
Slippery sausages sizzle
Pop crackle drizzle
Hot greasy whistle
Officially nutritiously beneficial
Chomp chomp nibble
Gristle in middle
Healthy diet dismissal
Sexy sausage swivel

Slippery sausages sizzle
Pop crackle drizzle
Hot greasy whistle
Officially nutritiously beneficial
Chomp chomp nibble
Gristle in middle
Healthy diet dismissal
Sexy sausage swivel

Outdoor grilling was a challenge for me at first
Having been to many grilling parties
Seeing all the guys hanging at the grill with a beer
I believed it must be in the male genetic code to grill perfectly
My first attempts did not go well
I had left the charcoal outside and it got damp
I burned paper and wood below it
But I only made flames for a short while
Before the flames subsided to white smoke
Then the charcoal refused to ignite
I got better with dry charcoal
Using firelighters to get things going
I put the food on the grill too soon
Everything tasted like firelighters
I learned to wait until the charcoal was searing hot
Then started cooking directly over it
But the food was instantly carbonized in the extreme heat
Waiting for the charcoal to cool off was my next idea
By this time the grill was too cold to cook the food
I ended up taking everything into the kitchen to finish cooking
Of course all these efforts were not flying solo
I had the usual beer swilling male posse surrounding my grill
They all gave me a good grilling about my techniques
It took many years of charred steaks and carbonized burgers to understand it all
Learning how to rake the coals to one side and then cook on indirect heat
Meat thermometers came in to play as science replaced guess work
Gradually I learned how to grill properly over a decade or so
But just as I mastered the mysteries of cooking over burning charcoal embers
I switched over to a gas grill and had to start learning again
This time it was so much easier control the heat
Turning the knobs up or down was all I had to do
And the bonus was no more clean up of dusty ashes the day after
I only cook on gas now and it always produces great food
I still get the posse surrounding my gas grill offering advice and grilling me
But I have learned to ignore them all and just smile
The truth is you can only learn how to cook food well
By experiencing how to cook it really badly many times
Happy grilling with or without the beer swilling posse