Month: November 2021

the time capsule

Ian Hunter3 Comments

She went to the mailbox

Lots of junk mail

A few bills

And a small brown parcel

She went back inside

Tossed the mail aside

Held up the parcel

Recognizing the senders address

It was where she grew up

More than fifty years ago

Not been back there

For many decades

Inside there was a note

We thought you would want this

Recently discovered time capsule

Placed when your house was built

Uncovered during reconstruction

It took a while to locate you

We managed to track you down

And send this to you

Alongside the note

Was an old faded photograph

Of her as a baby

In her parents arms

There was also a key

And a business card

From a city bank

With numbers on the back

She went to the bank

They took her to a vault

Opened a safety deposit box

She looked inside and cried

The ophthalmologist 

Ian Hunter5 Comments

Hector was an ophthalmologist

he enjoyed his work

helping people to discover their vision health

picking up problems early

making sure they had the right corrective glasses

coaching those who opted for contacts

every day was the same routine

seeing patients and making recommendations

but the range of patients made it worthwhile

he never knew exactly what the next patient would bring

one chilly morning in January a young lady came in

her name was Amanda and she seemed nice

they chatted as he tested her vision

what is better, A or B he asked

she chose B and he continued

then he had to look at the back of her eye

expecting to see blood vessels but he was stunned

he saw a moving image like a movie

he decided not to respond immediately

asking her to relax and tell him what she was seeing

she said she could see a bright light but behind it was a group of angels

they were calling her to come follow them

he could see the angels in her eyes, they were beautiful and singing

she went into cardiac arrest and stopped breathing

he yelled at his assistant to call 911

he performed CPR on Amanda

the first responders arrived fast

they took over CPR and connected electrodes to her chest

After twenty minutes or so they stopped and pronounced her dead

Hector watched all this in shock

Amanda was there lifeless but seemingly in peace

Hector remembered that his eye exams were all recorded

so they could make sure his diagnosis was correct

after the first responders left and Amanda was taken away

he rewound the recording of her visit

the playback was blank

he went into her patient file records

she had nothing on file

he looked at his calendar for that day

no Amanda appointment

he did not understand what was happening

he thought he could hear the same angels singing

then his own vision went blank

Not my circus not my monkeys

Ian Hunter2 Comments

his friend was a real drama queen

she always had some desperate problem to solve

a pending crisis was invariably looming in her life

he spent most of his time rescuing her

helping her escape from bad relationships

lending her money when she was broke

sobering her up when she came around drunk

consoling her when she was crying and upset

giving her advice on her work problems

telling her how to deal with her crazy brother

there were no end to her issues

but he just kept dealing with her drama

one day she asked to meet up

said she would love to have dinner 

he suggested he cooked for them both

she agreed to come over to his place at 7

he prepared a delicious meal

set the table and waited

he waited and waited and waited

she was not answering his calls or texts

she eventually showed up after 10pm

he had to pay the cab and help her walk to the door

she was drunk and could hardly stand

telling him she had a big row with her boyfriend

he had dumped her via text and she was upset

so she had spent three hours trying to call him

but she was hungry now

he served dinner as she rambled away

complaining about her life

her lack of facebook likes

jealous of her instagram friends lives

she was considering dating a random guy

just to make her boyfriend jealous

she asked him what he could do to help her

he took a deep breath

looked her straight in the eyes and said

not my circus not my monkeys

he called an Uber to take her home

she protested as he put her in the car

his phone never stopped ringing

sending her a final text

NOT MY CIRCUS NOT MY MONKEYS

then he blocked her number

Birthday wish

Ian Hunter3 Comments

it was his twelfth birthday

his parents threw a party

family and friends attended

there was food a plenty

he opened his presents

party games followed 

music and dancing

lots of laughter and fun

tit was time for the birthday cake

candles spelled out his age

everybody gathered around

as the candles were lit

the happy birthday song

was sung by all

he looked around the room

young smiling faces lit up by candle light

it was time to make his birthday wish

he closed his eyes tightly

I am tired of being a boy he thought

I wish I was a fully grown man

he blew out the candles

cheers rang out

he held his eyes closed longer

repeating his wish to himself

as he opened his eyes

the candles were still smoking

but the numbers had changed

it now said forty two

he looked around the room

all his young friends were gone

older faces he did not know

this was not a dream

he saw a boy across the room

who looked exactly like himself

the boy hugged him and said

happy birthday dad

Isle of Man weather forecasting

Ian Hunter2 Comments

sitting in the Irish Sea

the Isle of Man

a ferry ride from Liverpool

famous for motorcycle TT races

around the island twisty roads

lots of accidents and deaths

but the TT racers still race

and the spectators still flock

residents are known as Manxmen

they speak in ancient Manx tongue

a Gaelic language that almost died out

recently revived and taught in schools

Manx cats have no tails

