Tag: short story

Billy reunited with Bobby – Part 5 Finale

Ian Hunter1 Comment

Billy sat in the FBI cell with his attorney who said it was not looking good

THE FBI found DNA from the dead undercover agent on you and Bobby

You have Both been charged with murder and their case is solid

I could negotiate a plea bargain if you plead guilty and agree to cooperate with the FBI

Others you are facing the death penalty and will end up being recycled

Billy shook his head in defiance saying I am innocent and so is Bobby

The robbers killed that agent and Bobby even tried to help

The attorney shook his head and collected his papers leaving Billy alone

Billy was determined to fight his innocence all the way

He retraced in his mind every single moment leading up to the robbery

Trying to remember every word that was said and everything he saw there 

He requested his attorney to visit him again

Billy told him he remembered one of the robbers was taking pictures with a cell phone

Presumably to record details how how much wine they were taking

We have to find those pictures to prove our innocence said Billy

His attorney confirmed that a cell phone was recovered from the robbers

But there were no photographs because the phone had been wiped clean

I know somebody who could trace those photos said Billy

His name is Hugo and he lives in a wine cellar in Potomac

I spent a few years in that wine rack alongside Hugo 

Every evening he jumps off the rack and uses the home computer network

Hugo is an expert hacker who can find anything on the internet

You have to go tell Hugo that I need his help

The attorney visited Hugo who listened intensely and agreed to help

Give me twenty four hours said Hugo and I will find the photos for Billy

Just give me the exact location of the vineyard where this all took place

That night Hugo was able to trace the nearest cell towers

He wrote a program to analyze all the traffic from those towers on that day

When the attorney came back the next day Hugo handed him the photos

The robber had texted the photos to his crime boss before wiping the phone clean

You can clearly see the agent being knocked off the table by the robbers

Billy was set free after his attorney gave the photos to the FBI

But Bobby and the Bordeaux brigade of bottles were not released

Under federal law only bottles of US citizenship can be refilled

All other bottles had to go to recycling so Bobby and his gang were all doomed

Billy however was not ready to give up on his friend and hatched another plan

He wrote to the President of the United States requesting clemency for his friends

Billy was taken back at the vineyard for rebottling and he prayed for a miracle

A few weeks later Bobby and the Bordeaux gang showed up

Their French labels were all covered in stamps from US immigration

Each of them was holding a US citizenship certificate after renouncing French citizenship 

 Bobby hugged Billy and thanked him for saving them all

Billy told Bobby it was time he dropped his dumb French accent

Soon you will be full of Virginia wine so get used to being an American he added

Maybe we can watch the nascar race on TV later and then shoot some pool

C’est magnifique replied Bobby with a wincing smile as he gave Billy a big high five

Billy reunited with Bobby- Part 4

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The gang moved quickly to grab every case of wine

One of them whispered lets grab all the uncased bottles

There were a few dozen full bottles on a table

A full bottle fell to the floor while the robbers loaded the cases 

Wine spilled everywhere as the bottle exploded on the concrete floor

The robbers froze for a moment concerned that the noise might attract attention

Casing up the loose bottles soon resumed until they had everything

Bobby and his escapees lay motionless on the floor during the raid

Jumping up as soon as the big sliding door closed shut

Bobby ran over to the broken bottle to check on him

He could find no pulse on his neck and pronounced him dead

The Bordeaux ladies started to weep at the loss and Bobby comforted them

Bobby was covered in the spilled wine which stained his label

Are you still planning to escape from here asked Billy

Absolument declared Bobby in a strong French accent

Zis is no place for us fine French vintage aristocrats

Too many of you rougeneck peasants in zis classless old shed

Billy jumped down and grabbed Bobby by the neck

Nobody calls me a redneck you bourgeois snob yelled Billy

The other bottles formed a circle as Billy and Bobby exchanged punches on the floor

Suddenly the big sliding door slid open and a voice yelled FBI nobody move

A bottle walked in wearing a police cap carrying a gun

There were a dozen more following him all wearing FBI labels

I am FBI special agent Stone he announced and you are under suspicion

Bobby jumped up and defiantly screamed we are all innocent

We will see about that said the FBI agent as his men searched the place

Officer down yelled one of the agents as he knelt beside the broken bottle

Special agent Stone walked over and pulled off the local label from the corpse

Revealing an FBI label underneath he announced that this was now a murder investigation

The thieves were stopped on the highway and they admitted it was an inside job

We had this place under surveillance and one of our boys was working undercover

But now he is dead and we are going find out who is responsible

We are all innocent officer yelled Bobby as he desperately tried to disguise his accent

The FBI agent laughed saying its usually the guilty ones who plead innocence the loudest

