English rain is often a quiet and persistent presence
more of a mist than a downpour
it arrives in a soft steady drizzle soaking the earth slowly but thoroughly
the clouds hang low
casting a gray light over the countryside and cities alike
making the green fields glow more vibrantly
people dash around clutching umbrellas
splashing in puddles
waiting for the rain to stop
England would not be England without rain
I gaze upon yonder fields
Rolling hills beside the bay
A flock of sheep grazing
Dotted in a random pattern
Like chess pieces in the middle of a game
Munching their way up and down the hill
They were there yesterday and the day before
Oblivious to wind, rain or baking sun
An integral part of the landscape
What do they think of as they meander through that field
Are they in awe of the beautiful landscape
Do they chat amongst themselves and exchange sheepy gossip
Is there a leader in the pack directing their every move
We will never know unless we learn to speak sheep
One day the farmer will take some to market
Perhaps leaving some to grow fatter
I will watch over them as we eat our Sunday roast
Pouring gravy over my potatoes, peas and lamb
Whispering to the sheep in yonder pasture
Sorry I just ate your mother
A family reunion in the Lake District of England
Beautiful scenery is poetry for your eyes
Wide expansive estuaries meet low rolling hills
Tidal waters disappear twice daily
Revealing vast expanses of golden sands
A feeding ground for wading birds
The Pennine mountains watching over you
Protecting this well preserved landscape
Steeped in history with houses built from stone
Quaint little villages waiting to be explored
Well kept walking paths welcoming your feet
Great British pubs offering you shelter from the rain
Have a pint with some fine English cuisine
Order a second pint with friendly banter at the bar
The pace of life is slow and to be savored
Its stopped raining at least for a while
Visit a bird sanctuary to check on migration
Rare birds occasionally stop by to peek at the ornithologists
Holiday makers come in search of tranquil scenery
This is not a destination for sun worshipping night clubbers
Its a perfect place for those seeking peace and nature
The locals here appreciate this unique environment
Quality time here with the family is precious
Enjoying the gift of every moment
Growing up in England
I was always hungry to learn new words
We had a hard copy of the Oxford English Dictionary
Always on hand during a game of scrabble
If it was not in the book then your word did not exist
Of course each year they have to add new words
In my youth you could never use laptop or internet in a game of scrabble
I am totally fine that the Children’s edition of this dictionary evolves annually
However its shocking to learn that words are arbitrarily retired from this book to make way for new ones
Here are some of the words that kids today may never discover:
RIP Newt– We caught them in jars from the local creek
RIP Minnow – Chased with a net on the end of a pole and put in the same jar with the newt
RIP Herring-We ate them for breakfast in their smoked form as Kippers
RIP Kingfisher-That flash of blue flying over the creek will now have no name
RIP Lark– Not just a songbird for me because it also meant having fun or larking about
RIP Leopard– Not many leopards roaming about Liverpool in the 1960’s except for the fake fur coats worn by middle aged ladies that were described as mutton dressed up as lamb
RIP Lobster– It was never on the menu menu in our house but often I fantasized about being chased by a giant lobster with pinching claws
RIP Magpie– You black and white thief of shiny objects now arrested and thrown into word jail for life, maybe your sentence will be reduced upon appeal
Mussel– Oh poor sweet Molly Malone will no be allowed to sing “Cockles and mussels alive alive oh”
alarm sounds
Icelandic slumber
dark o’thirty
jet lagged
bleary eyed
quick shower
head downstairs
hotel breakfast
restaurant full
early travelers
wooly hats
hiking boots
mandatory uniform
hearty breakfast
back upstairs
more layers
backpack filled
head out
gray skies
light rain
running late
walk fast
bus station
find tour
last on
bus leaves
first stop
national park
big cracks
fault line
tectonic plates
continents drift
America here
Europe there
steps away
bus again
to geysers
tourists gather
steam blows
ground hisses
cameras click
photos posted
lunch stop
lamb soup
bus again
final stop
massive waterfall
raging river
cameras click
photos posted
gift shop
buy stuff
hot chocolate
bus again
ride back
long nap
arrive hotel
Golden Circle
checked off
Most people head for the sun on vacation
Selecting a time and place when good weather is guaranteed
Relaxing on a beach or by a pool
Taking long walks on warm dry trails
Selecting a time and place when good weather is guaranteed
So why choose Iceland in October
Its known to be one of their wettest months of the year
It rains almost every day
Temperatures are on the cool side 0°C to 7°C (32°F to 45°F)
Its often very cloudy and impossible to see the northern lights
The weather is not a problem if you dress for it
Layer up for warmth with a a good waterproof outer layer and sturdy footwear
You will stay warm and dry even in horizontal driving rain
The scenery is truly spectacular
Iceland’s lagoons are toasty warm all year round
The local people are equally warm and friendly
Icelandic food is delicious
So don’t let the weather put you off
Put Iceland on your bucket list now
Even in October
Iceland had been on James’ bucket list for a long time
This was going to be a rapid two night stopover en route to Europe
He carefully researched the best things to cram into such a short visit
The northern lights was his greatest wish but their appearance is always at the mercy of the weather
Friends told him he must try a soak in a warm lagoon.
