Its that time of year

The festivities are over

Put away the Christmas tree

Eat the last of the chocolate gifts

Step on the scales and gasp

Riddle yourself with guilt and remorse

Get back on the diet again

Dust off the exercise machine

Sign up for that gym yet again

Why not make some more resolutions

Do something to save the planet

Reduce your carbon footprint

While you reduce your expanded waistline

But wait there is a huge problem here

A sedentary person breathes out 2.3 pounds of CO2 per day

Vigorous exercise increases this eight fold

Diet and exercise can explode your carbon footprint

If everybody on the planet exercised continuously

It would release 98 Billion tons of CO2 into the atmosphere annually

Best we all stay at home and eat more carbs

Become a responsible citizen and store carbon in your body

Sit on the couch and exhale less often

But what about when you die

Where will all your stored carbon go

Cremation sends it into the atmosphere

Burial is probably a slow release back into the earth

Best you get launched into space

If each rocket has a payload of say 150,000 pounds

That could propel 1,000 dead carbon storage people into space

We will need 56,000 rocket launches a year to keep up with death rate

Hopefully they will have low carbon footprint rocket launchers by then