I just finished
All my spinach
Been a tussle
Growing muscle
Wannabe a tough guy
Biceps like Popeye
Despite the toil
Limbs like Olive Oyl
Its a mortal sin
Arms stayed so thin
Belly is fat
Instead of flat
Mr Universe dream
Ran out of steam
Fat ass now on couch
500 reps of slouch
Diet stuck in first gear
Open another beer
pass the remote
Snacks down throat
Wearing loose clothes
Over my speedos
as she was leaving the house
she yelled out one last instruction
remember to feed the dog
alright he replied in an angry tone
he rolled his eyes as the door closed
peace at last he said to himself
now I can do what I want all day
without her nagging me
the dog looked up at him with big loving eyes
he was too lazy to take him for a walk
pushing him into the back yard
go run around by yourself he said
he flicked on the TV and opened a beer
the couch groaned as he slumped down
snacks spilled onto the floor
he trampled them into the carpet
his phone dinged signaling a text from her
he turned it off in defiance
I can read it later he thought
this is my time now
he fell asleep after the fifth beer
woken by the dog whimpering at the door
he let the poor animal in from the cold
the dog greeted him with unconditional love
I cannot go on like this he thought
I have to try and be a better person
he fed the dog and cleaned the entire house
then fixed everything that had been long broken
he went shopping and bought her flowers
prepared a romantic dinner for her return
after showering he turned on his phone
her text said I AM LEAVING YOU
I just finished
All my spinach
Been a tussle
Growing muscle
Wannabe a tough guy
Biceps like Popeye
Despite the toil
Limbs like Olive Oyl
Its a mortal sin
Arms stayed so thin
Belly is fat
Instead of flat
Mr Universe dream
Ran out of steam
Fat ass now on couch
500 reps of slouch
Diet stuck in first gear
Open another beer
pass the remote
Snacks down throat
Wearing loose clothes
Over my speedos
as she was leaving the house
she yelled out one last instruction
remember to feed the dog
alright he replied in an angry tone
he rolled his eyes as the door closed
peace at last he said to himself
now I can do what I want all day
without her nagging me
the dog looked up at him with big loving eyes
he was too lazy to take him for a walk
pushing him into the back yard
go run around by yourself he said
he flicked on the TV and opened a beer
the couch groaned as he slumped down
snacks spilled onto the floor
he trampled them into the carpet
his phone dinged signaling a text from her
he turned it off in defiance
I can read it later he thought
this is my time now
he fell asleep after the fifth beer
woken by the dog whimpering at the door
he let the poor animal in from the cold
the dog greeted him with unconditional love
I cannot go on like this he thought
I have to try and be a better person
he fed the dog and cleaned the entire house
then fixed everything that had been long broken
he went shopping and bought her flowers
prepared a romantic dinner for her return
after showering he turned on his phone
her text said I AM LEAVING YOU
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 