Category: short story

the long haul trucker – part 2

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There was a long silence after Mary announced she was a killer

Jerry decided it was best to change the subject

I aways stop at this great diner he announced

After parking he walked slightly behind Mary

She ate like person who was truly starving

Mary sliced her steak into small bites

Jerry tried not to look at the knife in her hand

Any thoughts where you will stay this evening he asked

You can leave me here said Mary

I know you are uncomfortable so its best if we part now

Jerry pointed to the help wanted sign

Hey look maybe you can get work here 

He paid the check and wished her well

She was talking to the manager as he left

No more riders he said to himself 

Even the innocent looking ones can be crazy

He drove a couple more hours to the rest stop

Setting up his bunk

Checking the doors were locked three times

It took him a while to fall asleep

He started driving early the next day

Even while listening to books on tape

His mind kept drifting back to Mary 

Wondering what she was doing now

He pulled into the freight yard to drop his load

There was another load waiting for him to pick up

Soon he would be heading back east again

When it started to rain he thought about Mary again

It was still raining at the truck stop

Getting fuel before dashing inside for a coffee

He ran through the rain back to his truck 

Mary was sitting in the passenger seat smiling

The long haul trucker – Part 1

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Jerry was a long haul trucker

Driving all day and sleeping in his cab at night

He enjoyed the solitude and being a king of the road

Listening to music or books on tape kept him entertained

He owned his own tractor unit

Getting paid to haul loaded trailers

He was his own boss

No corporate rules to follow

He rarely gave people rides

When he did it was with caution

One never knows how crazy people are

Especially those characters who roam the open roads

It was a rainy Tuesday morning as he pulled into a fuel stop

After paying he ran back to his rig 

A woman was standing in front of his truck

She was drenched and asked for a ride

She was young and he took pity on her

As they pulled out she started to talk

Her name was Mary

Her parents died when she was young

She had lived in orphanages and foster homes

Now roaming and looking for casual work

She had no family or ties to any place

Jerry noticed she was very confident

She had no ambitions to settle down

Preferring to travel coast to coast

With just a small bag of possessions

Letting fate decide her destinations

Are you ever afraid of being picked up by a crazy he asked

Oh not at all said Mary

One time a driver tried to hurt me

I killed him with my knife and set fire to his rig

The cruel teacher and the little Beatle

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I grew up in very low income community near Liverpool

I did not enjoy my schooldays mainly because the teachers were not very pleasant

The class sizes were large, we had almost fifty kids in mine

A fair number of them behaved badly so it was a constant battle for the teachers to maintain any kind of order

The teachers probably hated their jobs and dreamed of teaching in a school with better behaved kids

The Beatles were hitting fame when I was ten years old and my sister played their music at home

I fell in love with the Beatles sound and wanted to be just like them

I grew my hair long to imitate their looks

I wore a grey polo neck sweater and carried around an acoustic guitar

It had no strings but it was better that playing an air guitar

I remember clearly one day at school

The teacher was trying to explain how education was the foundation for our future lives and how important it was to work hard and learn

I was sitting at the back of the class and the kids around me were chatting away ignoring him

He blew up in a rage yelling silence silence and stormed towards us

He picked on me and dragged me to the front of the class

He proceed to tell the class that I was an example of somebody who was failing at school

He predicted that I would continue to fail and would eventually leave school without any qualifications and be doomed to work my entire adult life in low paid jobs

He criticized my appearance and said it was a symbol of me being a bad student

He told all the other kids that they should work hard in school or they would end up being losers like me

I felt angry that he had picked on me and humiliated because I did not believe I was part of the unruly gang in my class

My parents were much better role models than that cruel teacher

Thanks to them I did well at that school and was one of only two in my class to pass the academic test for eleven year olds to enter a school that groomed us for university

All the other kids went to a school which steered them towards blue collar employment

I eventually became an engineer and had a successful career

In later years I thought about going back to that school to find that teacher and tell him how wrong he was about me

Next time I visited the area I discovered that my school had been demolished

Cruel teacher, bad school but a good little Beatle

Kevin the cough – part 7 The cough mob (finale)

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Billy rushed round again to find out was was going on

Not to worry Kevin, I’ll be back tomorrow when that suited cough comes back

The suit came back and served an eviction notice on Janet who was very upset

Billy followed the suit who met up with the head ACPB placement officer

They were in a coughbar and Billy managed to get within coughearshot

Did you serve all the coughpapers like I asked you?

