Its a right of passage for every man

Firing up the charcoal grill to cook a meal

I remember so well my first efforts

Struggling to light damp coals

Putting the sausages on before the grill was hot

Walking away and leaving them unattended

Returning to see dripping grease well ablaze

Serving my family the charred sausage remains 

Their look of horror still haunts me

But they had waited so long for dinner that they ate it anyway

I eventually mastered the art of lighting the coals

Planning well ahead to allow time for the coals to get hot

And learned when to put the food on the grill

Keeping a spray bottle of water to extinguish grease flare ups

We enjoyed many a fine meal from those grilling days

I always dreaded to next day cleanup

Especially if the ashes had been rained on

The metal grill was such a pain to scrub clean

Remnants of food stubbornly welded in place

I began to grow tired of the entire process

It was just too time consuming

We grilled less often

Then I discovered the joys of gas grilling

No more messy charcoal and instant self lighting heat

Grilling was welcomed back into our cuisine

Al fresco cooking and dining is so much fun

Then we moved to a high rise condo

No open flame grilling permitted

Everything had to be cooked in the kitchen

The magical days of grilling outside were gone

Disillusioned and depressed I sought counseling 

My grilling mentor introduced me to modern electric grilling

I was fearful of cooking directly over a heating element

Visions of food dripping onto the element filled me with dread

But fear ye not with a modern Ninja electric grill

A cast iron griddle sits above the electric heating element

That drains grease away into a collecting tray

Cleanup is easy every time

An electric smoke box to burn wood pellets

Multi function electrical controls

To grill, bake, smoke, broil or air fry

Temperature probes monitoring food while cooking

All hooked up to your phone via bluetooth

Science has taken all the guesswork out of grilling

Dial in your cooking times and walk away

The App tells you when the food is ready

My days of high carbon footprint grilling are over

My Ninja grill is powered by clean electricity

Which is partly generated by renewables 

I like to think that my electricity comes exclusively from atomic power stations

So I can serve my guests the most delicious perfectly cooked dish

NINJA NUCLEAR CHICKEN!