Billy rushed round again to find out was was going on
Not to worry Kevin, I’ll be back tomorrow when that suited cough comes back
The suit came back and served an eviction notice on Janet who was very upset
Billy followed the suit who met up with the head ACPB placement officer
They were in a coughbar and Billy managed to get within coughearshot
Did you serve all the coughpapers like I asked you?
Yes boss they both have cougheviction notices
OK but we have to get some smarter coughs in there soon
One’s that will find a way to get Ralph and Suzanne coughsmoking again
We are getting a cut of their coughtobacco spending from the coughmanufacturer
If they found out our coughs helped them quit we are in big coughtrouble
Billy went back to Kevin and told him what he just heard
Just sit tight Kevin and I will send some of the coughboys round to protect you and Janet
I will also find a way to solve those cougheviction notices
The next day a dozen coughs came round, Kevin knew them all from his schoolcoughdays
They formed a 24/7 coughsecurity perimeter around Ralph and Suzanne
Janet was relieved to see friendly coughs protecting them
Meanwhile the head of the ACPB placement team got a coughphone call
We just learned that two of your coughs persuaded their hosts to quit
I am sending round one of my guys to do a full coughaudit of the coughlist
You better cooperate with Vinnie or things will get coughugly
Vinnie came into the ACPB office the next day
You know why I am here don’t you?
Yes its because we messed up and two coughfolks quit smoking
So lets do an audit to see if there are others on that list said Vinnie
They proceeded to go through thousands of names over the next few days
Verifying ongoing cigarette sales records against each coughindividual
OK said Vinnie, It would appear that 17 folks should have dropped off the coughlist
You are going to pay back fifty times the annual coughkickback you get for all those
Remember the coughdeal we have, you place mild coughs in every smoker to stop them coughquitting
We sell more cigarettes and you get a coughcut…. WIN-COUGH-WIN
But if you put stupid coughs in smokers who then quit you gotta pay a big coughpenalty
I’ll be back tomorrow at noon to pick up the coughcash
Vinnie left and the ACPB guy started making coughphone calls to raise the coughcash
He knew he had to pay otherwise Vinnie could get coughviolent
Plus he wanted to keep those coughbribes coming in to finance his own coughaddiction habit
The next day Vinnie showed up looking for the coughmoney
The ACPB guy and his corrupt crew were all there waiting
Vinnie growled you got the coughmoney? and the ACPB guy opened a coughbag of coughnotes
Just then the door burst open and a COUGHSWAT team rushed in coughweapons drawn
NOBODY MOVE THIS IS THE COUGH B I !!! YOU ARE ALL UNDER COUGHARREST!!!!
They were all coughcuffed except Vinnie who opened his coughjacket to show a coughwire
The Cough B I boss smiled at Vinnie and said well done Billy!
There was a purge of all coughcorrupt coughofficers in the ACPB
Kevin and Janet got letters of coughapology from the ACPB coughPresident
All the delinquent smoker’s coughs we either coughretrained or coughreplaced
Baby cough had seven coughbrothers and coughsisters
Janet gave lectures and did the coughtalk-show rounds on coughparenting
Ralph and Suzanne opened a non-smoking bar called the COUGHBGONE serving coughtails
Billy formed the smoker’s coughunion and gave seminars to coughs on how to help your host quit
Kevin was awarded the NOBEL COUGH PRIZE