my first job was in shipbuilding 

on the banks of the river Mersey near Liverpool

they employed thousands of workers

all with different skills organized into trades

they ranged from highly skilled technicians

to unskilled laborers who basically carried stuff

workers were grouped in teams 

assigned to stay with a build until completion

it was fascinating to witness a ship being built

large sections welded together on the slipway

the empty hull being launched into the river

machinery installed while floating in a basin

I was put with a team of ten guys

they had a small hut for tea breaks and lunch

a place to shelter from the raw winter

they told outrageous tales and made fun of everybody

one guy in the hut was nicknamed the vicar

not because he was particularly religious

a satirical reflection of his devotion to thievery alcohol and porn

the vicar never failed to put a swearword in every sentence

the vicar was addicted to stealing from the shipyard

one day producing a block of wood

lignum vitae which was used to make shaft bearings

the vicar announced he was making a model f***ing boat 

after many weeks of carving it was time to sail it

a perfect replica of an old sailing ship

we all gathered with excited anticipation

the vicar lowered his beautifully carved model into the water

it sank straight away 

to howls of laughter

the vicar swore a thousand different curses  

all the other guys knew that lignum vitae does not float