My emails are out of control
Around 100 new emails arrive every day
Mostly unsolicited marketing stuff
I only open emails I recognize as important
The unopened ones pile up
Its too much effort to delete them all
I recently decided to purge all my incoming emails
Opening every email daily and hunting for the unsubscribe option
Its always in fine print hidden away
Often it takes you to a second page to confirm
After a couple of weeks the flow is starting to subside
New ones still pop up uninvited
My name must be on mailing lists that are being passed around
I will have to make the unsubscribe a daily ritual
Perhaps I can extend it to other parts of my life
When those annoying commercials come on TV
It would be great to have an unsubscribe button on the TV remote
The commercial instantly stops broadcasting and will never repeat
When you answer a robo call on your phone
It would be nice if you could just say unsubscribe
The caller hangs up and never calls again
When at a bar and some really boring guy in the next seat keeps chatting to you
You ask the bartender to unsubscribe you from him
He instantly stops bugging you
When somebody is tailgating you on the freeway
You hit the unsubscribe button on your rear view mirror
Their car is made to slowdown and back off
When you get a pile of junk snailmail
Toss it all into your smart unsubscribe trash can
Where it scans the senders and deletes you from their mailing lists
If your bills are getting to be too expensive for your budget
Hit the unsubscribe option to stop getting them
Unwanted callers ringing your smart front doorbell
Unsubscribe to have them teleported away
Tired of your partner in that bad relationship
Hit unsubscribe and they instantly vanish forever
If you are really old and sick with no quality of life
Hit unsubscribe and go straight to heaven
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 