He walked up to Bobby noting his label was all crooked and covered in fresh wine

And what might your name be under this badly fitting label he asked

My name is Bobby from Virginia and I swear I did not kill anybody officer

The French accent was a dead giveaway that Bobby was lying 

The FBI agent peeled the label off Bobby and placed it in an evidence bag

A very suspicious crude disguise Monsieur Bobby said the FBI agent in a mock French accent

We will have your label DNA tested to see if its linked to this murder

In the meantime all you empties are coming down to HQ for interrogation

The Bordeaux ladies burst into tears again as they were all led to the FBI van outside

What a mess thought Billy as he sat in the back of the FBI van

Billy reunited with Bobby- Part 3

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Billy saw the big trash can marked recycling

If he went in there it was certain death

Broken into pieces before carrying off to be melted down

He felt a hand grab his neck and he knew it was all over

Bobby shouted be brave Billy who saw his whole life flash before him

Billy recalled all the happy times laying in a wine rack and making friends

He remembered being served at birthday parties and anniversaries 

He closed his eyes when he was just about to be dropped into recycling

Suddenly a voice yelled that is only for the broken glass 

Billy was soon back in the crate next to Bobby 

That was a close call whispered Bobby but Billy did not reply

He was overcome by the emotion of having his life spared

Soon the crate was stacked with other crates and speeding to the local vineyard

It was a short journey in the back of a pickup truck

Bobby asked Billy what the vineyard was like

He wanted to know if was similar to his Bordeaux home

I am afraid this is a lot more rustic than you are used to said Billy

This place is nothing like your French chateau

Its a converted barn and everything is done with volunteers by hand 

The truck pulled into the yard and Bobby scowled this place is a redneck dump

This is not fit for us prestigious French Bordeaux bottles he announced

He was stirring up his compatriots and urging them to escape with him

Billy and the other local wine bottles started laughing

Its a long walk from Virginia to the East Coast they chuckled

Oh and good luck crossing the Atlantic

Here take a cork and float yourself back to France

The Bordeaux bottles formed an escape committee and held meetings in French

Billy tried to convince Bobby his plans were doomed but he would not listen

Their crate was placed on a table in the barn and the big doors were closed

Bobby told Billy his team was ready to head back to France

Billy noted that Bobby suddenly had a much stronger French accent

You will never make it to the coast talking like that said Billy

And your French labels are a dead giveaway

Bobby jumped out of the crate and picked up a pile of local labels from another table

Handing them out to his Bordeaux crew as their disguise

They crudely stuck the new tables over their old French labels in readiness

They lined up alongside the door and waited for the signal from Bobby

It was a long cool night of waiting but eventually the door started to open

On y vas screamed Bobby as his compatriots yelled Vive la France

Billy shook his head in disbelief at this foolish escapade

The big door slid open and sent all the Bordeaux bottles spinning

They had forgotten it was a sliding door

Three men wearing balaclavas entered the barn and started grabbing cases of full wine

They stacked all the cases in a van parked outside

I think we are witnessing a robbery whispered Billy

Billy reunited with Bobby – Part 2

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Billy and Bobby were chatting away

They paused when the servers came in

More empty bottles were added to the crate

Bobby warmly greeted his fellow Bordeaux bottles

They outnumbered the local vineyard by two to one

Billy made fun of the Bordeaux crowd

Saying they will all lose their fancy labels soon

When they get filled with the local wine

The dinner party ended and the kitchen staff cleaned up

Soon all the staff had gone and the house went quiet

The crate of empty bottles started to talk

They all knew each other from the wine cellar

Now they were empty it was time to party

A few of the bottles raided the fridge for leftovers

While Billy and Bobby looted the drinks cabinet

They laid all the food on the kitchen table

While chugging shots of the finest malt whisky

Oh my said Bobby this stuff is really powerful

Be careful said Billy you are only used to drinking wine

Bobby ignored his advice and was soon totally hammered

They devoured all the leftovers and demolished the whisky

Somebody turned on the radio and the dancing started

They danced on the chairs and on the counter tops

It got crowded when they all danced on the table

One of the Claret bottles started to break dance

He was spinning and doing back flips

All the other bottles watched from the edge of the table

Everybody was clapping to the music and laughing

A Bordeaux bottle lost his balance and fell from the table

Crashing onto the kitchen floor and breaking

Somebody turned the music off and they all went quiet

The poor old Bordeaux bottle was now just chards

One of the bottles started to weep

Everybody back in the crate now yelled Billy

I can hear footsteps on the stairs

The kitchen door opened and a man in pajamas went to the fridge

He never even noticed the broken glass on the floor

Luckily he was wearing slippers and did not cut himself

He left soon after guzzling a carton of milk

The empty wine bottles all slept in a drunken stupor 

Only to be rudely awoken the next morning

The kitchen staff were clearing up the mess

Complaining about the master of the house and his midnight feasts

Somebody picked up the crate of empty wine bottles

Where are we going now asked Billy

Bobby was afraid to answer as he feared they were all heading to the trash

Billy reunited with Bobby- Part 1

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Billy the wine bottle of slept in a rack