Heated by natural springs these have become popular tourist attractions with adjoining bars and restaurants
He reserved a slot later on the day of his arrival
Hoping he could stay awake long enough to enjoy
For his second day he opted for a guided tour of the island with brief stops at many natural wonders
He wanted to see some volcano action
Not a huge eruption but a good dose of hot flowing lava and billowing steam
He boarded the plane to Iceland and quickly dozed off after dinner
Dreaming about floating in a warm lagoon
Surrounded by drunken tourists going back and forth for repeated vodka shots at the swim up bar
They were all like overcooked drunk prunes
Marveling at the spectacular scenery while desperately trying to keep their cell phones above the water line
He could smell the acrid sulphur from the natural spring water
Suddenly the volcano erupted in the distance
Tourists cheered and stayed in the lagoon to take volcano backdrop selfies
The bar started selling volcano cocktails
It was one big smelly party
People we stumbling and dropping phones into the water
An alarm sounded signaling the need to evacuate from the volcano ash rain
The tourists reluctantly dragged their prune bodies out of the water
Some were still doing shots in the changing room
The first ash rain fell from the sky
Pelting the structure with hot smoking rocks like mortar shells
It was not safe to go outside
They huddled in the building and prayed the bombardment would soon end
More rocks smashed into the roof and it started to collapse
James was convinced he was facing certain death then there was a big bang
His whole body shook and he woke up expecting to be injured only to discover his plane had just touched down on the runway
Thankfully that was just a dream he reassured himself
He switched on his phone as the plane taxied to the terminal at Keflavik airport
Iceland volcano erupting was the news headline….
James needed a one way rental car reservation
He stumbled upon a great half price offer
From an internationally known rental company
It was described as a mystery car
Basically whatever they have left over
He did not need a big car
He was not worried if it was going to be tiny
As long as it was functional
He did all the pre-checkin on line
So it would be just grab n go at the pickup
There was no line but the lady at the desk looked miserable
She grunted license and credit card
A few moments later handing James the keys
Its on the side by the wall
She then answered a phone call with similar grunts
James went to find the car
He spotted it and opened the door
Not having driven a Hyundai before
Searching in the glove box for a manual
No manual or any kind of instructions
He hit the start button and the dash lit up
UNPLUG CAR TO START ENGINE
He got out and walked around the car
Sure enough it was plugged into the wall
He had no idea this was an electric car
No time to waste on learning how to charge it
James went back to the office
He asked if he could exchange it for a regular car
Its what you reserved she grunted
There is a $50 to cancel
After a few minutes of haggling he concluded he was stuck with it
Requesting that somebody show him how to operate it
I’ll send somebody out she grunted
James waited by the vehicle
Hoping for a more helpful employee to show up
A young man approached in silence
He opened the trunk and unplugged the cable
Throwing it into the trunk and announcing
You are good to go now as he walked away
James fiddled with the controls
Drove around the parking lot a few times
Pausing to check the charging level
It was only 50% and the range was close to his journey distance
He would have to top it up before drop-off
Searching on line for the nearest charging station
He was soon pulling up to a vacant Tesla supercharger station
This is easy he thought to himself
I must be super smart to figure this out so quickly
Feeling super smug as he went to plug it in
The plug did not match the car
Another rapid google search revealed
2024 Hyundai cannot be plugged into Tesla superchargers
Unless your purchase a $300 adaptor
He had to think quickly and decided to use the cable that came with the car
Driving around the back of the gas station
He found an outlet on the wall
Quickly plugging it in and feeling smug again
The dashboard confirmed it was charging
But it would need 34 hours to get to 100%
Obviously this was not the solution
James gave up on trying to charge the vehicle
Driving super smoothly on ECO drive mode
He nervously watched the charge level drop down
Warning lights started to flash in the last 50 miles
The charge level was in single digits when he dropped off the car
He arrived in a cold sweat
He handed in the keys to a smiling lady at the counter
Everything work out OK? She enquired
Not really said James I am new to electric cars
She smiled wider There will be a $70 charge for returning the vehicle under 10% charge
James just shrugged in disbelief
He could not think of a worse business model
Trick your customers into renting a spaceship
Leaving them alone to figure it out and then surcharging at drop off
No more Mystery cars for James
Cheeky Monkey Poetry 