Epic Journey

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Seven weeks ago we set off on a long vacation

Starting on the US east coast

We took a trans-Atlantic cruise for 12 nights

The ship stopped in Bermuda and the Azores

Final destination was Lisbon

After an enjoyable stay in Lisbon we flew to Madeira

Meeting up with some close friends

We spent the next 10 days exploring the island

Great food, wine, scenery and super friendly locals

We then flew to London for a brief stay before flying up to Inverness

We met up with family and rented a car

Next chapter was the NC 500

A 500 mile drive along the north coast of Scotland

It took a full week to complete

Our final destination was the Isle of Skye

Another week of exploration with more family members

The journey back home started with a 5 hour drive to Glasgow

A short flight to Dublin followed

The next day we flew to Iceland

A far too brief layover before boarding our flight back to the US

It was hard to stay awake during the 3 hour drive home

We took a lot of photos and made many memories

What did we learn from this journey?

The best way to avoid jet lag is to cross the ocean by sea

Losing an hour every other day is much better than stepping off a plane and losing 6 hours

Bermuda seems to be stuck in a time warp

Once a place for the super wealthy to hang out and hide their cash

As the old money dies off, nobody has taken then opportunity to develop the island for sun seeking tourists

We just wanted more and mores of the Azores

Punta Delgada has not been discovered yet, go soon before the developers swoop in

Spending days at sea makes you appreciate the vastness of the Atlantic ocean

The early sailing explorers were so brave

Lisbon has a special place in our hearts

Our fifth visit revealed even more amazing history and culture

Port tastes so much better when looking out over Lisbon and eating local food

Lisbon has been discovered, no longer the quiet backwater we knew a decade ago

Madeira is a gem

A huge rock towering out of the ocean off the coast of Africa

Its similar to Hawaii but in the Atlantic

Spectacular scenery and super friendly locals

Madeira wine is nectar, it can send you to heaven on earth

We enjoyed Fado, traditional Portuguese music full of emotion

London is a huge city but the locals are super friendly

English beer is warm

Fish and chips is an additive English pleasure

Inverness is the gateway to the highlands

The NC500 attracts too many RVs

John O’Groats is always cold and windy

Its hard to keep your eyes on the road when driving through spectacular Scottish scenery

Haggis is a great breakfast food

Scotland is mostly mountains, lakes(lochs), rivers, waterfalls, sheep, deer, pubs, distilleries, castles, highland cows, single track roads and rain

Scottish people never complain about rain

It rains in Scotland almost every day but the locals call it mist

Its hard to find the bathroom at night after three weeks away from home in multiple hotels

Single malt whisky tastes truly amazing in front of a log fire in the Scottish highlands

The Isle of Skye is breathtaking

All whisky distilleries smell like malt

Its so easy to make whisky, the ingredients are: water, barley, yeast and lots of magic

Guinness in Ireland tastes amazing

Irish hospitality is hard to beat

Iceland is mostly black volcanic rock with puffs of steam rising up

Iceland has also been discovered so best to go in the shoulder season

Jet lag is much worse when flying westward

Yes we would do it all again in a heartbeat

Nothing more precious than spending quality time with family and good friends

Home sweet home is a welcome place after a long vacation

I am still confused upon waking each morning, what country/time zone/place am I in?

Oh Bonnie Scotland

Oh bonnie Scotland

I do miss you so

Your beautiful glenns are calling me

Memories of long hikes through the heather

Often battling through rainy days

Warding off the nasty biting midges

Being rewarded when the sun returned

Big mountains stepped out from the clouds

Raging rivers fed the huge lochs

I have felt the energy of your rugged landscape

It builds strong characters 

It shapes a nation of hard working people

Who craft the finest single malts

Proudly displaying their heritage 

Fiercely guarding traditions

I can smell the steaming haggis

I can taste the single malt

I can hear the piper playing

I can see the glenn

I can feel gentle rain they call scotch mist

I feel the urge to go back

Oh bonnie Scotland

I do miss you so

Hamish and Dougle – Part 1

Hamish and Dougle were best friends

Since their first days in school in Glasgow

A couple of fine young Scotsmen

Proud of their Scottish heritage

Wearing kilts and drinking whisky daily

Employment was hard to find in Glasgow

They decided to seek their fortune in America

Stepping off the plane in New York

Walking down 5th Avenue in their kilts

They attracted a lot of attention

Had fun in the bars and  got into a few fights

Made lots of new friends

Hamish had the idea to open a Haggis restaurant

Until they discovered that Haggis was banned in the US

The FDA will not allow Haggis to be imported 

This is stupid said Dougle

Americans love Sottish whisky so why stop them eating Haggis?

Hamish had an idea

Lets find some investors and start a black market Haggis import business

We need a fund rising website declared Dougle

They founded the Scottish Haggis Investment Trust

Created the SHIT website to test the level of interest

Unfortunately their acronym turned out to be very unpopular

Virtually no hits to their website

We have to find a more catchy name said Dougle

After many single malts they agreed upon a new name for their website

Haggis On Toast Pure Original Recipes Nutritious

Their new website acronym HOT PORN got many more hits than SHIT

Soon they had lots of new friends with interests just like theirs

They raised a ton of money through crowd funding

The next step was to smuggle Haggis into the US

After a long drinking and brainstorming session

Hamish had another idea

We need to form a kilted commando squad

They started to interview potential recruits

Picking out the best four young New Yorkers who all liked to drink whisky

After a month of intense training on how to smuggle haggis from Scotland

Six kilted young men boarded a plane at JFK bound for Glasgow

They were all drunk when they got off the plane

Hamish and Dougle went through the UK resident line

See you guys on the other side said Dougle

The other four waited in the line for non-UK residents

What’s the purpose of your visit? asked the UK immigration officer

Drink Whisky and chase girls said one of the New York squad

Hamish and Dougle waited a very long time for the rest of their squad to clear immigration

The battle of Culloden Moor

As a boy I stood on Culloden Moor  

2000 kilted warriors perished there

My father by my side

A pilgrimage to his Scottish homeland

A rugged raw place

Scotland’s saddest day in 1746

I watched my father shed a tear

Not understanding why

Standing on the grave sites 

It made no sense to me then

Just a bunch of tombstones

My father gave me a history lesson

The last pitch battle on British soil

Scottish highlands fell to English rule

Wearing tartan was subsequently outlawed

Scottish culture was being crushed

Scotsmen remained proud

Their glorious highland landscape

Owned by distant Englishmen 

Never relinquished its stark beauty

Scotland was poor in the 1940’s

My father came south seeking work

Settling near Liverpool 

Shipbuilding supported jobs

Three children later

He remained a proud Scot

taking me to his birthplace

And to that lonely moor

My father has long since left us

I have explored Scotland with vigor 

Walking, fishing, whisky drinking

Inheriting my father’s yearning

I fell in love with the highlands

Proud to wear my clan kilt today

Now I understand why my father cried

Culture survives persecution