Shoenanigans

she brought home some casual shoes

put them in her closet

as soon as she closed the door

the sneakers piped up

oh look at you fancy new casuals

I bet you will be going to some cool places

not so fast said the high heels

the best places are reserved for us

the casual shoes tried to make peace

hey she has plenty of foot time for all of us

all the shoes from last year hunkered down at the back

not knowing if they would ever be worn again 

they prayed they would come back in fashion again soon

they were dreading the fate of being donated

hey look said the sandals

she is walking barefoot again

such a waste cried the flat shoes

she needs to wear us instead

the boots in the back broke out into a chorus

these boots are made for walking

all the other shoes winced

we hate that stupid boots song

look out she is coming back cried the flip flops

the door opened and the shoes all went quiet

the dancing shoes were pulled out

and a pair of very sexy high heels went too

there was constant gossip for the rest off the evening

who is she going dancing with

what time will she be back

we expect a full report from the high heels

much later that night the dancing shoes and high heels returned

along with a pair of mens designer shoes 

her shoes did not know what to say

none of her shoes slept a wink that night

it was the first time male shoes had been in that closet

the male shoes snored all night

Harold the dreamer

Harold was often described as a dreamer

He had lots of ideas in his life

Many were converted to goals

But he rarely achieved any of them

Harold became depressed

He decided to visit his local library

Browsing all the self help books

The one which caught his attention was called

If your dreams are not scary they are not big enough

He decided to watch horror movies

His dreams got really scary but not really that big

His achievements did not improve at all

Back to the library for more research

He tried sleeping pills

He slept all night and most of the day

He had a lot more dreams but he could not remember them

As he was never awake enough

Back to the library for more research

He cut out the sleeping pills and decided to give up dreaming completely

Cutting down on sleep by filling his time doing productive tasks

Not sleeping until a big task was finished

Starting a new task as soon as he woke up

He got a lot done

Harold became hugely successful

His personal wealth was astronomical

But Harold was not happy

He could not understand why

Back to the library for more research

He spent days reading books on the psychology of happiness

Harold went to see a psychologist named Randy

Harold was subjected to many tests and interviews

After completing his diagnosis

Randy informed Harold that he was an unhappy over achiever

Randy advised Harold to rebalance his life

Harold decided to cut down on all this doing stuff

He stopped going to the library for research

He took up dreaming again

His dreams welcomed him back

Harold became deliriously happy

Life is not so bad

If you are a financially secure retired former over achiever

 Who now happily dreams all the time

tether the weather

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

Ride the wind

Do not fight it

With a jibe and tack

You can go anywhere

Float in the breeze

Surrender your will

Drift along aimlessly

Be adventurous

Race with the storm

Follow its path

Feel the power

Absorb its energy

Bathe in the rain

Wash away your woes

Troubles float away

Cleanse your soul 

Walk in the snow

Silent footsteps

Embrace the chill

Its cool to be cool

Day Dreams

Photo by Eman Genatilan on Pexels.com

every night ends with a dream

each day starts with waking up

every day is a different journey

a winding road with steep climbs

the straight and narrow path

floating slowly down a meandering river

fast descending down a steep mountain slope

a bumpy ride over a rough trail

stuck in heavy traffic with no movement

carrying a heavy load

stuck in reverse and going backwards all day 

totally lost in unfamiliar territory

meandering along a trail with spectacular views

a group hike with laughter and great scenery

wading  through thick sticky mud all day

zooming over the clouds in an airplane

stopping to pick up somebody else’s burden

feeling low and going nowhere fast

pedaling fast and feeling the wind on your face

pulling somebody else along with you

almost drowning in deep water 

walking on a sandy beach in bright sunshine

fighting sickness and going downhill fast

standing still and watching everybody else run around in circles

endless ups and downs on a rollercoaster ride

