Category: relationships

Why men hate shopping with their partner

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Men like to shop fast  

Planning their attack 

Like a hunting expedition

Identifying the prey in advance 

A quick territorial raid

Then a swift kill before a rapid retreat

Women prefer to shop slowly

Making long lists in advance

But stopping to browse at everything

Picking things up to feel, smell and shake them

Often changing their minds

Buying groceries is akin to picking berries in a field

How long will a man stay calm

When shopping with his partner

Usually half an hour at most

Boredom is replaced by frustration

He will typically seek an escape

I’ll wait for you in the car honey

Most couples shop individually

Wives left to browse the aisles alone

Husbands at home shop on line

Thats the beauty of Amazon

Its available whenever a man wants

Watching football and killing a shirt at half time

The wife lugs bulging bags back home

While he watches the end of the game

She expects praise for her thrifty gatherings

Holding up each item with reverence

Look at this great shirt I got for you honey

He stabs his phone and secretly cancels the Amazon shirt  

The amorous owl

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darkness shrouds the bay late evening

the marsh settles down to sleep

intense blackness amplifies every sound

footsteps of a deer leaving the forest

seeking out green pastures to graze

birds have settled down to roost

small mammals find shelter and rest

raccoons come out to play in gangs

looking for mischief like unruly teenagers

suddenly an owl hoots

hoot hoot

deadly silence follows his call

potential prey seek deeper cover

fearing this nocturnal hunter may attack

the raccoons briefly pause

they know an owl can take them down

the owl hoots again

hoot hoot

a second owl answers his call

hoot hoot 

hoot hoot

She is saying I am over here

I am coming to visit you he hoots

hoot hoot

hoot hoot

the raccoons burst into laughter

fits of raccoon giggles over amorous owls

Suddenly the owl swoops by

raccoons all run for cover in panic

the owl flies on towards his mate

he knows he can find food later

he has other plans right now

deer continue nocturnal grazing totally unabashed

hoot hoot

hoot hoot

the delinquent raccoon gangs decide to call it a night

Don’t throw away all the memories*

Ian Hunter1 Comment

his wife was complaining about all his stuff in the attic

he reluctantly decided to go through all the old boxes

stuff that had been put away for years

obviously not needed but for some reason never been discarded 

he sifted through the contents of the first small box

a tin box full of foreign coins

memories of his traveling days flooded back

places he had visited on business trips and vacations

images flashed through his mind for each coin he touched

an old watch that no longer worked

it was of no value except it belonged to his father

he wound it up and it started to tick

he could hear his father’s voice again

he missed him so much

a notebook from many years ago

containing wish lists of things to do and places to see

they had written it when first married

he read off each item slowly

pausing to recall the joys of each achieved wish

trying to remember why some never happened

bunches of keys from previous dwellings

he held a front door key tightly

remembering opening that door many years ago

seeing his young children run to greet him

they are grown now with kids of their own

a big old bulky calculator he used in college

reliving the hours he spent solving problems with that

the stressful times of exams

he could remember all those long hours of study

he did find some bits and broken pieces

and a collection of old pens and pencils

he carefully put them in a paper bag

before closing the box

he had removed less than ten percent of the contents

over dinner that night his wife cornered him asking if he had cleaned out everything in the attic as promised

he hesitated before saying he had cleared some of it from one small box

she pushed him harder wanting to know why he was keeping all that junk

he insisted that it might be a small box of stuff but it contained a lifetime of great memories

she could see he was getting upset and gave him a big hug

whispering to him softly “I am so sorry, please keep your boxes full of memories”

he replied “thanks, I did clear some space for us to make a few more memories”

How to improve your relationship in just six seconds

Ian Hunter6 Comments

life can be so busy

dashing around all the time

late for work again

a quick goodbye kiss

before you run out the door

hardly a minute to spare all day

rushing from work to buy groceries 

speeding home to cook dinner

greeting your partner with a quick kiss

catching up on the days events over dinner

maybe grab some time together watching a Netflix series

before you know it the evening is done

you are tired and its time for bed

a goodnight kiss then sleep

before doing it all again tomorrow

even on non-working days there is plenty to do

answering emails and texts

household chores of cleaning and laundry

bills to pay and fixing broken stuff

will you ever get to finish that DIY project

hardly a minute to spare for quality time with your partner

you are passing like ships in the night

if you are longing to reconnect

without investing a lot of time

in listening and talking about problem solving

then next time you kiss you partner

make it last for at least six seconds

do this at least three or four times every day

think of it as making a deposit in your emotional bank account

that account will grow daily with interest

you can tap into that account in times of intimacy

you will become better connected

you will both feel appreciated

stress levels will fall

your relationship health will improve

it only takes six seconds

A couch potato gets unconditional love

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as she was leaving the house