Manxmen have many tales to tell

of their triskelion coat of arms

the island is sometimes visible from the UK mainland

they say if you cannot see the Isle of Man then its raining

if you can see the Isle of Man then its going to rain soon

Inspiration

Ian Hunter3 Comments

Listening to the Beatles today

She came in through the bathroom window

Written by Lennon-McCartney

Wondering what inspired that song

A quick internet search revealed all

Fans hung outside the home of McCartney

Saw his bathroom window open

Found a ladder and climbed in

Stole some memorabilia

So now you know

What events would inspire you to write a song today

Does the title have that number one hit potential

Here are my song titles

I cut myself shaving

My socks went AWOL again

My tea went cold

Its too cold for bike riding 

What shall I write in my poem today

 Oh dear I am running late again

Where are my car keys

The car is full of Amazon return packages

The guy in front is a really bad driver

This red light takes forever to change

Finally back home again

I need a drink

Red red wine

Have a drink on me

Whiskey in the jar

Plagiarism rules

madam palindrome

Ian Hunter1 Comment

temperature drops

fun stops

leaves falling

winter calling

wind howling

walkers scowling

fingers numb

cold bum

reaching home

madam palindrome

fireplace burning

stomach churning

warming hands

making plans

cocktail making

stirring shaking

old fashioned

wickedly impassioned 

cutting cheese

bees knees

garlic crackers

appetite highjackers

fireside drinking

wistful thinking

friends departed

feeling downhearted 

watching flames

recalling names

memory lane

grieving pain

doorbell ring

voices sing

friends arrive

feeling alive

laughter abounds

sweet sounds

drinks flowing

happiness growing

stopped forsaking

memories making

disturbing the peace is an offense

Ian Hunter1 Comment

we are fortunate to live in a waterfront development 

with spectacular sunrises and sunsets

the peaceful movement of the water

seeing nature at her best

birds flock, fish jump, snakes slither, raccoons frolic and deer prance

it is delightful to sit outside and soak up the view

marvel at the trees and the marsh grasses

tasting the salt air and being totally submerged in the peace and tranquility

and then it starts

that annoying whirring engine with a big fan

they often come in a group

like swarming bees

they come in waves often early in the morning

on random days

there is no escape

even indoors the noise is bad

what is the purpose of all this disturbance

they are the landscaping leaf blowers

gone are the days of silent raking

did somebody outlaw the use of rakes

is it now compulsory to move leaves with a noisy blower

how inconsiderate to design such a noisy machine

even more inconsiderate to use one

just to blow some leaves around

why not let the fallen leaves be

let nature take care of them

or just pick up a broom and sweep the driveway instead

Shifting paradigm

Ian Hunter1 Comment

Full moon

Romantic swoon

Starry skies

Starry eyes

Holding hands

Making plans

Wine flowing

Expectations growing

Evening bliss

Romantic kiss

Anticipating more

Bedroom door

Next morning

Constant yawning

She sleeping

Him tweeting

Loud snoring

Very boring

Nudging awake

No heartache

Alcoholic breath

Relationship death

She leaving

No grieving

Romance gone

Television on

Football time

Shifting Paradigm 

What dishwashing planet are you from?

Ian Hunter5 Comments

my wife and I are from different planets

different dishwashing planets

she is from planet dishwashing America

I am from planet dishwashing England

planet dishwashing England does not use much hot water at all

we fill only one bowl with hot water and add detergent

every dish and spoon gets washed there

whether its a small dinner party or 398 plates

it all goes through that solitary bowl of soapy water

which gets progressively more greasy

then it gets laid out for drying

no rinsing required at all

the dishes just lie there covered in soapy bubbles 

then they are dried using an ancient but very sentimental dishwashing towel

…………………………

planet dishwashing America has a different approach

before even starting to wash the dishes

the hot water is run for two years

just to be sure its really scalding hot

then the bowl is filled with hot water and detergent

each dish, cup or fork is washed individually

meticulously over and over until its sparkling

the hot water is kept running down the sink at full tilt

when a dish is deemed to be washed clean of grease and grime

it is held under the hot water stream for rinsing

this can take up to an hour per item

until every micro bubble of detergent is rinsed off

the bowl of soapy water is replenished every three seconds

756 million gallons of hot water later,  the planet America dishwashing is complete

everything is air dried for at least four days to be sure they are really dry

……………………………..

we take turns washing the dishes

when she washes, I put the sparking dishes away

they are always clean crisp and totally dry

I never complain or find an issue

when I wash the dishes its a different story

she has X ray sensors that can detect greasy marks from four light years away

without even looking she can condemn a whole load as unclean

………………………………………………..

its such an extraordinary talent, she has been recruited by the CIA

hunting down terrorists in far away places

they tell her to focus intensely

showing her a map of the world

describing in detail a meal enjoyed by distant bad guys

who have very bad planet terrorist dishwashing skills

she listens to the description of their meal

then she puts a pin in the map

locating their badly washed dishes

curtains for the planet terrorist dishwashers

I feel safe now

but my planet England dishes still get rewashed every time