enough information on how to start a mash

They played around with the equipment and started the process

I have no idea how to distill this lumpy mess said Hamish

But we will bluff our way through it to fool Vinny

Vinny and his gang returned exactly a week later

Hamish and Dougle put on a convincing show

Taking temperatures and stirring the mash as if they were experts

Meanwhile the other two haggis chicks and hatched 

With four chicks running around it seemed to calm Vinny 

After unloading fresh supplies the gang locked them inside again

The charade continued for another three weeks

Although the haggis chicks were growing well

They would not mature for egg laying for another three months

They had been locked up for five weeks now

Vinny insisted they produce a first batch of moonshine by his next visit

As the gang locked the door Dougle became despondent 

All we are doing with this still is making steam

We will be sunk to the bottom of the Hudson next week

Hamish remained optimistic that they would escape somehow

A few hours after Vinny and his gang left they could here noises outside

Somebody was outside rattling the chain locking the door 

Lets shout for help whispered Dougle

No whispered Hamish we might scare them away they are burglars

Lets stay quiet while they break in and take it from there

They stood either side of the door with a pipe and a wrench for weapons

The chain was cut and soon the door slowly slid open

Bright sunlight burst into the dark smelly chicken house

A large foot stepped into the open doorway from outside

Hamish raised his pipe weapon high ready to fell the intruder