There are only two types of weather in England:
Its raining or
Its going to rain
Yesterday day was obviously “its going to rain” because we woke up to heavy rain interspersed by periods of drizzle. It reminded me that my memories of long hot summers in my youth are all fabricated by my mind to prevent me from falling into depression about the dreary English weather. For sure there can be periods of hot sunny weather but they are rare. The most predictable thing about weather in England is its unpredictability. Being an island where no point is more than seventy miles from the sea leaves it open to attack from every moisture laden cloud drifting over the ocean. Its the same law that drives hurricanes towards mobile home parks in USA.
We had arrived at my sister’s house in a rental car with the boot(aka trunk) filled with 4 suitcases and 4 carry on bags. We needed more room for essential supplies to take to Scotland:
Extra waterproof clothing, warmer clothes, groceries, fly fishing gear and most importantly collection of single malts.
We had to get creative to free up some space so the first thing was to empty all the cases and discard anything that was not essential for the trip up north such as shorts, bathing suits or sunblock. All remaining clothing was placed in soft bags. Next it was time to find all the unused storage space in the rental car. Small items we stuffed under the seats, inevitably something would get lost there to be found by a future renter like a time capsule. ‘Oh look I found a left shoe and a pair of socks under here” he will say. Then came the task of packing everything into the boot space with no gaps at all. This puzzle is a real challenge for the male species in the same way that BBQ grilling is mostly a male sport. I am not saying that women cannot pack or grill, its just that men cling onto these tasks as something they must do to prove their worthiness. Women are far more intelligent and graciously leave them to it while solving much bigger problems. A break in the weather allowed me to practice my cave man inherited skills of packing everything into the boot leaving enough space for the grocery shopping. An hour later it was all done and I insisted that everybody come out and marvel at the two cubic feet of empty space I had created. Karen was not impressed and announced “you packed away my coat“. I spent the next hour searching for her coat, which was of course hiding at the bottom and then I had to repack everything again.
The weather forecast was predicting storms in 90 minutes so we decided to make the best of this dry weather window and take a walk along the nearby canal. The Lancaster canal was built in between 1797 and 1826 to move goods between Wigan and Kendal. The canal flourished though the 19th century until it was overtaken by the railways. Today is exclusively used for leisure with barges providing floating platforms to view the beautiful English landscape. Thankfully many of the canal side pubs still exist today providing great start and finish points for beer thirsty walkers. Today we only had time for a short walk along the towpath but we were able to capture some great views of Morecambe Bay and the distant hills. We could hear thunder in the distance so we headed back to Kath’s house to arrive home dry. Minutes later the heavens opened again and it rained the rest of the afternoon.
We rounded off the day with a trip the the local fish and chip shop to introduce Norbie and Maria to another fine English tradition. Fried battered cod with chips and mushy peas! Once wrapped in newspaper, this culinary treat now comes packaged in eco friendly paper cartons but still tastes divine with salt and vinegar.
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 