Yes boss they both have cougheviction notices

OK but we have to get some smarter coughs in there soon

One’s that will find a way to get Ralph and Suzanne coughsmoking again

We are getting a cut of their coughtobacco spending from the coughmanufacturer

If they found out our coughs helped them quit we are in big coughtrouble

Billy went back to Kevin and told him what he just heard

Just sit tight Kevin and I will send some of the coughboys round to protect you and Janet

I will also find a way to solve those cougheviction notices

The next day a dozen coughs came round, Kevin knew them all from his schoolcoughdays

They formed a 24/7 coughsecurity perimeter around Ralph and Suzanne

Janet was relieved to see friendly coughs protecting them

Meanwhile the head of the ACPB placement team got a coughphone call

We just learned that two of your coughs persuaded their hosts to quit

I am sending round one of my guys to do a full coughaudit of the coughlist

You better cooperate with Vinnie or things will get coughugly

Vinnie came into the ACPB office the next day

You know why I am here don’t you?

Yes its because we messed up and two coughfolks quit smoking

So lets do an audit to see if there are others on that list said Vinnie

They proceeded to go through thousands of names over the next few days

Verifying ongoing cigarette sales records against each coughindividual

OK said Vinnie, It would appear that 17 folks should have dropped off the coughlist

You are going to pay back fifty times the annual coughkickback you get for all those 

Remember the coughdeal we have, you place mild coughs in every smoker to stop them coughquitting

We sell more cigarettes and you get a coughcut…. WIN-COUGH-WIN

But if you put stupid coughs in smokers who then quit you gotta pay a big coughpenalty 

I’ll be back tomorrow at noon to pick up the coughcash

Vinnie left and the ACPB guy started making coughphone calls to raise the coughcash

He knew he had to pay otherwise Vinnie could get coughviolent

Plus he wanted to keep those coughbribes coming in to finance his own coughaddiction habit

The next day Vinnie showed up looking for the coughmoney

The ACPB guy and his corrupt crew were all there waiting

Vinnie growled you got the coughmoney? and the ACPB guy opened a coughbag of coughnotes

Just then the door burst open and a COUGHSWAT team rushed in coughweapons drawn

NOBODY MOVE THIS IS THE COUGH B I !!! YOU ARE ALL UNDER COUGHARREST!!!!

They were all coughcuffed except Vinnie who opened his coughjacket to show a coughwire

The Cough B I boss smiled at Vinnie and said well done Billy!

There was a purge of all coughcorrupt coughofficers in the ACPB 

Kevin and Janet got letters of coughapology from the ACPB coughPresident

All the delinquent smoker’s coughs we either coughretrained or coughreplaced

Baby cough had seven coughbrothers and coughsisters

Janet gave lectures and did the coughtalk-show rounds on coughparenting

Ralph and Suzanne opened a non-smoking bar called the COUGHBGONE serving coughtails

Billy formed the smoker’s coughunion and gave seminars to coughs on how to help your host quit

Kevin was awarded the NOBEL COUGH PRIZE

Kevin the cough – part 6 The plan

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Kevin did not know what to do so he sent a message for Billy who came round fast

Hey Kevin this is a really difficult situation you got going on man

Its strictly forbidden for any cough to have a relationship like this

They only allow it if both hosts are living together already

So what am I going to do? asked Kevin

Janet is going to have a baby and her host is single

Well there is only one way to make this work said Billy

We have to get Ralph and Suzanne hooked up

Then you and Janet can be together 24/7

Billy whispered the details to Kevin

Next time Ralph was with his drinking friends, Kevin made sure he coughed a lot

Especially when his friends were talking

They got very annoyed and told Ralph to get his cough checked out

Ralph agreed to go see his doctor and of course he had another coughing fit there

