Category: travel

Road trip

Ian Hunter1 Comment

Road trips are so much fun

A change of scenery for a while

See some new places

Visit old friends

Make some new ones

Check out the countryside

See how others live

Take a different road

Make a wrong turning

Get lost

Blame GPS

Blame your spouse

Spouse blames you

Fight over directions

Cannot find a bathroom

Bladder pain excruciating 

Dingy gas station

Filthy bathroom

No choice

Instant relief

No washing facilities

Empty bottle of hand sanitizer

Time to eat lunch

Nowhere nice to picnic

Eat in the car

Spill drinks everywhere

Open case for change of clothes

Not PBJ sandwiches again

Drop sandwich between seats

Start of another science experiment

Rolling again

Bored with Sirius radio

Books on tape playing

Depressing book

All doom gloom and suffering

Tune to a local radio station

Music is very cheesy

DJ spouts conspiracy theories

We must be in a bad place

People look so strange here

All driving pickups

Probably all armed militia

Our Lexus looks out of place

We could be murdered

No stopping

Drive faster

No eye contact with other drivers

Who decided on this road trip

Never again

Life is like a road trip

Ian Hunter3 Comments

Life is like a road trip

Sometimes you realize you are not going in the right direction

WRONG WAY

When this happens you must go back

U TURN

Don’t worry if things get too hectic

Its OK to reduce your speed

SLOW DOWN

If you are really reckless and moving too fast

Other may step in and force you to go slower

SPEED HUMPS

There are times when you just have to take a rest and chill

STOP

Be adventurous and explore

There are however places where you should never go

DO NOT ENTER

Occasionally you will find yourself in a blind alley

DEAD END

There may be many ways to get to your destination

If you follow a crowd, they will choose your direction

ONE WAY

If you are tired of running, step off the path

EXIT

Its never all plain sailing

People may try to block your path

Don’t fight them, instead find a way around peacefully 

DETOUR

Be courteous when meeting others moving in your path

GIVE WAY

When you get to your destination, make sure you stop in the right place

NO PARKING

Never overstay your welcome

3 HOUR LIMIT

life is like a road trip

Don’t blow it

if you are feeling listless

Ian Hunter2 Comments

If you are feeling listless

Make yourself a list

A list of things to do

A list of things to buy

A list of places to go

A list of people to see

A list of things to fix around your home

A list of what you miss most

A list of all your regrets

A list of all the people you have loved

A list of all the people you have hurt

A list of all the people you have lost

A list of all the people who bring you down

A list of all the people you admire

A list of all the people you lust for

A list of all the clever people you know

A list of all the dumb people you wish you had never met

A list of your favorite songs

A list of all the songs you hate

A list of the best TV shows to watch

A list of books you must read

A list of things to pack for your trip

A list of all the things you forgot to take on that trip

A list of all the things you should never have taken on that trip

A list of all the mistakes you made on that trip

A list of all the funny things that happened on that trip

A list of all the random thoughts you had yesterday

A list of all the swear words you use when things are going bad

A list of the languages you want to learn

A list of all the language classes you started but never finished

A list of the times you said nothing instead of apologizing

A list of 

A list of every list you ever wrote

A list of your list lists

Are you still feeling listless?

