entering my
metal box
push button
move lever
press pedal
turn wheel
go fast
watch world
flashing by
see bird
soaring along
pretty bird
flying low
big bang
sudden stop
big tree
steam rising
metal box
all bent
push button
move lever
press pedal
nothing happens
engine thing
is broken
swear words
abandon my
metal box
swear words
walk home
swear words
blame bird
swear words
Things happen when you least expect them
You are happily driving down the road
Listening to your favorite music
Laughing and joking with your wife
When you notice blue flashing lights behind you
A heart stopping moment
You pull over to the side
She says you drank too much at dinner
You tell her to stay quiet
Winding down the window and hands on the wheel
The state trooper approaches
You were doing 45 in a 30
You decide not to argue and just say sorry
License and registration please
He takes the documents back to his patrol car
She says he is going to do a sobriety test on you
You politely ask her to stay quiet
The officer returns moments later
Thrusting your documents towards you
Next time slow down he yells
As he races back to his patrol car
Then speeds off lights and sirens blazing
That was a stroke of luck you say
He must have been called away on something more important
She just rolls her eyes
You take a deep breath
Continue driving home but without the music
Dark unlit roads and it starts to rain
She says promise me you will drink less at dinner
Yes dear you answer without sincerity
That was not luck you think to yourself
It was just mean to be
As you take a tight turn
A deer runs in front of you
You swerve but still smash into the deer
The car spins off the road
Sliding into a ditch
Nobody is hurt but the car is stuck
Still think you are lucky? she says sarcastically
You drive too fast when you have been drinking
Soon after you see flashing lights approaching
The cheese just slid off your cracker
Sometimes you can tell its going to be one of those days
I got up early as usual to write
but my cordless computer keyboard was dead
no problem just plug it in to recharge
then I went to open up my word processing application
horror of horrors the icon to start the program was gone
thrown into a panic that all my files were missing too
a frantic search showed them all to be intact
I decided to do what all computer experts advise
a reboot solves almost every problem in the digital world
making tea while the computer strips itself naked
I think it prefers to get dressed unseen
tea in hand its time to start writing again
there is still no icon for word processing
is somebody playing digital tricks on me
perhaps a conspiracy to stop me from writing anything
did my last poem upset somebody so bad that they hacked my computer
I always thought conspiracy theories were ridiculous
but when things go really weird on you they suddenly became plausible
logic tells me all will be ok if I google a solution for the missing icon
safari then announces there is no internet connection
drinking a second cup of tea while the wifi router reboots
willing that last blinking light to come on
best to walk away and let the router get dressed unseen too
at last the internet is back up and running again
I picked out a you tube video to learn the solution
a knowitall teenager with terrible acne tells me how to restore the missing icon
what a sad life he must lead squeezing pimples and teaching old farts he never meets
a few clicks and the missing icon is back in place
normal service has been restored thanks to a pimply faced teenager
no stolen icon – the little bugger was just playing hide and seek
conspiracy theories are all part of a big conspiracy to spread unnecessary fear and panic
Sometimes things do not go as planned
The unexpected turns up
Or somebody lets you down
Its OK to be annoyed
But not for long
You have to move on
Find a way to fix it
Before it consumes you
Nil bastardo carborundum
That is urban Latin
Look it up
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 