Tag: relationships

Retail Therapy

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wife depressed

getting dressed

feeling down

don’t frown

husband departs

wife starts

shopping spree

purchase glee

endless sales

saving tales

choosing clothes

loving those

looking fantastic

payment plastic

homeward bound

happiness found

closet dash

hiding stash

husband unaware

suppressed care

weeks later

letter hater

credit bill

truth spill

fashion show

lingerie beaux

romantic confession

passion session

husband content

well spent

emotions spilt

no guilt

next morning

late yawning

phone rings

invitation brings

girls outing

lips pouting

early brunch

late lunch

shopping ensues

expensive shoes

happy wife

happy life

Happy human glue making day*

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glue is such a fascinating substance

take a walk down the adhesives aisle at a hardware store

there are glues for joining almost anything to anything

wood glue, plastic glue, metal glue, glass glue..

but there is one glue that you just can’t buy

its never been manufactured

its human glue, the stuff that bonds people together

the stuff that keeps friendships going

the stuff that creates long lasting relationships

so if it can’t be bought then how do you find human glue

you have to make it yourself

unfortunately there is no human glue recipe book

yet there are some well researched ingredients

if you want to have more meaningful relationships

here are the ingredients you should assemble

Availability

being there for somebody

making time for them

showing up at the promised time

answering calls or texts promptly

………………

Vulnerability

taking that big step beyond small talk

sharing your feelings fears and phobias

opening up about traumas in your life

trusting somebody enough to open up your soul to them

………………………

Communication

learn the art of listening

repeat back what you think they said

take note of non-verbal signs like expressions and body language

……………………..

Physicality

touch

intimacy

either platonic or non platonic

everybody needs a hug

……………………..

Empathy

learn how to feel another persons emotions

understand what they are going through

let them know you understand their feelings

…………………………….

Love

learn how to value another person’s well being or happiness above your own

share your feelings and emotions of attachment, affection and need

…………………………

Once you assemble all the ingredients, go out into the world and find somebody to practice with

be aware that human glue can be messy

sometimes it comes unstuck

some folks are wary of it

but nobody is allergic to human glue

keep trying and eventually it will work

happy human glue making day

Setting intentions

Ian Hunter1 Comment

its early morning

the sun is just about to rise

everything is quiet

a great time to sit and think

I start with an empty mind

setting my intentions for the day

trying to avoid my mistakes of yesterday

its not easy to keep everybody around you happy

sometimes those you love don’t meet your expectations

sometimes you don’t meet their expectations

disappointment can lead to frustration 

all you can do is try to be better yourself

and hope the ones you love be more forgiving

people often forget that life is just a transient thing

these times together will not last forever

they should be treasured 

I will try harder today

sunrise brings hope

she was cold as ice

Ian Hunter1 Comment

They had been married for more than twenty five years

Everybody assumed they were perfectly happy

But when her husband Dave showered her with affection

She was cold as ice

Dave never gave up on their marriage

He continued to love her as before

He gave her lavish gifts on birthdays and anniversaries 

She was cold as ice

The colder she got the harder Dave tried

She made more demands for freedom

He allowed her to take vacations alone

She was cold as ice

Dave started to feel the strain

Holding down a full time job and bringing up the kids

He asked her to be more of a partner

She was cold as ice

Dave discovered she was having an affair

He asked her if she was seeing somebody else

She denied everything claiming it was all his imagination

She was cold as ice

Dave was devastated to learn his wife was a cheat and a liar

He calmly amassed more evidence

While pretending to accept her denials

She was cold as ice

He confronted her one last time

Presenting irrefutable facts of her lies and cheating

He gave her a chance to confess

She was cold as ice

Dave told her he would forgive her

If she promised to stay faithful to their marriage

She walked out and never came back

She was cold as ice

pebble on the beach

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she picked up a pebble on the beach at dawn

