soul whispers

Everybody needs a mirror

not the shiny reflective kind we all look into occasionally

although useful for checking out your appearance

but oh so unforgiving

highlighting every blemish and wrinkle

showing your fat bulges

yelling straight back in your face

you look terrible today

but I digress so lets get back to the point here

everybody needs a mirror into their soul

for those moments when you must step back and reflect

when you are contemplating a big decision

it might be a major financial transaction

a huge change in your career

or a relationship crossroads

ask yourself why you want to go a certain way

what is really driving it

is it the right thing to do

are the risks worth taking

are you being totally honest with yourself

its hard to put your emotions to one side

they keep jumping back in and pleading with you

making you have doubts and second thoughts

it helps to have a human mirror to consult

perhaps a good friend or a partner can be your mirror

somebody you can trust completely

to guide you into the right path to follow

it does not always work out that way

one of the worst things that can happen to anybody

is losing the trust of a long term partner

suddenly your mirror is broken and shattered 

leaving you desperately alone and seeking another mirror 

if you are lucky a friend will step in to help

but fear not if you are totally alone in such a crisis

dig deep back into your soul and find that unused mirror

polish it well and take a deep breath

it will not judge you or despise you

for all those years of neglect

it will tell you exactly how things are

help you to make the right decision

once things get better you can revisit your mirror

just to say thank you for all that help

it will glow in appreciation

you will feel the self love inside you

and your soul will whisper

keep looking into my mirror

The empty chair

Standing by the balcony railing

His health was rapidly ailing 

Admiring the spectacular view

Picking out the spots that he knew

Recalling the happy times he spent there

As he sampled the cool morning fresh air

Every breath calming his mind

Accepting he would soon leave this all behind

Not wanting to linger and whither away

He decided that this was his final day

Stepping onto the empty chair

Over the railings and flying through the air

Eyes closed as he accepted his fate

Time slowed down and made him wait

Confused and perplexed as he opened his eyes

Looking at his bedroom ceiling in surprise

Things are not always as they seem

It was all a vivid technicolor dream

He quickly stepped out of bed

Images of the balcony view filled his head

He stepped outside to see the same view

Picking out the spots he knew

Recalling the happy times he spent there

Next to the railing was an empty chair

Time flies when you are having fun but slows down when you are sad

Instagram followers hide your lack of real friends

Texts with thumbs up and Facebook likes

Give the impression you are always happy

Saving you from actually speaking

Lest your voice becomes an unwitting informer

Dark sunglasses hide your sad eyes

You only take them off in the dark

A fake smile masks your depression

Your face aches from forcing it all day

Blacked out windows in your Cadillac

Prevent the world from seeing the real you inside

Your trophy wife paraded in public

She plays the part well when seen

Becoming cold as ice when alone with you

She talks to her friends all day

Never makes eye contact with you

You chose a childless relationship

Too risky having anybody that close to you

Expensive home and flashy toys

A thick wallet full of credit cards

Combine to hide your mounting debts

Long hours and grinding out results

Disguise your real dissatisfaction with your job

You stopped talking to your parents long ago

Tired of them asking what is wrong with you

You hang out with the boys every week

Mostly to be seen doing guy things

Watching sports and talking trash

Downing beers for an alcoholic buzz

Your sad thoughts briefly anesthetized

Laughing outwardly at all the stupid jokes

While crying uncontrollably inside

You wished it was all a bad dream

But its there every time you wake up

You pray for the day when it will all change

You wait for guidance of a new direction

You hope for the strength to adjust

You are constantly looking for the signal

Discover your dreams, fears and hope

Take one word from each group that starts with the same letter

Darkness

Despair

Disappointments

Depression

Light

Life

Luxury

Love

Pain

Paranoia

Perplexed

Petrified

Fun

Frolic

Frivolous

Friendly

Scandalous

Salacious

Selfish

Shameful

Happy

Hallowed

Handsome

Harmonious

Make a story about you with your six words

What does it tell you about your dreams, fears and hope?

