I stayed up late last night

trying to fix our Sonos sound system

it got in a funk when I changed the wireless router

it was romantically attached to the old network

I tried everything to fix it

youtube videos galore

spotty teenagers explaining it all 

internet searches for similar problems

Sonos simply refused to cooperate

it was upset and got all moody

Alexa joined in the gang

she stopped obeying commands

she kept saying “I don’t know that skill”

it became a technology revolt

other systems failed in a cascade

the smart door lock would not unlock

security cameras went blank

the air printer would not connect to the wifi network

suddenly the smart HVAC thermostat went AWOL

the pool heating controller pretended it was not there

our smart TV stopped all streaming services

smart plugs started acting dumb and would not turn on

the landscape lighting timer froze

the irrigation system ran 24/7

our home security system was full of error messages

the more I tried to fix Sonos

the more smart things went wrong

they are obviously in a gang

a brotherhood of technology misfits

I was determined not lose this technology war

in retaliation I unplugged them all

time to go back to the simple life

where you open the door with a key

I could live without Alexa

she is a dumb bunny at the best of times

who really needs internet radio

I found my my trusty old LPs

but my record player would not spin for some reason

I unearthed my old cassette tape player and music tapes

it got the failing technology message and the tapes kept jamming

our home was infected with the bad technology virus