I woke up this morning feeling very groggy

Still half asleep with a banging sore head

A real bad hangover feeling

Unable to remember what I drank last night

It must have been a lot 

because I could not remember anything at all

Then things slowly started to come back into focus

I did not drink anything alcoholic at all yesterday

In fact I have not drank anything since New Year’s Eve

My goal is to complete a dry January

Well not all of January but at least until Burns Night

For that is an essential drinking night for all true Scotsmen

My fake hangover today was from my head cold symptoms

Which coincidentally started on January 1st

Just my luck to stop drinking and be rewarded with a never ending fake hangover

I feel cheated in having a 3 day hangover without the buzz of drinking

There must be credits owed to me by the hangover gods

At least 3 credits worth a drink or two with no hangovers

With conditions that they could be used back to back

And that I can transfer them to a friend if need be

Or trade them for eating big meal credits without weight gain

Maybe with enough credits I could by a gastronomic timeshare

One that lets me spend an entire week of fine dining and adult beverages

With a guarantee of no weight gain or hangovers

But wait that timeshare would probably cost hundreds of credits

Requiring me to suffer a few dozen bouts of cold or flu

It would take me decades of dry times to earn that timeshare

I will settle for this cold to get better in a day or so

Then I shall blow all my credits on Robbie Burns birthday

Cough! Cough! Sneeze!……………..Slàinte Mhaith