I like toast in the morning

With butter and jam

Washed down with a hot cup of tea

Real comfort food

Reminds me of my childhood

There is however one problem

Mornings are often rushed

Dashing between rooms to get ready

Plate in hand with toast

Inevitably the toast slides off the plate

Like a suicide jumper from a high rise

The toast always somersaults mid dive

So that it lands butter and jam side down

He usually lands on the carpet

Making more mess that a human suicide jumper

My hungry stomach cries foul

I yell a string of obscenities 

Jam oozes deep into the carpet fibers

This drama has been going on for decades

I decided it was time to end it

After hours of inventive thoughts

Lots of googling research

And many failed kitchen science experiments

I finally solved this age old problem

I put a piece of kitchen paper on the plate

Before laying the hot toast on top

Thanks to the laws of physics

The toast can no longer slide off

No more toast suicide jumping

It worked great the first few times

I enjoyed my toast while getting dressed and checking emails

Multitasking big bites of toast without even looking

But suddenly the toast tasted really weird

The leaking butter had glued the paper to the toast

I was chewing paper towel stuck to my toast

Back to the drawing board

The suicide jumping toast lives and dies again