Sleep Trek

Ian HunterLeave a comment

 The final frontier

These are the voyages of the Sleepship Dreamerprise

Its continuing mission

To explore strange new worlds

To seek out new life and new civilizations

To boldly dream where no one has dreamt before

Cue the cheesy music

And you are off

On an eight hour voyage

That can cover light years

Powered by impulse engines

Fueled by your imagination

Traveling at warp speed factor loud snore

Scotty runs the engine room

I cannae hold it much longer Captain

He tells you in his fake Scottish accent

Mr Spock has funny pointy ears

He speaks in endless boring ruminations

On the nature of humanity

And whether we will overcome our differences

To reach the end of our dreams

Mr Sulu is at the helm

Ready to take your dream

 Wherever you command

It may be scary or wildly erotic

It will certainly be unbelievable 

McCoy is your chief medical officer

He will fix you up if you get hurt

With his blinking magic wand

Uhura is your communications officer

She can understand any alien language

She wears a ridiculously short mini skirt

Suddenly an alien dreamship appears

Its those ugly Klingons again

They pretend their ship is invisible

By throwing a cloak over it

But you know all their tricks

You beam aboard for a confrontation

To tell them you will never meet their demands

When they go for their weapons

You reach for your flip phone and yell

Beam me up Scotty

Then the bloody alarm clock wakes you up

Things I like to do but not in preferential order

Ian HunterLeave a comment
Chilling

I like to swim in the pool

well to be truthful I like to float more than swim

it requires minimal effort 

and you can just let your troubles float way

soaking in the hot tub at night is divine

slowly cooking under the stars

while listening to soothing music

sipping single malt whisky completes the decadence

riding my bike fast gives me a buzz

feeling the wind in my face

watching my heart rate elevate on my bike computer

my heart must have a limiter because it won’t go above 175

a walk in the countryside is so rewarding

observing nature and bird watching

you can see lots more when you move along slowly

animals can sense when you are not a threat to them

sometimes all I want is to sit alone in my back yard

watching watermen collect crabs in the bay

listening to the soothing waterfall in my pool

peaceful relaxing quiet solitude is my serene treasure

I am most at home when tinkering in my garage

building something or just mending stuff

I listen to exceptionally loud rock music while alone there

Every man should have a man-cave retreat

fine dining is tickles my tastebuds

especially in the company of good friends

wine helps folks loosen up and make the conversation flow

alcohol is the WD40 for fixing shy and reserved party guests

they say that travel broadens the mind

I have been fortunate to travel worldwide 

seeing many different cultures and fascinating places

I think my mind must be a mile wide now

No fresh bananas on a space rocket

Ian Hunter2 Comments

I ate a banana this morning

it was perfectly ripe

what a supply chain miracle

to pick green bananas

thousands of miles from me

pack them into refrigerated containers

move them by ship to a port

transport them to a ripening center

then to the local supermarket

where I can buy them fresh

the whole journey can take many weeks

with carefully managed processes

different people involved in packing and transporting

all working towards bringing me a banana for breakfast

it would be nice to thank them

tell them I appreciate what they do

but its unlikely I will ever see any of them

except perhaps the lady at the checkout

maybe one day I will visit a banana plantation

pick out my own bunch of bananas

ride with them on trucks and ships

a sort of banana road trip and cruise

saying thank you to all along the journey

finishing at the supermarket

smiling at the checkout lady

before devouring my banana for breakfast

it will taste even more delicious

having seen it on a tree

and having followed it all the way to my home

banana tours will be more fun than space travel

no fresh bananas on a space rocket

Put some travel in your belly*

Ian Hunter4 Comments

I have been so fortunate to travel extensively

exploring many places and seeing spectacular sights

tasting some incredible food along the way

the pandemic put a big damper on all travel

I had to find other ways to satisfy my travel urges

travel documentaries are fun but its not the same as being there

I seem to gravitate toward travel shows with a culinary theme

then the penny dropped

I can still travel around the world while staying at home

I just have to eat my way to different places

some nice fresh sushi sends me to Japan

moussaka magically has me mingling in Greece

nasi goreng has me noodling around Indonesia

swedish meatballs send me to Sweden

a rice and beans dish races me to Mexico

pho floats me all the way to Vietnam

pizza and ice cream puts me firmly in Italy

Irish stew with a Guinness has me shipped to Ireland 

kibbeh kicks me over to Lebanon

ceviche has me salivating in Peru

I can sip a fine port and be pondering in Portugal

a spicy chicken vindaloo curry whisks me off to India

magret de canard with a glass of Bordeaux makes me go to France

tapas takes me straight to Spain

moules frites has me mulling around Belgium

doner kebab delivers me to Turkey

poutine has me plodding around Canada

hot dogs heroically have me habitating in USA

Peking duck propels me to China

roast beef dinners religiously deliver me to England

haggis and a fine single malt heave me all the way to Scotland

pad Thai puts me perfectly into Thailand

dim sums deliberately drive me to Hong Kong

when my travel belly gets really big and pendulous

I check myself into solitary confinement for some dreary travel free dieting