My emails are out of control

Around 100 new emails  arrive every day

Mostly unsolicited marketing stuff

I only open emails I recognize as important

The unopened ones pile up

Its too much effort to delete them all

I recently decided to purge all my incoming emails

Opening every email daily and hunting for the unsubscribe option

Its always in fine print hidden away

Often it takes you to a second page to confirm 

After a couple of weeks the flow is starting to subside

New ones still pop up uninvited

My name must be on mailing lists that are being passed around

I will have to make the unsubscribe a daily ritual

Perhaps I can extend it to other parts of my life

When those annoying commercials come on TV

It would be great to have an unsubscribe button on the TV remote

The commercial instantly stops broadcasting and will never repeat

When you answer a robo call on your phone

It would be nice if you could just say unsubscribe

The caller hangs up and never calls again

When at a bar and some really boring guy in the next seat keeps chatting to you

You ask the bartender to unsubscribe you from him

He instantly stops bugging you

When somebody is tailgating you on the freeway

You hit the unsubscribe button on your rear view mirror

Their car is made to slowdown and back off

When you get a pile of junk snailmail

Toss it all into your smart unsubscribe trash can

Where it scans the senders and deletes you from their mailing lists

If your bills are getting to be too expensive for your budget

Hit the unsubscribe option to stop getting them

Unwanted callers ringing your smart front doorbell

Unsubscribe to have them teleported away

Tired of your partner in that bad relationship

Hit unsubscribe and they instantly vanish forever

If you are really old and sick with no quality of life

Hit unsubscribe and go straight to heaven