they say that boaters only have two happy days

the day of purchase and the day the boat is sold

in between its just something that makes a big hole in the water

and an even larger hole in your wallet

some say that BOAT is not really a word

its an acronym for Bring Over Another Thousand

maybe its best never to own a boat at all

just make friends with somebody who owns one

I have been a boat owner for almost a decade

never daring to dwell on the negative aspects of boating

towing kids on a tube is a blast

anchoring up for a sunset cocktail is divine

when the weather is nice boating is pure fun

smooth rides in gentle swells are such a pleasure

swimming off the back or maybe drift and fish for your dinner

then cruise to a dockside restaurant to eat professionally caught fish

getting the propellor mangled in a submerged crab pot was a pain

hours spent tracing electrical faults were frustrating

having to get towed home with a jammed starter was costly and embarrassing

nobody really enjoys scrubbing and waxing an aging boat for three full days

strong winds make boating a total farce

who wants to be buffeted and bounced constantly while underway

maneuvering becomes the battle you never wanted to fight

losing patience is inevitable after twelve attempts to dock onto your boat lift

long term boaters have selective memories

only recalling the greatest of boating days

with no biting flies, rain, or gales

nothing ever broke down and the boat was magically self-cleaning

this year I am determined to keep a boating diary

recording all the positives and negatives of boating life

meticulously registering every single dollar spent

before dropping the diary overboard at the season’s end