The limo pulled into a dimly lit warehouse

Vinny was sitting at a table surrounded by goons

Hamish and Dougle stood facing the table

They all wore oversize black suits and white ties

It was like a bad gangster B movie

Hamish was tempted to giggle at the sight 

Vinny growled where is the dozen haggis eggs?

Hamish reached into his underwear 

Placed two eggs on the table

Dougle reached under his kilt

A couple of haggis chicks dropped to the floor

Running around the warehouse 

Chased by gun toting goons

Vinny was furious

Dougle attempted to calm things

We have enough to start a breeding operation

You have six weeks to make it work yelled Vinny

Otherwise you will be sunk in the Hudson with a concrete overcoat

They were bundled into the back of a van 

Clutching a box with the eggs and the chicks

The van drove to the eastern shore

When they got out the van was parked next to a remote chicken house

They were pushed inside and greeted by the stench of chicken poop

Vinny told them they would be living inside here 24/7

Nobody will hear if you cry out inside this remote place

In the corner there were a couple of beds and a TV

Boxes of food and water on a table

Vinny led them to a section at the end that was partitioned

It was full of pipes vessels and barrels

Vinny told them they would be making bootleg scotch whisky 

In addition to raising the haggis chicks

Hamish and Dougle had no idea how to make whisky

But they pretended to be experts as they looked over the equipment

Vinny told them he would be back in a week to check on them

The door closed with a thud and was chained shut outside

Hamish and Dougle were now prisoners

The chicken poop was knee deep in places

The stench burned their nostrils

We really are in deep shit now said Dougle

These guys will kill us when we fail to make whisky and raise haggis chicks

Hamish was more optimistic and turned on the TV

I have an idea he said enthusiastically