it was heart shaped

holding in in her open hand

she could feel the heartbeat

she put the pebble in her pocket

walked back to her waterfront home

her husband was still sleeping

placing the pebble on his pillow

she got back into bed

drifted off to sleep

dreaming about being loved

being held tight

a loud noise woke her

her husband was sitting up

somebody put a rock in the bed he yelled

he threw it against the wall

she decided not to own up

her husband got up and dressed

there was no good morning kiss

he left the house soon after

she got out of bed

found the pebble on the floor

holding it tight in her hand

no heartbeat it was cold and dead

it was time to move on

she packed a bag

made a few calls to friends

took a taxi to the airport 

she left a note on his pillow

I gave you my heart

but you threw it away

I am not made of stone

Old flames never die- part 1

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she woke up in a cold sweat

the nightmares were still haunting her

plunging her back into an unhappy consciousness

sadness clung to her night and day

she forced herself to get out of bed

showering and dressing while numb

eating a bland tasteless breakfast

no pleasures brought by the simplest things in her life anymore

she preferred working from home

avoiding the awkwardness of being face to face with others

especially those who picked up on her true feelings

she could expertly hide behind a fake smile in the video conference calls

by mid afternoon she was winding down her online tasks

she held her breath when an email popped onto the screen

it was from an old friend she had not seen for many years

someone she still had very strong feelings for

she opened it with trepidation

he was coming into town and wanted to catch up

he suggested they meet for dinner on Friday

she accepted his invitation without hesitation

she slept soundly that night

waking up with thoughts about seeing him again

breakfast actually tasted good

she wore a genuine smile in the video conference calls that day

She arrived early for the dinner reservation

a martini settled her nerves

she saw him enter from across the room

he had aged well and was still dashingly handsome

he politely kissed her cheek while hugging her tightly

she almost feinted from being so close to him

he sat down and ordered a gin and tonic

are you ready to pick up where we left off were his first words

Digital Adventures of Laura and Dave – Part1

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Laura looked out of the window

Wishing Dave would come back

Hoping to see his smiling face again

She checked her phone for the umpteenth time

No calls or texts from him

She looked back to count her texts to Dave

He had not answered her last three

She started to write another

Begging him to come back

Her finger hesitated over the send button

With tears dripping onto the screen

She deleted the text

Then deleted everything from him

Including every photograph of him

All their FaceBook posts were wiped out

She deleted all their joint social media Apps

He was being digitally expunged

She felt no regrets because it was time to move on

Suddenly her phone rang

It was Dave calling but she did not want to answer

She let it ring out to voicemail but he called again

She picked up the phone and smashed it on the floor

The screen shattered but it kept ringing

She was desperate to silence the noisy virtual ghost

It went in the washing machine

On a long hot heavy soil cycle 

She could hear it still ringing with the door closed

As the water hit the phone it finally went silent

She sat on the floor watching the full machine cycle

The phone clattered as the drum tumbled

She fished it out after the spin cycle stopped

Her phone was destroyed beyond repair

Just like her relationship with Dave

Then the doorbell rang

Dave was at the door

Love rules

Ian Hunter1 Comment

Conflicts inevitably erupt between couples 

Often over trivial matters

Sometimes we think we are right

And then the other person disagrees

An argument ensues

Differences of opinions are expressed

Perhaps insults are thrown 

Do we then listen to the other person

Or are we just pushing our own agenda

How does this all get resolved

Do we both walk away without closure

Or do we stay and fight

In any conflict somebody has to give way

Find a middle ground for a compromise

Tolerance is a virtue

Allowing others to pass your boundaries

Then explaining calmly to them how you feel

Giving them time to express their feelings

Seeking forgiveness when needed

Calming down and regrouping

Expressing forgiveness first

Leaving the door open

Not running away

Its hard

Nobody is perfect

We are all human

Its a tough journey

Navigating through life’s hurdles

We often think others have it easier

But the reality is its a constant struggle

Nobody breezes through life unscarred

Partners have to give each other space to breathe

While recognizing the needs of each other

And finding the right moments to be together as a team

Love rules

The school of life

Ian Hunter1 Comment

Education can open employment doors for you

But you still have to find those doors

Proving your potential can secure an initial job

However its only the beginning of your career

To forge a successful career

Continued learning is essential

Combined with hard work and dedication

Plus a healthy dose of ambition

You might need to change course a few times

Be open to new opportunities

Take some measured risks

Accept your failures as learning experiences

Looking back on my own academic education

It was totally focussed on preparing me for the workforce

Giving me the technical skills to solve engineering problems

Plus the communication and organizational skills to do business

I do not remember attending any classes about being a good citizen

There was never a class on how to establish good relationships

No classes on parenting or bereavement

No classes on how to cope with your own aging parents

I never reached for an old schoolbook

When one of my kids was sick

Or if they were having problems at school

There were no standard formulas for solving those problems

No academic classes prepared me

For my own relationship failures

Or for dealing with my divorce

The schoolbook on all that was nowhere to be found

I have learned a lot outside my academic schooling

Informal classes from my own dedicated wonderful parents

Combined with advice and guidance from friends and family

This was and still is my school of life

How to conquer the weeds of jealousy in the garden of your mind

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Jealousy is a powerful emotion

Evoking fear anger and rage

It can destroy marriages and break up friendships

All because of a perceived threat

Of losing something close to you

But that perception can be false

You may be seeing things that are not real

Fueled by your imagination

Jealously then ignites the inferno

Counsellors say do not act on your jealous emotions

That is a lot easier said than done

Emotions are meant to be acted on

Whether saving you from danger

Or making you compete to win

Prevention is better than cure

Far better to avoid being jealous at all

By cultivating trust

Trust yourself

Trust your partner

If you ever feel yourself getting a tiny bit jealous

Stomp all over it with a big dose of trust

Your mind will be a beautiful garden

Without any weeds of jealousy