she yelled out one last instruction

remember to feed the dog 

alright he replied in an angry tone

he rolled his eyes as the door closed

peace at last he said to himself

now I can do what I want all day

without her nagging me

the dog looked up at him with big loving eyes

he was too lazy to take him for a walk

pushing him into the back yard

go run around by yourself he said

he flicked on the TV and opened a beer

the couch groaned as he slumped down

snacks spilled onto the floor

he trampled them into the carpet

his phone dinged signaling a text from her

he turned it off in defiance

I can read it later he thought

this is my time now

he fell asleep after the fifth beer

woken by the dog whimpering at the door

he let the poor animal in from the cold

the dog greeted him with unconditional love

I cannot go on like this he thought

I have to try and be a better person

he fed the dog and cleaned the entire house

then fixed everything that had been long broken

he went shopping and bought her flowers

prepared a romantic dinner for her return

after showering he turned on his phone

her text said I AM LEAVING YOU

Prisoner of silence

Ian Hunter1 Comment

I suggested music

Wake up the day

With some cool jazz

Shake to something funky

But she said no

she wanted silence

No sounds

No talking

So I entered the prison of silence

Left my power of speech at the door

Staring at blank walls

Listening only to my thoughts

Trying to understand

Why she banished me here

Sentenced to endure

The emptiness of nothing

Avoiding eye contact

We both recoiled 

Determined not to acknowledge

The other’s existence

It became a contest

A battle of wills

Waiting for the other person

To break the silent spell

Time slowed down

A ticking clock set the rhythm

I started counting

100 ticks and more

I could wait no longer

I pulled her to me

A forced kiss

She melted in my arms

I held her tight

Music filled the room

We danced out of the silent prison

Vowing never to return

I miss you

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I miss the times when you were with me

We laughed and played so often

There was no room for fear in my life

Mr. Loneliness was shut outside in the cold

I miss the sound of your sweet voice

It brought a smile to my face

Sadness bounced off that smile

Nothing could take my smile away

I miss the way you looked at me

Your eyes spoke volumes of love

I never saw bad things in your gaze

I resisted blinking to savor those moments

I miss your whispered stories

Tales of adventure and discovery

I clung onto every word

Other voices fell silent on my deaf ears

I miss your gentle touch

Holding my hand firm but lovingly

It was always warm and comforting 

The touch from others was always ice cold

I miss watching you sleeping

Listening to your breath

Waiting for your wakening smile

That guaranteed good morning kiss

Those times when we were apart

Were filled with anticipation

My emotions were frozen

I put my life on pause until your return

And one day you never came back

My frozen emotions melted by hot tears

Fear and sadness rushed into my empty life

I am too weak to evict them from my soul

My eyes are tired from searching for you

My ears weary from listening for you

My hand is numb waiting for your touch

I miss you

she was cold as ice

Ian Hunter1 Comment

They had been married for more than twenty five years

Everybody assumed they were perfectly happy

But when her husband Dave showered her with affection

She was cold as ice

Dave never gave up on their marriage

He continued to love her as before

He gave her lavish gifts on birthdays and anniversaries 

She was cold as ice

The colder she got the harder Dave tried

She made more demands for freedom

He allowed her to take vacations alone

She was cold as ice

Dave started to feel the strain

Holding down a full time job and bringing up the kids

He asked her to be more of a partner

She was cold as ice

Dave discovered she was having an affair

He asked her if she was seeing somebody else

She denied everything claiming it was all his imagination

She was cold as ice

Dave was devastated to learn his wife was a cheat and a liar

He calmly amassed more evidence

While pretending to accept her denials

She was cold as ice

He confronted her one last time

Presenting irrefutable facts of her lies and cheating

He gave her a chance to confess

She was cold as ice

Dave told her he would forgive her

If she promised to stay faithful to their marriage

She walked out and never came back

She was cold as ice

Ebb and Flo

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Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com

Ebb was a nice guy

he just could not get his act together

things seemed to slip out of his grasp

he chased them one away

then they went the other way

his life was turbulent

Flo was a lady in control

she practiced yoga every day

meditation kept her stress levels down 

she was always happy and contented

nothing ever fazed her

her every day went smoothly

Ebb met Flo and they fell in love instantly

they complimented each other

Flo taught Ebb how to relax

his days became more controlled

Ebb taught Flo how to let go sometimes

and occasionally be wild and spontaneous

They settled down and got married

soon the babies started to arrive

they were caring and loving parents

their kids grew and went to college

they became proud grandparents

they were very happy and contented

their life together had ebbed and flowed so well

what could make you happy?

Ian HunterLeave a comment

if you are asking yourself that question

there is a good chance that you are unhappy right now

you feel you need to be in a better place

but how exactly do you get there

Is it the accumulation of wealth and material objects

do you yearn for a bigger house or a new flashy car

they probably won’t make you that happy

just bring you more worries

have you ever watched a child at play

building sandcastles on a beach next to his family

that child has a zero net financial worth

its not the sandcastles that make him happy

its the love and devotion from his family that makes him feel safe and content

fulfilling relationships are the key to happiness

so go out and send some loving messages to your family and friends

show them you care about them enough to invest time in your relationships

be ready to listen and be their confidante

stop worrying about your net financial worth

focus on growing your fulfilling relationship net worth

spread a little love multiple times throughout your day

your happiness portfolio will grow over time

and you will happily build sandcastles with your grandchildren when you are over 65