struggling against the wind in a heavy storm

recovering from sickness and crawling back steadily to good health

moving along fine then halted by an unexpected collision

treading slowly and carefully in total darkness

being pulled along by somebody else

every day ends with falling asleep

followed by the ultimate journey in your dreams

Sad eyes smile after rain

Photo by Noelle Otto on Pexels.com

Suddenly overcast

Rain clouds

Sunshine suspended

Gloomy skies

Sad eyes

Eerie stillness

Light sprinkling

Large drops

Advance party

Warning spots

Sudden gust

Howling wind

Sideways rain

Heavy torrent

Plantpots topple

Ground soaked

Puddles appear

Pedestrians scatter

Roadway flooded

Cars slowing

Trees swaying

Rain hisses

Foliage swishes

Traveling shower

Soon passes

Wind drops

Rain stops

Clouds drift

Blue skies

Sun shines

Road dries

Plantpots restored

Nature attacks

Nature resists

Nature survives

Step outside

Bright skies

Splashing puddles

Smiling eyes

how to check in on yourself

Photo by Engin Akyurt on Pexels.com

Pour a glass of wine

Play your favorite music

Close your eyes

Listen

Lose yourself for a while

Turn off the music

Go to a very quiet room

Listen 

Listen very hard

Politely ask your thoughts to be quiet

Listen

Ignore those persistent thoughts and they will go away

Breathe 

Close your eyes

Listen

Hold your breath

Listen to your heart beating

Say thanks to your heart

Breathe again

Let your thoughts back in slowly

Listen 

Reject all the negative thoughts

Embrace the positive thoughts

Pour yourself another glass of wine

Enjoy

Repeat daily

your last summer

Its a real pleasure waking up to warm sunny days

perfect for outdoor living

by midday the heat becomes brutal

you tell me you have to find shade

you say the AC inside makes you feel too cold

how many more hot days will you endure

before you start wishing for cooler times

its sad that you want the summer to end

I remember what you said six months ago

when is was dark dreary and bitter cold

you wanted winter to end forever

and every day to be hot and sunny

when we were young our summers were endless

long days at the beach or by the pool

every evening was dedicated to music dancing and wine

never ending nights of passion

too old now to party all night

you fall asleep watching TV

wine spills from the glass in your hand

please remember to take your bedtime medication

your memories are now short

your tolerance gets shorter

you get grumpy when hungry

you get tired and need afternoon naps

regressing back to your childhood

a three year old mind trapped in an old body

this might be your very last summer

I want it to last forever

Food chain

I chased a fly off my plate

wishing him an unpleasant fate 

oh tiny spider running by

spin your web to catch that pesky fly

pretty little bird eats that spider

she cannot escape when she is inside ya

stealthy fox approaches with zeal

now the bird is his next meal

the fox moves on with a strut so regal

suddenly he is grabbed by a passing eagle

this tale must end here according to the editor

because an eagle has no natural predator

ten ways to reduce your online shopping guilt burden

Amazon Prime is such a convenient way to shop, especially during a pandemic. Just a few clicks and the item is on its way to your door. If it arrives damaged or the wrong size just send it back for free. As a consumer its a far better system that having to drive to a retail store and deal with parking, searching for stuff and waiting in those long checkout lines. It does however come at a huge cost to the environment, 165 billion packages were shipped in the U.S last year. That equates to 1 Billion trees worth of cardboard. Most of what is shipped is just air, one tiny item often arrives in a shoe box size container stuffed with air filled plastic. Amazon claims to be committed to reducing its carbon footprint but it actually increased by 15% in 2019. The online shopping giant said it emitted 51.17 million metric tons of carbon dioxide last year, the equivalent of 13 coal burning power plants running for a year.  Here are 10 things you can do to help reduce this footprint.

1-Only buy what you really need by spending a little more time getting the correct item rather than returning so much. Stop buying three different sizes to find the one that fits. 

2-Complain to Amazon about the amount of plastic and packaging waste they send you. Companies do listen to customers. 

3-Lobby your law makers to force manufacturers to declare the carbon footprint of their product and online retailers to add lowest carbon footprint in your search filter. 

