The bad car wreck*

She saw him driving too fast on a twisty road

The car was lurching at every turn

The turns got tighter and the car spun out of control before smashing into another vehicle

A sickening sound of metal crushing and glass exploding mixed with a human cry

Then……  She woke up in a cold sweat with her heart pounding

She dared her hand to reach out in the darkness and explore beside her in the bed

A warm sleeping body beside her calmed her anxiety, it was just a bad dream

She decided not to wake him to tell of her nightmare

4am blinked from the clock and she settled down again to sleep

Her body tried to relax but her mind was still racing from the horrific images

She tried to think of soothing things

The image of a blood splattered wreckage kept flashing back

Then she saw first responders cutting away the twisted metal from a dying man

How can a dream continue while I am awake she asked herself

She decided to get up and keep her eyes open

The reality of her surroundings will shut out the unwelcome thoughts

She went downstairs and made a cup of tea then slumped in her favorite chair in front of the TV

She scanned the channels and found mostly infomercials

Flick flick –magic weight loss powder

Flick flick — vegetable peeler will make you happy

Flick flick–  folding ladder will let you escape from your burning inferno bedroom

Flick flick—–News flash-—-  horrific car crash

The same image as her dream

A limp body is put into an ambulance

It can’t be” she screams.

She rushes upstairs to check on her loved one but the only thing under the covers is the pair of pillows she hugs when he is away

She runs back downstairs and catches the end of the broadcast

Police say the driver was taken to hospital in a critical condition

She is convinced that the car in her dream and on the news is her husband’s

She decides to phone the hospital, as she picks up the phone, the outside security light flashed on

A police car is outside and a uniformed figure is walking up the driveway

She knows this must be bad news

Please god no, don’t let this happen…..

The doorbell rang loudly, she froze in fear

A voice called out “good morning darling” 

Her mind was confused

Did you sleep well

She rolled over and saw her husband holding a breakfast tray

It was all a big bad dream

She tried to mask her pounding heart by stretching and yawning

She kissed him sweetly

No need for his good deed to be disrupted by her bad dream experiences

She sat up as he got into bed with their breakfast feast

Pouring the tea into a welcome mug she thanked god for not taking him

She listened to his sexy voice telling him he loved her

She smiled and looked into his eyes

He smiled back before saying to her

 “I had this awful dream last night honey

You were in a bad car wreck and the police came to tell me..

Hey watch out you are spilling that tea…..”

Kevin the cough – part 7 The cough mob (finale)

Billy rushed round again to find out was was going on

Not to worry Kevin, I’ll be back tomorrow when that suited cough comes back

The suit came back and served an eviction notice on Janet who was very upset

Billy followed the suit who met up with the head ACPB placement officer

They were in a coughbar and Billy managed to get within coughearshot

Did you serve all the coughpapers like I asked you?

Yes boss they both have cougheviction notices

OK but we have to get some smarter coughs in there soon

One’s that will find a way to get Ralph and Suzanne coughsmoking again

We are getting a cut of their coughtobacco spending from the coughmanufacturer

If they found out our coughs helped them quit we are in big coughtrouble

Billy went back to Kevin and told him what he just heard

Just sit tight Kevin and I will send some of the coughboys round to protect you and Janet

I will also find a way to solve those cougheviction notices

The next day a dozen coughs came round, Kevin knew them all from his schoolcoughdays

They formed a 24/7 coughsecurity perimeter around Ralph and Suzanne

Janet was relieved to see friendly coughs protecting them

Meanwhile the head of the ACPB placement team got a coughphone call

We just learned that two of your coughs persuaded their hosts to quit

I am sending round one of my guys to do a full coughaudit of the coughlist

You better cooperate with Vinnie or things will get coughugly

Vinnie came into the ACPB office the next day

You know why I am here don’t you?

Yes its because we messed up and two coughfolks quit smoking

So lets do an audit to see if there are others on that list said Vinnie

They proceeded to go through thousands of names over the next few days

Verifying ongoing cigarette sales records against each coughindividual

OK said Vinnie, It would appear that 17 folks should have dropped off the coughlist

You are going to pay back fifty times the annual coughkickback you get for all those 

Remember the coughdeal we have, you place mild coughs in every smoker to stop them coughquitting

We sell more cigarettes and you get a coughcut…. WIN-COUGH-WIN

But if you put stupid coughs in smokers who then quit you gotta pay a big coughpenalty 

I’ll be back tomorrow at noon to pick up the coughcash

Vinnie left and the ACPB guy started making coughphone calls to raise the coughcash

He knew he had to pay otherwise Vinnie could get coughviolent

Plus he wanted to keep those coughbribes coming in to finance his own coughaddiction habit

The next day Vinnie showed up looking for the coughmoney

The ACPB guy and his corrupt crew were all there waiting

Vinnie growled you got the coughmoney? and the ACPB guy opened a coughbag of coughnotes

Just then the door burst open and a COUGHSWAT team rushed in coughweapons drawn

NOBODY MOVE THIS IS THE COUGH B I !!! YOU ARE ALL UNDER COUGHARREST!!!!

They were all coughcuffed except Vinnie who opened his coughjacket to show a coughwire

The Cough B I boss smiled at Vinnie and said well done Billy!

There was a purge of all coughcorrupt coughofficers in the ACPB 

Kevin and Janet got letters of coughapology from the ACPB coughPresident

All the delinquent smoker’s coughs we either coughretrained or coughreplaced

Baby cough had seven coughbrothers and coughsisters

Janet gave lectures and did the coughtalk-show rounds on coughparenting

Ralph and Suzanne opened a non-smoking bar called the COUGHBGONE serving coughtails

Billy formed the smoker’s coughunion and gave seminars to coughs on how to help your host quit

Kevin was awarded the NOBEL COUGH PRIZE