The doc asked Ralph how much he smoked and rolled his eyes

Look Ralph let me put this clear and straight to you

Give up smoking immediately and start exercising

Eat healthier food and cut down on the booze

Otherwise you will be dead soon, this lifestyle is killing you

Ralph went into shock and quit smoking immediately

He took on a personal trainer who gave him a healthy eating plan

Within six weeks Ralph was looking like a new man

He even had a haircut and bought some new clothes

He still went to the same bar but drank lite beer instead of hard liquor

All his friends were making fun of the new Ralph

The commotion caught the attention of Suzanne the cute bartender

She called Ralph over saying I need to ask you something

Whispering to him can you help me give up smoking because its done wonders for you

Sure I will Suzanne, come round and see me after work

And so a friendship developed between the two of them

Allowing Kevin and Janet to spend a lot of time together

A few months later Suzanne developed a little baby cough

Kevin was now a proud dad and deliriously happy

Suzanne moved in with Ralph and they were all two big happy coughing families

The years passed without any drama and baby cough grew bigger

One day a cough showed up in a suit asking for Kevin

Handing him an envelope saying you have been served

Inside there was an eviction notice

You gotta leave soon because your placement is being terminated 

I’ll be back tomorrow to serve papers to Janet said the suited cough

Kevin the cough – part 5 The love affair

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Kevin signed the contract and reported for duty the next day

A temporary cough was waiting for him with Ralph

This is not a difficult gig said the temporary cough

Remember to make him cough a lot when he wakes up or exercises

And when he overdoes it smoking weed

Otherwise be gentle on him and let him enjoy life

I think I can handle that said Kevin

Good luck then said the temporary cough as he left

Kevin now had a new host and he checked out Ralph’s apartment

The kitchen was a mess with mostly beer in the fridge

Ashtrays overflowed everywhere and the place had a funny smell

A mixture of stale beer and yesterday’s pizza

Ralph shuffled around in a dressing gown like the big Lebowski

Maybe I am in a move set though Kevin

Ralph made coffee and rolled a joint while watching TV news

He pulled out his phone to read a text Pool challenge 1pm be there!

Ralph took a ridiculously long shower

Stepping out frequently to take a hit on a joint

Then he got dressed and wandered down toward the local bar

Kevin felt Ralph was struggling on a hill so he made him cough

There were three dudes at the bar waiting for Ralph

Friendly insults were thrown before they started their pool challenge

Kevin popped out to join the other coughs at the bar

Oh you are the new cough for Ralph said Eddy

Welcome to the gang and they all high fived

We meet up here regularly so you are going to have fun

Kevin noted the cute bartender was coughing a lot

Wait till you meet Suzanne’s cough said Eddy, she is a real stunner

Then out pops Suzanne’s cough heading straight to Kevin

Hi my name is Janet and you must be Ralph’s new cough

Kevin was mesmerized by this beautiful creature 

Er er yes I am Kevin he stuttered as she smiled and gave him a big hug

It was love at first sight for Kevin

He was on cloud nine and they chatted endlessly

Looks like you hit it off with Janet said Eddy

Kevin just smiled and popped back into Ralph who was ready to leave

Ralph went home to smoke a couple of joints and then fell asleep in front of the TV

Kevin noted that Ralph rarely ate at all which was what he was so thin

He was not in bad shape for a full time hippy but he did smoke a lot

A few days later Kevin saw Janet back at the bar while Ralph was playing poker

I have 30 mins off for lunch Kevin, lets step out in the alley for a breath of fresh air

Soon they were kissing passionately, Kevin was in heaven 

Fortunately Ralph frequented that bar often and the love affair blossomed

The next time they stepped into the Alley, Janet said I have something to tell you Kevin

I am coughpregnant

Kevin the cough – part 4 The placement

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Billy took Kevin down to the Adult Cough Placement Bureau