4- Group your items into a single shipment at checkout. Make a rule in your household not to hit the buy button until 5 or more things can be grouped.

5- Chose slower shipping whenever possible.  Faster shipping burns more fuel in transit. 

6- Make an effort to buy environmentally friendly stuff. Search for sustainable products and discover a whole new world of bamboo utensils, reusable make up pads, washable paper towels and bamboo toothbrushes.

7-Give yourself a 24 hour cooling off period on all purchases. Stop the impulse buying and leave stuff in your basket overnight. It will often look less appealing the next day, especially if you were a bit tipsy when you selected the item. 

8-Declare 2 specific days a week as online shopping free in your household. Use those days to give something back to the planet like planting tree or growing your own food. 

9-Learn to repair broken things rather than toss them and buying replacements.

10-Share these ideas with your friends and any other victims of the online shopping disease.

Tour de France ghost rider

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The middle aged man walks the halls in banner painted lycra

Wheeling his bright red bicycle to the elevator

His clumpy cleated shoes tap dance on the tiled floor

Announcing his presence loudly

waiting for the elevator

Leaning on his two wheeled walking stick

This handicapped walker is like a fish out of water

Speeding downward in the elevator

Emerging at ground level into the parking lot

Checking his back pocket for keys and sugar laden snacks

A strong leg is thrown over the cross bar

Straddling the tamed beast for a ceremonial moment

Adjusting the visor on his helmeted head

Cranking the left pedal backwards

Until his foot is near the ground

A resounding click welds his shoe to the pedal

A slight backward crank primes his muscles for takeoff

The beast lunches forward as his right shoe clicks in

Man and bicycle are now welded together in unison

Hands push down on the odd shaped bars

Palms resting on the hoods of the infrequently used brake levers

Padded shorts rise skyward to meet the ridiculously high razor blade seat

Arms stretched out into the wind

A small computer on the handlebar displays his progress

Speed and heart rate rise in unison

While pedal rpms stay constant

Gear changes are fully electronic on this high tech machine

Every nut and bolt has been trimmed for weight

The featherlight carbon fibre frame mimics airplane wings

Slipping through the reluctant air softly

The middle aged man flies low at 25mph

His skin tight costume refuses to flap in the wind

It will be a short 30 mile ride today

The computer reminds him to hydrate every 15 minutes

And to eat something every hour

He obeys all the computer commands

Resembling an android caught up in an exercise video

At the end of the ride he hits finish on the bike computer

Now back in control of his own life he sighs in relief

The sweaty middle aged man walks back along the halls

Dripping perspiration along the corridor

Passing residents nod either in admiration or disapproval

Upon arrival back home he consults his home computer

Which has monitored every parameter of his ride

Via a link to his bike computer

It tells him is effort level is way too low

He needs to pedal harder and longer

He nods in acceptance of the computer instructions

Lycra goes in the washing machine for a tumble

While he naps and dreams of riding in the Tour de France

His computer wakes him up

He briefly questions why he rides this bike at all

The home computer reminds him he must try harder tomorrow 

He has had enough

The hammer pounds the home computer

Leaving debris allover the floor

Its a short walk to his beloved bike

The bike computer is switched off

Saved from the fate of the hammer

The next day

The middle aged man walks the halls in banner painted lycra

Wheeling his bright red bicycle to the elevator

He rides his usual path without data reporting instruments

Riding the rest of the day at his own pace

Stopping for lunch by a river

Dropping his bike computer into the deep water

Freedom at last

Coming home alone

No computer to interrogate him

No data analysis

No speed, cadence, distance, power and heart rate tracking

From now on its just him and his bike on the open road

Back to old school cycling

No more data driven decisions

Riding by instinct from now on

He rides in the Tour de France nightly in his dreams

The other riders are in awe of his riding style

As he speeds up the mountain

Leaving them for dust

They all ask their computers for instructions to catch him up

But their computers have no answers

They do not know how to compete with a non-data driven human

The middle aged ghost rider wins the Tour de France nightly