I was very shy when I was young

I dreaded the annual school play

praying I would not be selected for an acting part

I think I was around ten years old

the teachers picked up on my shyness

putting all the other kids into performing roles

one by one everybody had a part to play

there was just me and another shy boy left

we got the part of the pantomime horse

the teacher asked me which end I wanted

I chose the back end

the other boy would be standing and wearing the head

which meant he had to be in control

all I had to do was bend over and grab his waist

no lines to memorize and speak

no place on the stage to walk by or stand

all I had to do was follow his lead

I would not even be seen by the audience

and I would not have to look at them either

it was exactly what I wanted

anonymity with no special role to play

rehearsals were easy for me too

just put my feet into the back legs

bring the costume up over my head

bend over and hold my partners waist

walk when he moved

stop walking when he stopped

I had no nerves on the night of the performance

watching most of the play from back stage

until it was time for us to walk on

we got into the costume with ease

took up our positions like real professionals

got the cue to walk on stage

I grabbed his waist and followed

after a few steps he farted right in my face

it was of those evil smelling farts

I wanted to escape the pungent odor

but that would involve letting go of him

the front half of the horse would walk away

and my face would be exposed to the public

I chose to be gassed rather than show my face on stage

the performance seemed to last an eternity

my partner never owned up to farting in my face

I was too embarrassed to tell anybody

I has taken me over fifty years to reveal this story