He was undisturbed for many years

Maturing in a cool dark cellar

He got to know so well all the other wine bottles

They chatted for hours on end in the cellar

Telling stories about where they came from

How the warm sun shone on their grapes

Who happily gave up their juices to make fine wine

On one late afternoon all the bottles were napping

Billy woke to the sound of footsteps

There is somebody coming he warned the others

Billy knew there were only two possibilities

Either new wine was arriving

Or somebody would be taken away to be drank

Billy had seen many of his old friends carried off

The bottles stopped chatting as the footsteps got closer 

Billy closed his eyes hoping that he would be chosen

Suddenly he felt a hand around his neck

He was pulled off the rack with a jerk

The other bottles whispered good luck Billy

Billy was excited about the prospect of being drank

He was dusted off before his cork was pulled

Placed on a large table to breathe

He could smell the gourmet food close to him

He looked around the table at the smiling faces

A large dinner party with eight couples

The ladies looked stunning in their fine dresses

All the men wore dinner jackets

This was going to be fun thought Billy

Billy was soon on his side again as his wine was poured

He listened to the speeches and the applause

Watched them all eat delicious food as his wine was sipped

He was so honored to add to the pleasure of the group

Listening intensely to their fascinating conversations

More of his wine was poured into a glass

Billy felt empty inside

Sudden he was grabbed off the table

Taken into the kitchen by a server

She had very rough hands noted Billy

She placed Billy in a large crate with the other empty bottles

They would stay there until it was time for rebottling at the vineyard 

Billy recognized his old friend Bobby Bordeaux and they started chatting

Life is sweet said Billy with a smug sigh

Bobby grinned and replied and so is your wine Billy

……….to be continued………..

The adventures of Mr Baker – Part 6 Finale

Ian Hunter3 Comments

Mr Baker made three more data downloads for the Russians

He told them he was worried that internal audits would soon catch him

They laughed at him and replied we will let you know when its over

This B movie is running far too long he thought to himself

Mr. Baker told his secretary he was going out for a late lunch

He waited at the corner and a black limousine pulled up

Good afternoon sir said the smartly dressed driver 

Soon the car entered the MI6 underground parking garage

Mr. Baker scanned his fingerprints at security and put his gun in a locker

He took the elevator directly to the top floor and entered an office

With a beaming smile he said you look as beautiful as ever Miss Rose

The aging secretary blushed and replied he is waiting for you

Good morning Commander said Mr. Baker its good to see you again

They shook hands as the commander reached for the single malt

Time for a quick celebration Baker before I go to brief the PM

You did a Brilliant job Baker we just picked up the entire gang 

Their fake British MI6 officer ‘Nigel’ is downstairs in interrogation

Singing like a canary and asking for asylum said the Commander

I almost laughed out loud when Nigel threatened to kill me said Mr Baker

The Russians did a pretty realistic job trying to terrorize me with Nigel’s fake execution

We recovered most of the funds they transferred said the Commander

They were starting to pack up and run when we raided their base

Thankfully we stopped their mission to destroy a large sector of our economy 

Our IT experts put a hidden virus in the last bunch of data you gave them

We got confirmation that its now shutting down multiple KGB systems

It should set their operations back a long time he chuckled while finishing his single malt

One can’t keep the PM waiting Baker so I must dash to number 10 now 

They shook hands and Mr. Baker returned to his office in the limousine

He resumed his sleeper role waiting for his next MI6 assignment

Taking the 8.07 train every morning and reading his paper in the same seat

He attended banking conferences in the far east to raise his profile as a target for fraudsters

A few years later he saw a young Oriental woman sitting in his seat on the train

.……..The end…………or is it?