Demons

Depression consumes you

Eats away at your soul

There is no escaping it

Sleeping is no cure

Demons wait for you to wake up

Stomping all over you

Your body aches

Pills are not the answer

Your mind has been hijacked

Negative thoughts squat

Refusing to be evicted

You just want to be alone

No interest in working

Exercise is unappealing

Even eating is a chore

You have reached rock bottom

Time slows down

You stare into empty space

Nothing in focus

You take a deep breath

This is endless

You feel totally numb

What is that sound

Music is playing

Its your favorite song

Negative thoughts melt away

Happy memories float in

Bright ideas queue up

Patiently waiting for you

Your aches drain away

You feel energized again

Your next breath tastes so sweet

Color returns to your vision

That smell of cooking is so good

Tactile touches make your fingers dance

You just got your life back

Hold onto it tight

Do not let those demons back in

One day of battle won

Early morning silence shrouded in darkness

She lays in bed after a short unsettling sleep

Her mind acutely aware of the pains of old age

Limbs ache and stiff joints resist motion

Her mind tells her to ignore the pain

She tries to remain totally still and avoid any muscle movement

Shunning her medication as it slows down her thoughts

Its an ongoing war with daily battles

Sometimes those battles are lost and she swallows the pills

Today the pillbox sits untouched on the nightstand

She reaches out to the left side in the bed

Feeling the empty space once occupied by her recently departed husband

Her heart aches at the memory of his loss

There is no medication prescribed for such pain

She lingers a while conjuring up images of their life together

Long walks holding hands

Romantic dinners together

Bringing up a family

Smiling faces on vacations

Playing with their grandchildren

Before he was suddenly taken away after a short illness

Her hands scream in pain as she clutches the empty bedsheets

A long glance at the pills starts a fierce debate

Another day of pain or medically induced numbness

Why not take the whole box of pills she pondered

It would put and end to these constant battles

She reached out to grab he pill bottle

Recoiling sharply as she heard a voice yell no don’t do it

It was her husband no mistake

She put the light on replied where are you?

There was nobody else in the room

She sighed and reached again for the pill bottle

Please don’t take the pills he screamed

OK honey she answered knowing he was watching over her

Reaching out to smooth the wrinkled sheets on her husband’s side of the bed

Her arthritic fingers resisted but she overcame the pain

I promise not to swallow the whole bottle of pills she said softly

She never went near the pill bottle for the rest of that day

One day of battle won

Pulling back the sheets at bedtime

Her husband’s side of the bed was already wrinkled

a race without any winners

There was once a time in my life

When I was constantly comparing myself to others

Was I a better runner than him

Did I have more friends than her

Was he earning more than me

Was I a better driver than her

Was he more intelligent than me

Did I get more social invitations than her

Was he more liked than me

I resented those who appeared to be doing better than me

It made me very unhappy

Leading me into jealousy and feelings of low self esteem

It took me a long time to figure it all out

I am in a better place now

Having learned to see the world in a different way

I am no longer in a race to beat everybody around me

I have learned how important it is to trust those you love

And not to be jealous of their fun times without me

I am proud of my own successes

Equally proud of my valiant efforts that led to failures

I can feel genuine pride in the success of my friends

Without the urge to compare them to me

I have learned to measure my achievements against my own expectations

Awarding myself a bye whenever I miss a goal

I love looking at the sun the moon and the stars

I really enjoy the company of my friends

I enjoy good food and fine wines

I get pleasure from lots of simple things

All without worrying about which or who I like best

They all make me happy in different ways

My own jealousy race was called off a long time ago

Sadly I see others still trapped in theirs

A race without any winners

madam palindrome

temperature drops

fun stops

leaves falling

winter calling

wind howling

walkers scowling

fingers numb

cold bum

reaching home

madam palindrome

fireplace burning

stomach churning

warming hands

making plans

cocktail making

stirring shaking

old fashioned

wickedly impassioned 

cutting cheese

bees knees

garlic crackers

appetite highjackers

fireside drinking

wistful thinking

friends departed

feeling downhearted 

watching flames

recalling names

memory lane

grieving pain

doorbell ring

voices sing

friends arrive

feeling alive

laughter abounds

sweet sounds

drinks flowing

happiness growing

stopped forsaking

memories making

Don’t throw away all the memories

his wife was complaining about all his stuff in the attic

he reluctantly decided to go through all the old boxes

stuff that had been put away for years

obviously not needed but for some reason never been discarded 

he sifted through the contents of the first small box

a tin box full of foreign coins

memories of his traveling days flooded back

places he had visited on business trips and vacations

images flashed through his mind for each coin he touched

an old watch that no longer worked

it was of no value except it belonged to his father

he wound it up and it started to tick

he could hear his father’s voice again

he missed him so much

a notebook from many years ago

containing wish lists of things to do and places to see

they had written it when first married

he read off each item slowly

pausing to recall the joys of each achieved wish

trying to remember why some never happened

bunches of keys from previous dwellings

he held a front door key tightly

remembering opening that door many years ago

seeing his young children run to greet him

they are grown now with kids of their own

a big old bulky calculator he used in college

reliving the hours he spent solving problems with that

the stressful times of exams

he could remember all those long hours of study

he did find some bits and broken pieces

and a collection of old pens and pencils

he carefully put them in a paper bag

before closing the box

he had removed less than ten percent of the contents

over dinner that night his wife cornered him asking if he had cleaned out everything in the attic as promised

he hesitated before saying he had cleared some of it from one small box

she pushed him harder wanting to know why he was keeping all that junk

he insisted that it might be a small box of stuff but it contained a lifetime of great memories

she could see he was getting upset and gave him a big hug

whispering to him softly “I am so sorry, please keep your boxes full of memories”

he replied “thanks, I did clear some space for us to make a few more memories”