They went through a maize of corridors and unmarked doors

Eventually reaching the application for placement office

Billy explained they make it hard to find to make sure applicants are motivated

Kevin took a number and waited to be called

Just tell them you are done with being a juvenile cough

Say you must have an adult host soon or you are going to give up being a cough

Kevin figured out that you had to push these folks

His number was called and he went to the desk

At first the clerk was reluctant to give him the forms

Saying he needed more experience in juvenile coughing

Kevin did as Billy said and threatened to give up coughing

The clerk handed Kevin a bunch of forms

Lets fill them out now said Billy

He coached Kevin on what to write 

Explaining that short term cough gigs were almost impossible to get

Making sure he did not get placed with a lonely old lady

Kevin painted a false picture of himself as a rebel cough up for adventure

Somebody willing to take risks and new challenges

Billy read through his forms and grinned with approval

Kevin handed in the forms and was told to come back next week

He went back to his teenage host hoping it would be short term

Looking at how badly these adolescents behaved made him sad

They used to cute adorable kids a few years ago

Now they shitty little monsters giving their loving parents hell

Kevin was extra annoying to his teenage host all week

Soon he was back at the ACPB in the waiting room

He was called back to meet with a senior cough officer

OK Kevin I understand that you are desperate to leave the junior cough world

Its time for me to move on and I am committed to the change

Well as long as you understand this is going to be a long term placement

No more cough hopping or casual coughing

Once you sign up its no turning back

Just show me where to sign please

OK we have assigned you to a 50 yearly guy called Ralph

He is an aging hippy who chain smokes and drinks a lot

His resident cough got to retire so there is a vacancy

I’ll take it said Kevin eagerly

Before you sign you must understand that your cough ID will be changed

No longer will it say ‘mildly irritating’ it will be changed to ‘smoker’s’

Kevin took a deep breath 

Smoker’s coughs were regarded as outcasts by the cough community

The only social contacts they have are with other smoker’s coughs

So whats it going to be Kevin?

Kevin the cough – part 3 The education

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Kevin thanked Billy and said he was going to start school

Enjoy and hope to see you in the playground Kevin

Billy went back to find another 10 year old 

Kevin found himself a first day at school host

He soon settled into the routine of school life

Doing his best not to annoy his host too much

He bonded with all the other coughs at school

There were usually five or six in each class

Sometimes they conspired to disrupt a lesson for fun

Inducing a cough in every host kid at the exact same time

Usually when the teacher was starting to say something

Inevitably the teacher would blame the kids for doing this on purpose

And they would be sent out of the classroom for punishment

One day after school Kevin was with his 7 year old host

The kid was supposed to stay inside the yard and play but he wandered outside

Kevin saw he was about to cross the street without looking

He sprung into action and ran up the windpipe to block off his airway

The kid could not breathe and stood still just as a car went by inches from him

Kevin unblocked the airway and the kid gasped loudly

He had saved the boy and hoped he had learned a lesson

Kevin moved along to a 12 year old host who was being bullied

The kid did not want to tell his parents and wanted stand up to the bully

Unfortunately the Bully was was bigger and each day the kid lost the fight

Kevin knew he had to do something to help the kid beat the bully

Next time they fought, Keven went inside the bully and started kicking his lungs hard

The Bully started coughing and Kevin kicked harder

The kid was able seize on the hesitation and knocked the bully down

Tears flowed from the bully and the rest of the kids cheered

That was the end of bullying in that school

Time marched on and Kevin was soon with older kids

He did not enjoy being with teenagers

Hormonal moodiness and rebellious behavior was no fun at all

Especially the underage drinking and throwing up 

He met with his friend Billy and asked for advice

Billy you gotta help me get away from these spotty teenagers

How do I find an adult host?

Well its more complicated because you cannot pop into them like with kids

You have to apply for a placement and wait for a transfer approval

How on earth do I do all that Billy?

You have to go to the ACPB and make an application

What is the ACPB Billy?

