my name is Gerry and I am a crow
we are members of the corvid family
my cousins are ravens jays and magpies
us crows are very intelligent birds
smarter than some primates
probably smarter than a lot of humans
if you see us all falling about laughing
its probably over the dumb antics of a human
we do get a bad rap from other birds
I admit that we occasionally steal their eggs
but they always lay plenty more
to be sure their own species survives
crows are despised by humans
they use our name to insult women
we crows are much more civilized
I married Dahlia three years ago
I would never stoop so low to call her an old human
we are a devoted couple and will stay together for life
unlike other birds who are polygamous
you will never see a crow at a bird swapping party
why do so many humans cheat on their partners
no wonder almost half human marriages end in divorce
we crows are civilized and live together in a family group
our sentries keep a lookout for owls and hawks
humans call a group of crows a murder
another example of how rude they can be
we crows use tools to get food
dropping hard shells onto rocks for example
some humans cannot even open a can of beans
humans are so wasteful with their food
we know how to open trashcans to get their leftovers
our ancestors were persecuted by humans
they tried to shoot us all to extinction
crows would never participate in such ethnic cleansing
we got smart and moved to the cities and suburbs
nobody shoots crows in urban areas
we often witness humans shooting each other though
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 