My talking weed was gasping

I grabbed the stems of the vine

Cutting them with the pruning shears

The vine recoiled and my talking weed gasped for breath

You saved my life again he said

I shall forever be in your debt

I decided it was safer for him to be inside

Placing him on the coffee table and asking his name

My full name is Capsella bursa-pastoris

but you can call me Caps

For the next few hours I asked lots of questions of Caps

I learned a lot about the conflict between plants and weeds

It started with playground style pushing and shoving

But as the weeds were persecuted by humans it took a sinister turn

Radical weed groups were formed

They organized paramilitary insurgent cells

Set up training camps for weed commandoes

Hacking into the Mycelium which connects all organic matter underground

Its like the Internet for trees and plants

The radicalized weeds were able to detect where weeds were being eradicated

Then they sent in their troops to overrun these areas

more frightening were the terrorist weed cells

They were actually targeting weed eliminating gardeners

Poisoning them with natural herbal substances

Inducing heart attacks and strokes

Deaths of these gardeners appeared to be natural

Nobody had ever suspected that terrorist weeds were to blame

Caps had attended training camps but wanted to abandon their ways

He knew that they would forever hunt him down and kill him

But he was prepared to take that risk

I thought he was such a brave little weed

I told him we should talk more tomorrow

It was getting late so I gave him a sip of water

Then I headed off to bed

I could hear a strange voice in the bedroom

You are making a big mistake

This will end badly for us all