Dentist speak

I went to the dentist yesterday

Not to fix a dental problem

Routine planned maintenance with the hygienist 

Stacey is a very pleasant young lady

We started by chatting about our respective families

As she positioned me horizontal in the chair

I lost all sight of her pretty face

When she switched on her miner’s cyclopes bright light

I closed my eyes and surrendered 

My mouth was soon filled with suction tubes, mirrors on sticks and a super strong power washer 

The equipment made a lot of noise

Far too much to hold a conversation

But we had one anyway, throughout the whole procedure:

Stacey: did you have family visiting over the summer?

Me:  ug ger ga ga ker grah

Stacey: where did you take them?

Me: ugh gee ent to gag goo ged gra gee gan gace

Stacey: their pita bread is delicious, we love the mezza there

Me: gee guv kit coo

Stacey: how old is your grandson?

Me: gee gill ge gelve goon

Stacey: oh twelve is that funny age where they start to change into a teenager

Me: ges gee gi ga git goody

Stacey: where did you go on vacation this year?

Me: ge gen koo ahh gan gan goo geng gan

Stacey: did you see the northern lights in Iceland?

Me: go gi gas goo gla gee gut ge gaw got gata gawl

Stacey: oh those beautiful waterfalls, I saw your the photos on FaceBook

Me: ugh goan goo ga guc, ga gaw guh gy ge gife

Stacey: oh yes she is your social media queen, I am almost finished now, just one last rinse

I felt ice cold water gushing into my mouth like a fire house

My teeth don’t like extreme temperatures

The pain was instant

I closed my eyes tighter

Praying it would end soon

Stacey:  how are you doing?

Me: ga gow gawgu gake gy gee gaw

Stacey:  thats normal but it will all be done soon

The fire hose was turned off

The suction tube drained my mouth and half my internal organs

My teeth stopped screaming at me

She finished off with a rotating brush and gritty toothpaste

Then it was all over

A final mouthwash rinse and I was able to talk human again

Stacey: see you in six months, have a great winter

Me: you too, it was good to catch up

Soon I was back outside and walking towards my car

Making resolutions to floss daily 

So that Stacey has less need to power wash my molars

I decided to weigh myself when I got home

I must surely have lost pounds in plaque

Best Day Unplanned by our guest author JH Huzzah

In the morning light, I awake with glee, 

A day off ahead, just John and me! 

With slippers on, to the kitchen I tread, 

My dog Stella in tow, eager to be fed.

Coffee cups filled, excitement in the air, 

Dreaming of adventures, beyond compare. 

“What shall we do?” I ask with cheer, 

As John sips his coffee, his answer unclear.

Distracted by Facebook, the time slips away, 

With grandkids’ photos and videos of cats at play. 

The dogs bark for a walk as the day unfolds,
Laundry beckons, a story it holds.

Strolling the block, some plans arise, 
A beach lunch, could be a pleasant surprise. 
But lint in the dryer vent, obviously a fire’s threat, 
Two more hours pass, but at least the laundry’s set.

Now the house needs a vacuum’s touch, 
Dust clouds rise, it’s a bit too much. 
Lunchtime arrives, hunger takes hold, 
A tune-up for the car, plans unfold.

Dishes are washed, the day wears on, 
“What’s next?” I ask as the rain comes along. 
Indoor activities sought, the clock ticking fast, 
A movie perhaps? A plan surpassed.

In the attic, John’s on an organizing spree, 
No ‘Mission Impossible,’ it’s just not to be. 
Time slips away, dinner on our minds, 
A cocktail, Netflix, the evening binds.

Binge-watching takes its hold, 
Five episodes in, a story unfolds. 
Clock striking ten, bedtime calls, 
Plans unmet, yet joy enthralls.

“I had one of the best days,” John declares, 
As we drift to sleep, forgetting life’s cares. 
The plans we made may have slipped through the day, 
But the moments we shared will forever stay.