The adventures of Mr Baker – Part 5

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Mr. Baker looked at the compromising photos

As he downloaded the data the Russians demanded

They picked him up the next day with the same goons

Another black hooded kidnapping

He handed over the memory stick

You did good this time Mr Baker they said

Here is another list of accounts to be downloaded

Now tell us about your meeting with MI6

Mr. Baker looked at the Intimidating handguns on the table

They already had enough data to steal huge sums

Cooperating might keep him alive a bit longer

Giving them full details of his meeting with MI6 was his only option

You made a wise decision to work with us Mr. Baker

MI6 will certainly pick you up again soon

Tell them you were blackmailed into giving us the data

But you had made a duplicate copy for them

Here is the sealed envelope for you to give to MI6

They will try and recruit you as a double agent

You must tell us everything MI6 asks you to do

Failure to follow our orders will be punished by death

Mr. Baker looked the Russian straight in the eye

He could see the man had no soul

The Russian pulled back a curtain revealing a two way mirror

Come take a look at this pathetic creature he said

Mr. Baker saw a figure in a chair next to a table

He had been badly beaten but he recognized the face of Nigel

We had to torture him for days to find out what he said to you

Your version matched his exactly which proved you are not lying to us

The Russian barked an order into an intercom

Mr. Baker watched as Nigel’s head was pushed onto the table

A cushion was put over his head just before the gun fired

Smoke rose from the cushion and blood dripped to the floor

…..To be continued……..

The adventures of Mr Baker – Part 4

Ian Hunter3 Comments

We will contact you soon said the voice on the phone

Then the line went dead

He put the compromising photos in a drawer

Wondering who all these people were

As he walked home from the station that night

Somebody tapped him on the shoulder

Two goons in long overcoats pushed him into a car

The blindfold hood almost suffocated him

He took a huge breath as he was unmasked

Two menacing looking men sat at a table

Talking with thick Russian accents

Worse than a bad B movie he thought to himself

We know you have access to all UK banking information

You will download these account details 

He protested that he could not break company policy 

They handed him a memory stick

Is this some kind if practical joke he asked

One of the men put a gun to his head

We can make it look like you killed yourself

Your grieving wife will be told that you killed a man

Don’t dare talk to anybody about this

You might be interrogated by British Intelligence

Those clowns try to follow us everywhere

Tell them nothing and all will be fine

They gave him detailed instructions before releasing him

The next day he was walking near his office

A car pulled up alongside and the passenger said

Its about your meeting with the Russians please get in

The smartly dressed man in the car did not blindfold him

My name is Nigel and I work for MI6 he said with a pure British accent

Its you patriotic duty to cooperate with us Mr. Baker

Nigel smiled as he whispered If you don’t I will kill you myself 

……..To be continued………………

The adventures of Mr Baker – Part 3

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Mr Baker walked over to the chest freezer

He examined the heavy padlock on the lid

Do you want to look inside said Miss Walters

He looked at her in disbelief and replied hell no

Tell me how all this happened he said firmly

She reached in her bag and handed him a bottle of pills

They were powerful prescription painkillers

He took his own life with these she said

He had been depressed after retiring

Often sleeping downstairs after heavy drinking

One morning I found him dead in the chair

I panicked and put him in the freezer

Why not just report his death he asked

I was afraid of being accused of murder

She began to cry and uttered please help me

He held her in his arms as she sobbed

Let me do some research and figure out a plan he said

She stopped crying and kissed him

He drove home trying to make sense out of all this mess

After hours on the internet he concluded she should just confess

He decided to tell her on Monday over lunch

But she was not on the train that day

He called her cell phone but no answer

She was probably just upset he thought 

Three days later and still no sign of Miss Walters

He sat at his desk wondering if she was alright

While opening his letters and sorting them into piles

A large brown envelope with no markings caught his attention

He pulled out a bunch of printed photographs

A clear image of him entering her house

Close ups of his fingerprints on the pill bottle and padlock

His phone rang and a voice said we can prove you killed him

…………..to be continued……………….

The adventures of Mr Baker- Part 2

Ian Hunter1 Comment

They met for lunch at a vegan restaurant

It was not of Mr Bakers choosing

He was more of a meat and potatoes man

He nearly choked on the quinoa and mushroom salad

Are you enjoying the vegan food she asked

Absolutely delicious he replied

She could tell he was lying

He tried to imagine the beetroot was roast beef

She kissed him on the cheek upon leaving

Lingering more than a friendly peck

He was surprised but enjoyed the attention

Her perfume was alluring

They took the same train morning and evening

Engaging constant small talk

Much to the annoyance of all the silent commuters

Who hung on every word

His wife was visiting her sick mother that weekend

He invited Miss Walters to dinner and the theatre

At the steakhouse she ordered salad

Less risk of choking on a ribeye he thought

She held his hand tightly during the play

At the end she whispered take me home

He pulled up outside her house

You must come in for a nightcap she insisted

Her house was immaculate 

She poured drinks and suggested a tour

He admired her expensive artwork

Unfortunately for Mr. Baker the stay in the bedroom was brief 

The house tour finished in the garage 

His eyes lit up as he saw a bright red Ferrari

That belonged to my late husband she said

I keep him in the freezer over there

.…..To be continued………