Adult Cough Placement Bureau 

Sounds like a Bureaucratic nightmare Billy, will you come with me tomorrow?

Kevin the cough – part 2 The cough-along

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Kevin turned round to see another cough on the stairs

Hi I am Billy and I am with the 10 year old

Hi Billy I am Kevin and just arrived with the baby

Lets go hang out and watch some TV

They stole some snacks and put on Netflix at low volume

Let watch an action movie said Kevin, its too quiet inside that baby all day

How long you been doing the baby circuit asked Billy

All my life, its all I can remember doing but its getting boring

You should move up to older kids and have more fun

I am afraid of older kids medication hurting me said Kevin

We have ways of dealing with that so don’t worry Kevin

Seriously you should find an older kid and go to school with him

Get yourself a free education in the process

Kevin was not sure, it was well outside his comfort zone

Billy suggested Kevin go with him tomorrow for a cough-along

The two of them inside the 10 year old for the day

Just so Kevin could get a feel for it

Kevin agreed and the next morning he popped inside the boy with Billy

Once the kid was dropped off at school he ran to the playground with his friends

OK lets pop out Kevin and chill with the rest of the gang

The coughs grouped together while their hosts played before school started

Listen up said Billy I want you all to meet Kevin this is his first day with older kids

Welcome aboard Kevin said another cough, we won’t be hazing you so relax

They chatted more until the bell sounded then rushed back into their hosts

Kevin enjoyed the morning lessons and soon it was lunchtime

The cough squad met up again in the playground to hang out

Kevin said he was having fun and considering going full time

The gang said its best to start with first graders and work your way up

That way you get the benefit of a full education

Plus you get to hang out with cool cat coughs at break times

Lets go play ball on the field before the afternoon classes start

The coughs all ran over to the field for some ball game fun

Nobody other than coughs could see them, they are invisible to humans

The afternoon classes were less entertaining and Billy and Kevin got bored

They decided to play hide and seek running between the left and right lungs

Jumping around chasing each other and wrestling before they realized there was a problem

The boy was having trouble breathing and had collapsed on the floor

Sirens were blazing as first responders rushed into the classroom

Hey Kevin we gotta get out of here fast said Billy

If those medics find us in here we will be toast

Kevin the cough – part 1 The early years

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The anxious parents carried their baby into the doctor’s office

Telling the doctor the baby had a cough

The doctor examined the baby and confirmed something was in his lungs

Keven the cough knew his time was up

This baby would soon be getting medication that would irritate Kevin

Time to move on and find another baby host to hang out inside

Kevin was a good cough and never life threatening

He was at worst a mildly annoying cough

Kevin wandered down to the daycare center looking for a new host

A dozen infants we’re being cared for

He approached the first one and somebody yelled at him

Find another kid man,  I am already inside this one

So Sorry said Kevin and he moved to the next one quietly

Slipping inside and settling in the lungs for a nap

He woke up when the kid was being taken home

Stealing some food and milk passing by as the child got fed

This baby food is quite tasty thought Kevin

These parents obviously buy the right food for their kid

He was settling down for the night so Kevin went to sleep too

Kevin woke up sweating and sensed something was wrong

The kid was overheating because he had too many blankets

He had to act fast or the kid may overheat and have a seizure

Kevin started jumping up and down in the lungs 

Soon the child was coughing and waking up

Kevin continued to jump around and irritated the infant who cried loudly

The parents picked up the noise and rushed in

Picking up the baby and comforting him

This room is far too hot said the mother turn down the thermostat

OK and Lets put one less blanket on him said the father

Kevin was relieved that the parents were learning

Especially these folks who already had two older children and should know better

He was amazed how inexperienced some parents were

Frequently he had to intervene to bring attention to things

Kevin was like the good samaritan cough

He had been working the infant population all his short life

If you could chose a cough for your child it would certainly be Kevin

Kevin often went walkabout during the night

Once everybody was asleep he decided to sneak downstairs and watch TV

As he was walking down the stairs a voice yelled out to him

Where do you think you are going?