Abi takes her morning walk

Photo by Du01b0u01a1ng Nhu00e2n on Pexels.com

Abi took her usual early morning walk

it was a warm summer day with low humidity

wild flowers were in bloom

birds were happily singing 

taking a short trail through the woods

a path she had taken many times before

pausing to look at the flowers and butterflies

something caught her eye in the distance

a black cat moving towards her

the cat came close and sat down 

she reached down an petted the animal

who responded with loud purring

whats your name kitty she asked

the cat circled between her legs

before starting to walk along the trail

looking back frequently to make sure she followed

Abi always took the left fork in the clearing

the cat went to the right and started crying

it seemed like the cat was leading her to something

the cat stopped crying when she followed along the right fork

the trail became narrower and was obviously hardly used

briars caught her exposed legs

this better be worth it Abi said to herself

hoping she would not regret this adventure

the terrain became denser and the trail disappeared

she was climbing over fallen trees covered in moss

after a while reaching a clearing

in the middle stood a small shelter made from logs

the cat ran straight inside the shelter

she hesitated but stepped inside the dark damp place

an elderly lady dressed in black was sitting in the corner

welcome Abi she said I have been waiting for you

Lollipop laughter

Mother

Child

Walking

Shopping

Window

Candy

Child

Excited

Pleading

Purchase

Lollipop

Mother

Succumbs

Lollipop

Given

Smiles

Slurp

Lick

Suck

Sticky

Mess

Loose

Grip

Lollipop

Dropped

Floor

Dirty

Child

Cries

Uturn

More

Cries

Buy

Replacement

Child

Calmed

Vice

Grip

Slurp

Lick

Suck

No

Dropping

Slurp

Lick

Suck

Dribble

Sticky

Fingers

SlurP

Lick

Suck

Lollipop

Finished

Child

Excited

Sugar

High

Running

Around

Jumping

Laughing

Sticky

Fingers

Leaving

Marks

Calling

Card

Sticky

Mess

Everywhere

Mother

Wiping

Vowing

Never

Again

Child

Overexcited

Mother

Fatigued

Lollipop

Laughter

Invasion of the weeds- Part 4

I looked around the room to find who was talking

It was one of my houseplants

He was livid about me bringing a weed into the house

All weeds are evil he shouted

The rest of the houseplants downstairs joined in the rant

My little weed Caps started shouting back

I had to go downstairs and yell at them all to stop shouting

I said if anybody utters another word tonight they will be put in the potting shed for a month

I promised we would continue the discussion in the morning

After a good nights sleep I arranged all the houseplants and Caps in a circle on the lounge floor

I moderated this group therapy session for hours on end

It was obvious that weeds were despised and rejected by all but their own clan

It emerged that the plants in the garden also had active terrorists

They carried out retaliatory attacks on the weeds

This really is a deep rooted conflict

After weeks of daily therapy sessions we started to make progress

I had breakout groups work on specific tasks

Caps brought more of his friends in to even up the numbers

We did team building exercises to build trust between the two sides

The final session was a presentation given to me on how they proposed to end the conflict

Here is a summary of what they decided

The term “weed” is offensive and from now on shall be replaced by “plants of a different color

All the plants in the garden shall go through cultural training so that all can live together in harmony

A plant counter terrorism group will be established to protect the garden from attacks

A firewall will be created by planting specialist plants around the perimeter

These plants will connect to the mycelium and prevent any data transfer with terrorists plants outside

The garden will no longer have manicured flower beds or lawns

It will be planted as a natural garden and wild flowers will be encouraged to grow

An alliance will be established with the birds who will spread our seeds and cuttings to other gardens

The objective is to spread harmonious plant gardens all over the planet

I was well impressed with their work and congratulated them all

I suggested we repeat the presentation tomorrow morning in the garden

I was looking forward to the reaction of all the garden plants

We all slept well that night and planned to get up early the next day

I awoke around 4am to terrible screams

I ran downstairs to find two dead houseplants on the kitchen floor

They had been strangled by vines who had crept in through an open window

Red cushion breaks the code of silence

The red cushion was resting peacefully

On the teal blue leather chair

A prime position in the room

To witness all that happens

I asked him boldly to tell all

He remained tight lipped

Refusing to break the honorable cushion code of silence

I offered him a stiff drink

In the hope it would get him talking

After three more he started to loosen up

He leaned close and in a low whisper said

They usually start drinking before dinner

He makes those cocktails way too strong

They switch to wine with dinner

Piling the dirty dishes in the sink

The poor dishes stay unwashed until late the next morning

Drowning in cold water

They usually stay up very late

Binging on Netflix into the wee small hours

The both drink scotch after dinner

Most nights they fall asleep watching TV

Usually she goes to bed first

She turns off the TV

Leaving him snoring

He crushes that poor yellow cushion

Who winces every time he slumps in the recliner

Eventually he drags himself to bed

Leaving the poor yellow cushion gasping for breath

I asked him if they ever behaved really badly

Oh you would never believe it

I have seen things go on that would make your hair curl

I filled up his empty glass

Hoping for him to reveal more

But he suddenly remembered his code of conduct

Shaking his red head in defiance

I sensed he was about to clam up

I asked if anybody else in the room might talk

He pointed to the carpet

With a strangle look of intrigue on his face he said

Just ask the carpet about that huge stain in the corner

Beach Day

Beach day

At day at the beach planned

Picnic basket prepared

Towels and sunscreen packed

Beach chairs and umbrellas ready

Load up the car and go

Kids bursting with excitement

Parking a short walk from the beach

Dad does the heavy lifting

The kids carrying buckets and spades

Finding the perfect spot

Setting up the umbrella for shade

A stiff breeze off the ocean

Kids playing in the sand

Time for a nap in the beach chair

A few hours later everybody is hungry

Time to break out the picnic

The wind is blowing harder

But we are still having fun

I am handed a plate of food

Fresh sandwiches and cake

It looks very appetizing

I am salivating in anticipation

I bite into the sandwich

Horror of horrors it tastes gritty

Sand blown all over my sandwich

I try to wipe it off to no avail

Sand is blowing everywhere

Its in my eyes now too

Time to abandon the beach day

The kids complain about leaving

Heavy traffic all the way home

The kids start fighting in the car

Arrive home tired and grumpy

Sand is traipsed through the house

I jump in the shower and scrub

A large pool of sand forms on the shower floor

It refuses to wash into the drain

Why did I ever think beach days were fun

Discover your dreams, fears and hope

Take one word from each group that starts with the same letter

Darkness

Despair

Disappointments

Depression

Light

Life

Luxury

Love

Pain

Paranoia

Perplexed

Petrified

Fun

Frolic

Frivolous

Friendly

Scandalous

Salacious

Selfish

Shameful

Happy

Hallowed

Handsome

Harmonious

Make a story about you with your six words

What does it tell you about your dreams, fears and hope?