Category: housewok

She will have to go

Ian HunterLeave a comment

beds are great for sleeping

you can wriggle around and get cosy

toss that extra pillow away

tear off the blanket if you get too hot

once asleep you can dream 

its your own escape world

anything is possible in your dreams

but all dreams have a finite life

I snap back to reality when I wake up

I get up and look at the bed with disdain

wrinkled sheets and crumpled  blankets

discarded pillows scattered all over the bedroom 

no this is not a dream

its that daily ritual that is such a boring chore

I have to make the bed again

once crisp smooth sheets 

refuse to give up their wrinkles

like aged grandmothers who forever lost their once smooth looks

the fitted bottom sheet has jumped off in the night

it must have shrunk 

I can never get it back as before

I have to keep walking around the bed

to line up the other side 

again and again and again and again

I do not want to walk all these miles before breakfast

I really only need one pillow for sleeping

so why must I decorate the bed with ten more

finally the bed is made and the chore is done

I feel weary enough to climb back in again

will somebody please invent a self making bed

one that automatically changes the sheets every week

I dream of waking up and looking at my messed up bed

then shouting ALEXA….MAKE THE BED

I actually asked her today

she gave me that annoying response

I am sorry I do not have that skill

ALEXA…HIRE A MAID TO MAKE THE BED

I am sorry I do not have that skill

she will have to go

Mop and roll music*

Ian HunterLeave a comment

The wind and rain

Is here again

Too windy for a hike

Too wet to ride a bike

Morning exercise is now postponed 

Cancellation excuses not condoned

Forecast to stop raining sometime soon

I’ll ride my bike this afternoon

Filling my morning with routine chores

Doing laundry and cleaning floors

Playing really loud music while I mop

Rocking the house down with ZZ Top

She will have to go*

Ian Hunter1 Comment

beds are great for sleeping

you can wriggle around and get cosy

toss that extra pillow away

tear off the blanket if you get too hot

once asleep you can dream 

its your own escape world

anything is possible in your dreams

but all dreams have a finite life

I snap back to reality when I wake up

I get up and look at the bed with disdain

wrinkled sheets and crumpled  blankets

discarded pillows scattered all over the bedroom 

no this is not a dream

its that daily ritual that is such a boring chore

I have to make the bed again

once crisp smooth sheets 

refuse to give up their wrinkles

like aged grandmothers who forever lost their once smooth looks

the fitted bottom sheet has jumped off in the night

it must have shrunk 

I can never get it back as before

I have to keep walking around the bed

to line up the other side 

again and again and again and again

I do not want to walk all these miles before breakfast

I really only need one pillow for sleeping

so why must I decorate the bed with ten more

finally the bed is made and the chore is done

I feel weary enough to climb back in again

will somebody please invent a self making bed

one that automatically changes the sheets every week

I dream of waking up and looking at my messed up bed

then shouting ALEXA….MAKE THE BED

I actually asked her today

she gave me that annoying response

I am sorry I do not have that skill

ALEXA…HIRE A MAID TO MAKE THE BED

I am sorry I do not have that skill

she will have to go

Appliance reliance

Ian Hunter8 Comments

we are surrounded by gadgets and machines in the modern world

gone are the days of wind up alarm clocks with clanging bells

today you can be gently roused from slumber by soft music from your Alexa device

or your smartphone will play an infinite array of sleep interrupting sounds

are we just too lazy to clean our teeth with a traditional brush

or does that electronic vibrating toothbrush do a better job

if you have no time to floss use a water jet flossing device

ditch the shaving cream and turn on your electric razor

throw your dirty laundry into the washing machine

it does all the hard work at the press of a button

if your shirt looks wrinkled the dryer will freshen it up

nobody bothers to iron anything anymore

cooking breakfast used to be an activity in itself

today you can do it all with one finger

press a button to start the coffee machine

drop your bread in the toaster and heat your oatmeal the microwave

do you remember morning newspapers delivered to your door

breakfast time silence was so sweet while you read the newspaper

today Alexa will read you the news by voice command

maybe you prefer to hit the TV remote while you wait for the toast to pop up

don’t expect anybody to write you a letter with their news

your laptop keyboard buttons obediently bring you email instagram and facebook 

text your spouse that shopping list rather than writing a note on paper

don’t be late by washing those dishes its much faster to press the dishwasher on button

if its cold outside you can press a button to warm up your car remotely

did you remember to lock the front door today

your smart lock app on your phone will confirm all is secure

do you miss that dial to scan the airwaves on your car radio

the worried elderly wife paced the hospital waiting room

a doctor came in with bad news written all over his face

I am sorry but there is nothing more we can do for your husband

his fingers are all worn out from a lifetime of pressing buttons

Tableware abuse and rescue

Ian Hunter4 Comments

He loaded the dishwasher

but did not run it

soon after the door closed

they started talking

the plates complained of not being rinsed

you can tell when she is away

he leaves all that food on us

I hate feeling so yucky

the forks joined in

he just throws us in randomly

but she always puts us tines up

I hate being upside down

the cups were crying

he never wipes off the tea ring stain

it won’t come out in washing

he will put us away stained

the plastic cups were inconsolable

we shouldn’t even be in here

she always hand washes us

we will melt and die they screamed

after many uncomfortable days

the overloaded dishwasher finally ran

thank goodness said the knives

soon we will be back in the drawer

when the drawer closed they chatted more

the spoons were furious

we don’t live in this drawer

quiet everybody!….I can hear she is back home

the drawer opened

she apologized profusely to everybody

as they all went back in the dishwasher

they were all tines up happy again

Mop and roll music

Ian Hunter2 Comments

The wind and rain

Is here again

Too windy for a hike

Too wet to ride a bike

Morning exercise is now postponed 

Cancellation excuses not condoned

Forecast to stop raining sometime soon

I’ll ride my bike this afternoon

Filling my morning with routine chores

Doing laundry and cleaning floors

Playing really loud music while I mop

Rocking the house down with ZZ Top