An egg called Oliver was laughing in the egg production plant

What is so funny asked Nancy next to him

I just got laid said Oliver

Nancy just groaned at such a practical yolker

Oliver was the eternal optimist

He he told Nancy he would be hatched into a chick

Nancy kept telling him they were all doomed

She told Oliver to stop being such an Eggistentialist 

You will soon be Oliver the omelette said Nancy

Perhaps mixed with ham and cheese

Or just boiled alive for three minutes

You are just eggsagerating said Oliver

In no time at all the eggs were washed and packed

Nancy wept next to Oliver in the carton

It will all be over soon she cried

Oliver remained calm but could not contain his eggcitement

I am going on an adventure said Oliver

I was born to be a eggsplorer

Nancy told him technically you are only born after hatching

Eggsactly true so I get to be born twice said Oliver

Soon the eggs were in a supermarket on a shelf

The carton was briefly opened to check for cracked eggs

Then it was a short ride to their new home

All the eggs cried except Oliver who remained eggstatic

Put the eggs in the fridge carefully said the mother

The young girl picked them out one at a time

When she picked up Oliver he seized the moment

Please do not put me in the fridge little girl

She took him back to her bedroom

Oliver told her he was going to hatch into her pet chick

The little girl made a nest for him on her pillow 

That night Oliver rolled off her pillow and smashed on the tiled floor

Alice brought the boys inside

just then a text came in from Dave

my brother was in a bad car wreck

I am driving to the hospital to see him

so sorry replied Alice what can I do to help

feed the boys dinner please replied Dave

can they stay with you

I may not be back until tomorrow

she gave the boys dinner

 they settled down in front of the TV

there was only one more text from Dave

not looking good so I will stay here tonight

the next morning she made breakfast for the boys

they each had laptops to do schoolwork

the elder boy Jimmy said his laptop was broken

Alice set him up to use her computer

the boys spent all morning doing homework

such great kids thought Alice

not wasting their time on video games

she sent Dave a text but there was no reply

she asked the boys if Dave had said anything to them

dad said he had a family emergency and we were to stay with you

by late afternoon there was still no text from Dave

her calls to him went straight to voicemail

Alice felt something was not right

she decided to drive across town to Daves house

telling the boys she was going to the store and would be back in an hour

she pulled up at his house and saw the front door wide open

she walked inside and the place was totally empty

can I help you said a man at the open door

I am looking for my boyfriend Dave she said

the man told her Dave had loaded a van and vacated the house that morning

Dave tried to open the washing machine

But the door was locked mid cycle

He hissed at Laura who instinctively backed away

He went out to the garage

Returning with a large sledgehammer

Smashing the glass door to retrieve his phone 

Soapy water spilled onto the kitchen floor

He tried to turn it on but the broken screen would not light up

He hurled it against the wall in rage

Laura cowered in the corner

Dave turned to her and said this is your last chance now 

Either you with me to buy us both new phones or we are done

Laura was too afraid to speak

She slowly shook her head and waited in fear

Dave walked out and slammed the front door

He drove off fast like a maniac

Knocking over the mailbox in a cloud of dust

After a lifetime of relying on the GPS navigation in his phone

He could not remember how to get to phone store

He tried typing ATT into the car navigation system

But it kept flashing error messages

He desperately tried to reprogram the directions

The car left the road and glanced off a tree

Speeding into a ditch which flipped the vehicle skyward into a rolling spin

He flinched when the car landed upside down in a field 

Laura was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen

She picked up his smashed wet phone and held it lovingly

Recalling all the fun times they had captured with it

She put it in a bag with her own wrecked phone

Wrapping a bright red ribbon around the bag

She dug a hole in back yard and gently placed the bag at the bottom

Carefully covering it with dirt while reciting a burial prayer  

You two brought Dave and I together briefly and you will both lay here eternally

Laura opened the door

Before she could decide what to say

Dave flung his arms around her begging for forgiveness

It felt so good to be held by him again

He asked her if he could move back in

She did not say yes or no

Dave never waited for her answer

He just assumed she would agree

He asked why she had not answered his calls earlier today

Laura had to think fast on her feet 

Now was not the time to tell him everything

She said her phone was in her jeans and got washed by mistake

No worries said Dave we can get you a new one tomorrow 

Do you want to go out to Dinner he asked

As her pulled up their list of favorite restaurants on his phone

Laura felt like Dave really wanted to take his phone out to dinner

She said lets eat at home instead

With a few taps on the screen he ordered Thai food

Oh look Doordash just picked it up 

Dave was glued to his phone

The App says the driver will be here in 7 minutes

Laura felt ignored and neglected

She opened a bottle of wine and poured two glasses

Dave went to the door to meet the delivery guy

He took pictures of their food

Posted them on facebook

He never commented on the food itself

He just looked at his phone while eating

He drank the wine without thanking her for it

Laura thought the food was cold and bland

Dave never bothered to ask her if she liked the meal

She was bored and frustrated while she ate 

She refilled their glasses

Dave gulped his down while browsing FaceBook

She wanted to lure him off his phone

After dinner she snuggled up to him

Lets have some intimacy time she whispered

That got his attention fast

But Dave insisted on taking more selfies

Both before and after sex